My encounter with what I think might have been a demon.
I’ve had a couple different experiences with things I don’t think were of this world. One of them though felt more like staring into the eyes of an angry god (Might post it here if anyone is interested/if it would fit) so I think this one fits better.
Back a couple years ago I got into a pretty bad argument with a friend. In short, I had been keeping a secret, and had come clean about it. She was really mad and I went to bed feeling like shit. Of course, I’ll admit: I’ve had some issues with mental health (like depression) and my family doesn’t have a good track record with mental health either. But I had never experienced anything like this before.
About halfway through the night, I woke up. I think it was a dream. Again, I think. I was sitting upright in my bed, holding a specific knife I actually owned in my hand. I looked around and my room was illuminated by particularly bright moonlight. This was odd, since my curtains were closed. But it didn’t feel off. I looked at a part of my wall that the light was illuminating quite brightly, and saw words written in some kind of… paint? I don’t wanna say blood cause that sounds cheesy but that’s honestly what it looked like.
The words were “Kill yourself.” Written in what looked like blood. It sounds stupid but that’s what it looked like. As dumb as it sounds, I feel like those are common demonic tropes for a reason. The trope had to start somewhere, right? I should add I had never once self-harmed or even really considered suicide at that point despite my depression. Anyway, when I read those words, it all felt like it clicked. I held the knife up to my wrists and was about to start cutting when something caught my eye in a dark corner of my room. I squinted to get a better look and realized it was somewhat humanoid. It looked absolutely terrifying, and had these eyes and teeth that looked like those of a deep sea fish. Think Gollum mixed with a human with an anglerfish mouth. Not pleasant. When I saw it, the light in the room suddenly went from moonlight to flickering orange as if there was a fire behind me illuminating my room. I ended up bolting upright a few minutes before my alarm, in a cold sweat.
I figured “it’s just a creepy nightmare” so I just got up and went to school, my skin was crawling the whole drive there. I get out of my first class and I start getting anxious, so I reach up to touch my cross necklace. As I do, a voice that isn’t mine speaks in my head and says “God won’t save you.”
For the next few months I had these “incidents” where basically it would feel like some outside force would jump on me and want me to kill myself at the slightest negative happening. I tried to face this feeling by picking up the knife to prove I could resist, but the instant I picked up the knife it felt like I couldn’t put it down. Eventually I managed to put it back in my drawer and I didn’t touch it until I hadn’t had an incident in a while. The incidents stopped after I went outside during one (family was in the house) and firmly told the demon it WOULD leave. By the power of Jesus, it would leave. I honestly feel like I’m lucky that I remembered that part of the Bible cause I think it worked. That was my last incident and it sort of ended after I told the demon to fuck off. I don’t know if that’s what made it go away or if it just lost interest after I wouldn’t kill myself.
So yeah that’s my demon story. I actually went looking online a while back to see what I was dealing with and I found an East Asian demon that seemed like it fit the description. A human-goblin thing with sharp teeth that finds people at low points and tries to convince them to kill themselves. Honestly if it weren’t for the fact that I saw this thing illuminated in what looked like hellfire I would just assume it was the depression. But whatever it is it’s gone now and I haven’t had a single incident in like… it’s gotta be over 3 years at this point. I was 17 and I’m 20 now.