I wish it was just a nightmare

It’s late as I write this, my body aches and my mind feels sluggish. I honestly don’t want to write this, but it seems to be the only way to accept what is happening to me. This whole ordeal started with a dream, well honestly it was more of a nightmare. I didn’t think something that’s usually so fleeting would be the herald of something much darker. The dream always starts the same, I wake up in my bed with the cool air of the fan blowing across my body. Even in this posture of peace though, I can tell something is just off. Something within me is stirring, something that is not me.

I wish it was just a nightmare

This foreign presence starts in my chest, wrapping itself around my heart and lungs before moving up my throat and out my arms. I don’t know what this sensation is, but some primal part of my body knows what it is…and its screaming out in terror. My adrenaline so desperately wants to pour out into my system, forcing me to run, but the adrenaline rush doesn’t come. This is when it hits me, I am allowed to react however I want, as long as this presence allows it. Perfectly calm and terrorized all at once, my mind beginning to perceive a threat conflicts with the forced signals of calmness from my physical body makes everything feel surreal. The strain of my body telling me everything is okay and my mind screaming something isn’t right makes me confused. My poor dog senses the conflicting signals coming from me and swings wildly between wanting to comfort me and trying to get as far away as possible as she can within the small bedroom. I rise from my bed, or did something else make me get up? I walk into my adjoining bathroom and look into the mirror.

Everything looks normal: my face, my beard, even my receding hair line all looks comfortingly mine. My eyes though, there’s no crazy color change or pitch black like you see in Hollywood, its just the alarming sense that comes with looking into your own eyes but seeing a stranger in them. I guess you could use the old saying that eyes are the windows to the soul…but I wasn’t seeing my soul look back out at me.

I quickly woke from this nightmare, feeling the worse sense of terror and dread ever in my existence, but I am whole again. The signals from my physical body and the cues from my mind are in sync again. My dog is fast asleep. I quickly stride into the bathroom, the last scene of my nightmare still in my mind, and everything is as it should be. I once again see my soul back through my eyes, and I breathe a sigh of relief, until my reflection smiles back at me while I gaze back in terror.

I stumble out of the room, my socks providing no traction on the laminate floor as I attempt to scramble away from the mirror and the reflection as quickly as possible. Since that dream I don’t sleep much, I stay up late and my body aches from the lack of sleep and my mind continues to degrade. I’ve covered the mirror with a sheet while my eyes were tightly shut. I’m afraid, I’m afraid that what began its work with my last nightmare will complete its task tonight. I know it’s waiting in the depths of my consciousness, my time is short, but I have to let others in the [REDACTED] area know. You have to run, you have to leave, because what is coming is not human, and shouldn’t step foot in this world. Run.