Chapter 9 – June 1635

Journal of Jaralath Caulfield – June 16th, 1635

So this is what it’s like.

Three years of fighting both for and against that motherless worm who calls himself “minister”, and I found myself in a seemingly endless nightmare.

Every expedition he leads me and his “holy army” on, every battle I see taking another colony or village.

As if the nightmares I suffered for years at the hands of these monsters, now I am forced to call them comrades, as I watch them go from settlement to settlement, devouring man, woman and child. The only ones spared are those that Chase chooses to enslave.

I did what I could to avoid the worse of it, I would straggle behind when I could, and couldn’t help but watch as the abominations took their fill of flesh, and Chase took his fill of gold, coin. He would destroy silver when he’d find it. There were times when I went into the villages to try to salvage who I could, but the survivors struck and scorned me because of the marks upon my face, showing me I “belonged” to Chase.

I tried to be defiant, I really did, but Chase new what made me weak, and what made me strong.

The hunger almost always takes it’s hold on me. Chase caught on to this, and between expeditions, he kept me locked and isolated in a special cell he made in his church. He would starve me for some time, offer me food and drink for what had to be every few days, but that would not satisfy me. So instead, he would offer me his communion “bread and wine”, which I knew came from the people he would kill.

Didn’t stop his congregation to accept these treats. Not that they had a choice. And despite my defiance within the walls, the hunger always overtook me. I didn’t see enemy, “comrade” or innocent, I only saw blood and heard an loud voice telling me one thing.

“Feed.”

And from that, I became Chase’s greatest weapon.” The Bloodletter” I hear them call me. The scarred creature that was the most vicious among them, even the armoured ones. To these people, I was turning into a monster as Chase was.

“So the blood on my hands would be on yours as well.” Chase once told me.

Chase also knew why I stayed besides captivity, and he would remind me every expedition that whoever find Mahalia would decide her fate. We knew she was still alive, as Chase tells me that the wind tells him where she has been seen. Anyone else would dismiss this as the ramblings of a madman, but I knew what I’ve seen in displays of his power that I didn’t doubt what he said.

But no matter were we traveled, we never saw any sign of Mahalia. What we found instead was her clan.

The forest people didn’t take too kindly in the other monsters stepping over their bounds, and in the last few expeditions, her clan would attack us. When we made camp, they’d throw stones, logs, and tree branches onto us as we slept. They would set fire to our tents and supplies.

And when they did they were always led by a stronger one. Standing twelve feet tall, with light grey fur and a strength that dwarfed even the strongest in the “holy army”. The monsters always shrunk away from fighting him. He shown them no mercy, and would take one or two of us – man or monster and drag them into the woods.

The next day, we’d find the bodies at the side of a river or lake. Their heads were smothered in the mud, if not submerged in the water all together. The men in our “holy” army gave the grey one a name; “Big John”, after the baptist. Chase called him “The Silver One”.

It was our eighteenth expedition when I had the chance to meet Big John personally. We traveled south for three days. Chase’s plan was to find out were refugees of his conquests were fleeing too, and heard rumours that they found safety in a Spanish settlement. A military based one at that, which happened to be safeguarding a large sum of gold and jewels.

The rumours were true, and Chase thought this was going to be a usual raid. His greed, seemed to have overpowered any sense he had. What he did not expect was the firepower that come from a more militaristic presence than the previous colonies. The ensuing slaughter was not on side, but Chase did not back down. Chase fought like an animal; biting, clawing in defiance of the gunfire or the blades of the soldiers, which hardly seem to phase him.

“You believe you manmade craft can harm me ? Fire upon us with all your fury! It is the power of God that keeps me alive, and it will be that very power that devours you!” He would boast over the sound of gun and cannon-fire.

The men in his army where slaughtered like they were nothing, but the monsters either fled, or were defiant and devoured who they could get their hands on. As Chase was making his way to a large house where the gold was supposed to be kept. And it was in this chaos, I had a moment of clarity.

Normally my hunger was what controlled me on these raids, but something caught my attention. For the first time in these expeditions, my mind was on something else other than satisfying my hunger, but when I saw Chase entering the house, my mind was clear. I had a number of human emotions flow through me at once as I see two small children flee from me, but the strongest among them was vengeance against my tormentor.

I follow Chase into the house, and up a flight of stairs, into a room where I find him standing over the bodies of several people; some soldiers, others not as he stared down at a chest, a size too large for one man to carry.

He turns to me and begins barking orders like he still has control over me. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was actually saying, but the arrogance in his voice rang in my ears and the scent of blood flared in my nose.

Barley thinking about it, I run forward, lunge and push him into the wall, where I bite down onto his neck, his shoulder and his face. I tried my best to hurt him while he was still surprised, letting my thirst for blood take over. Before I knew it, Chase started to fight back, grabbing me by the neck, and threw me into the wall, and pinned me down.

“If this is you’re response to being ordered to carry something, you might prove to be far too insubordinate a soldier.” He spat at me. I spat back at him, grabbed him by the head, and tried to stick my thumbs into his eyes.

A pretty stupid idea in retrospect as he threw me towards the balcony door, picked me up and lifted me over the balcony and dropped me down. That wasn’t what put me out; what did was a soldier advancing on me with a rifle. I couldn’t fight back, and probably wouldn’t now that I had the presence of mind.

I saw a flash of light and smoke, and felt a burning sting in my chest and out my back. For a long time, I could not guess, I was surrounded by darkness. That and the faces and voices of those taken by these raids.

If it was Hell, or a dream, I did not know, but I did know that the blood on Chase’s hands was also on mine. The men, women, everyone that was reduced to dead flesh and pools of blood for the holy ones, stood before me and stared at me in judgment.

There were no words that were said or could be said. To them I was another one of these monster, and they were right. I was a weak excuse of a man. If I wasn’t weak for not standing up and killing Chase years ago, I was weak for letting Mahalia’s life be the prize. I wasn’t a boy, but I was hardly a man. What else could I be ?

But what ever the case is, I awoke being carried. It was the middle of the night when I awoke, to see a large heap of rubble and smoke in the distance, as I was being carried over someone’s shoulder.

I was drifting in and out of consciousness throughout the night. I found myself counting the faces and the trees all the while. I eventually fell into an exhausted oblivion, and I woke up what had to have been the next day to quite the sight.

I was in what had to have been a crude tribe. There where bundles of logs, branches and bushes, forming what resembled the huts and tents of the tribes. Some where put in the trees. I was tied to a tree trunk, with vines wrapped around my wrists.

This was the second or third thing I noticed. The first thing I noticed was I was surrounded by the Forest People. They appeared in different ages and sizes. Many going about their business, whatever that may be, others staring at me in curiosity.

And staring me down was none other than the silver haired beast giving Chase’s followers nightmares and grief for the last few months; Big John himself. Seeing him this close shown me that his hair colour was a sign of age, and the way he was shooing away the other ones that where trying to get a closer look at me, told me he was in charge of things.

I didn’t know what to make of this at first. Mahalia always taught me that they were intelligent, capable or reason and were generally not dangerous. At the same time, she taught me they were not always friendly, and to never underestimate them, no matter how docile. And if there was one thing Big John shown me, they could scare even the other monsters into backing down.

He was staring down at me, with a look of stern caution on his face, speaking a language I did not know at me and the other of these people. Shortly later, someone else emerged from one of the huts. She was wearing clothes from bear fur, resembling a dress or robe, black bird feathers braided into her hair, but even with her new face paint, I recognized her immediately.

“Mahalia ?” I ask her, again and again, as she looks at me and back at Big John. I made to mistake of trying to call out to her while she and the grey furred man were speaking their language, and got a snarl from John. Mahalia looks at me with a weak smile, before she walks up to me and looks me in the eye.

Now that we were face to face for the first time in three years, I couldn’t bring the words to her. I didn’t know what I could or should say, and she was the one to break the silence when she pulls me into a hug.

“You have know idea how scared I was.” She said.

“You were scared ? I don’t blame you. I’ve been having the same nightmare for years, and I think I am still having it. I feel like this had happened to me before”

She puts her mouth on mine and asked me “Does it feel real now ?”

“I usually wake up after this part. But that makes it worse.” I say to her, letting all my feelings mingle and remind me I am still human “That means everything I did was real.”

I stare at her as I begin “Mahalia,” I cannot find the words to confess to you, so I am just going to let it all out “I am a murderer. For the past three years I have been part of Greeshawn Chase’s band of devils, and with them I have innocent blood on my hands. I fed on people, Mahalia. I don’t know why but for years now I felt a hunger, and feeding it made me stronger. It made me something less human.” I turn my head from her, unable to look her in the eye.

Mahalia didn’t say anything for a minute, before she took my chin and made me face her “I know what you did,” she whispers to me “But I know who you are, and I know what Chase is. I do not hold the crimes of a tyrant against their slave.” She presses the mark on my forehead

I begin to ask her how she knows this but she was already answering my question “I have seen what Chase has been doing. I knew for years what he did to your home, our friends, and his people. I also know what he has been doing. I answered my father’s call, for he wanted to protect me,” she gestures to Big John.

“That is why you left ? Why didn’t you warn us ?” I ask her accusingly.

Big John began making noises, as if he was trying to make words, but I couldn’t make sense of it.

“Because I couldn’t protect you. I’m only human, you’re only human. There was nothing we could have done alone.” She explains to me.

I could understand that but I still felt I needed answers “You know what Chase has been saying of you ? He’s been telling our people that you were some sort of witch, that was copulating with the miners and giving birth to monsters. He’s been telling our people that you were some sort of harpy who brought a plague to the land.”

Mahalia stares at me for a moment before she breaks down laughing. But as she did this, Big John roars fiercely as he tears a branch from a nearby tree and swings it onto the trunk with such force that it burst into splinters. Mahalia and I flinch at this.

“My father doesn’t think it’s too funny.” Mahalia says.

“He can understand us ?” I ask her nervously.

“He is one of the wisest creatures to walk this land, it was his wisdom that saved my people’s children from Chase’s hunting party. He knows human languages, he just doesn’t speak them.” She answers.

“So your father, he knew what Chase was going to do ?”

“My father has been fighting Chase’s army for as long as they’ve been picking off of others. You should know that, you’ve been witnessing his work.”

I thought back to all I have seen Big John doing to Chase’s followers, and considering what became of those who ended up in his clutches. I thought at the time that I was next to be executed.

“I’m next am I ?” I said, letting what I can only call a calm fear wash over me and speak for me.

“For what ?”

“We’ve been calling your father Big John for some time. Chase’s boys named after the bapist for how he’d drown those he catches.” I explain to her.

“My father can be ruthless towards his enemies and those who hurt others for greed and joy on his land. Examples must be made. But you ? As far as he’s concerned, you’re just barely one of us.” Mahalia points to my forehead, pressing down on the mark Chase burnt into it “This isn’t the real you.” She pulls down my sleeve to reveal my shoulder, specifically the bite mark she left on me years ago “This is the real you. The one I got to know and gave myself too. I marked you first Jaralath Caulfield, that makes you mine; and you marked me first and thus I am yours. In my clans eyes, we are family, and we are to protect eachother. Who do you think sent my father to seek you out ?”

She pulls her own sleeve down her shoulder, revealing the bite mark on her own shoulder.

“Of course,” she continues “There is still much for you know. My father will teach you tonight. Now, we must rest.”

I couldn’t tell if we were to tired to sleep or too excited. We simply lied together throughout the day, still under the tree. We spent the day talking about everything and nothing. Really, there was not much to talk about when you wanted to avoid an ugly subject. Most of the time we were reminding eachother that this wasn’t a dream. At one point I questioned what she meant that I was “barely” part of the clan in her father’s eye.

That night, the Forest People took me to their cave, and the younger ones ventured deeper into those caves. A fire was set in a large pocket, the oldest gathered around and set me and Mahalia down. And none other than Big John himself looking out suspiciously at the mouth of the cave and back to me.

“Your father, pretty observant fellow I see.” I remark to her.

“Blood or not, he is a protector to those he considers his clan. And with the Gugwe and Genoskwa, even the giants fallen under the thrall of Greeshawn Chase, all the more reasons for him to be protective.” She gestures to a cave wall illuminated by the flames “He has lived long enough to see many clans fall. We are the last of the great clans, and without them, the strength and wisdom he acquired over the years would have been wasted.”

As she says this, Big John takes his seat just behind us, staring us both down with caution in his eyes. I still call him Big John, because I cannot possibly put the name given to me in writing. I don’t think I could pronounce it properly.

He began to speak in his language, as he gestured to the marks, and drawings on the caves walls. I couldn’t make a lick of it and Mahalia caught on.

“I could translate if you like, or I could just teach you our language if you have the patience.”

I wave off her offer “Translation will have to do. I don’t need no education.”

I hear Big John vocalize something towards me, which Mahalia immediately replies “Apparently you do, you have used a double negative.”

From then on, Mahalia began to explain to me what Big John has been trying “I already told you of how there was a time man and beast lived in harmony. I told you of the Devourer stole that harmony and made a mockery of it. By it’s seed and whispers, the Tainted were born. I told you, how it was by man and beast coming together in violence that his hold on the land disappeared.”

“Was there something I have missed ?” I asked.

“The Devourer is as tall as the sky and as vast as the sea. And the war with him brought a flood upon us all.” Mahalia translates her father’s answer.

“Flood stories ? Where have I heard this story before ?”

Big John grunts and Mahalia speaks “How does an ocean of blood sound to you ?” Big John gestures to the trees painted on the walls and continues speaking, and Mahalia spoke with him “Water goes into the ground, and from it trees grow, life grows. Did you know our bodies live by water as much as they do by blood ? Blood spills into the ground, from it the Devourer feeds. The Devourer grows and spreads, just like a tree.”

“How do you come to know this ?”

“You know the stories of how my clan and their people walk with one foot in this world and another in the spirit world ?” Mahalia answers me “That is a half truth. Only those who live long enough, who have the wisdom and power to do so, walk that path. It happens every generation, but only to one child. But none of my father’s blood children have inherited this, nor his grandchildren or their children.”

She continues telling the story her father tries to tell “It had to have been centuries ago. The time of his grandfather’s grandfathers, that blood flowed across the lands and seas, and the world reshaped in the Devourer’s twisted image. And that blood drew in the others. The Deathless they were called. Benjamin Chase’s people were not the first white men to come to this land.”

He points at another cave painting, showing a large dark mass being beset by smaller darker creatures.

“They were the Deathless, for death failed to claim them and they lived off the lifeblood of others and started to steal the Devourers’ fill. At first there were two who came to our aid, and they began to spawn others. An army. These were creatures the Devourer began to hate for it wished to master life, and they lived beyond death, and thus outside it’s control. They lived by taking from it what it took from others. Their very existence defied it, and so the races fought throughout this land until the numbers dwindled on all sides.”

The next image he points too shown me a land, rivers, lakes and mountains smeared in red “The Devourer didn’t die, because a spirit cannot die. It simply became weak, and buried within the earth. For a creature that thinks nothing of building kingdoms on the blood it drains of others, it sure doesn’t like when other creatures drain blood from it. The Deathless also disappeared, but we knew they still lived and walked among us, as their descendants are here.”

At this point Big John points at me and makes more noises, with Mahalia conveying what he’s saying “And you boy-Jaralath, are one of them.”

I wished I could be surprised but after the past few years, everything I did and went through, I couldn’t question it. It explained too much that I was already curious about, I couldn’t even think of a question, except for one.

“You mean to say that this is why I am not human anymore ?” I ask John hesitantly, knowing I probably wouldn’t understand his answer.

Once again Mahalia helps provide his answer “You know what it is to be “human” ? It means the ability to love, feel empathy, remorse, compassion. It is not your shape or what’s in your blood. Humanity is not something of flesh or blood, it is something that is in the spirit. In your heart. What you are is like a sickness, a part of who you are, but not all that you are. This is something the Devourer sees that in you, and wants nothing more to twist it into something else. Something in it’s image. Same as it did with the Gugwe, same as it did with the Genoskwa, same as it does to humans. The Deathless are a reminder of it’s old defeat, and so it must taint them, as it tried to taint you.”

“You mean it has tainted me,” I object to them “The past three years, I have blood on my hands. Blood from innocent people, all for some fools “holy war”, how am I not like those creatures ?”

“Because you tried to fight them, and run for them,” Mahalia answers me, this time not speaking for her father “You rejected Chase at every turn and so rejected the Devourer. I see and know the real you, and I see what makes and keeps you human.”

“Mahalia,” I address her this time “Do you know why I did what I did ? I did it for a very selfish and petty reason – I was looking for you.”

There was a quick pause before I continue trying to read her features “I am not gonna say I didn’t have a choice in the matter, because I did. Chase start this expedition, was to find the snake in his garden; he was referring to you. He told me, if I were to find you first, I would decided your fate. Neither he nor his followers would have spared you.”

Mahalia is silent for a moment staring into the fire before she turns back to face me “You did what you did, because you wanted to save me ?” she asks me stoically.

“Yes, I did.” I answer her, looking around at her families faces. Their expression were harder to read.

“You fought tooth and nail to find me, you fought with and against Chase, as he killed countless innocent people.” She says to me not breaking her expression or tone of voice.

“I estimated it had to be hundreds.” I nod “And I was there for every person young and old, who died at his army! An army I was a part of an battles I was complicate with! I wouldn’t blame your father if he wanted to drown me!”

Mahalia leans towards me, still stoic in expression and voice “Do you know why I gave myself to you, Jaralath Caulfield ? Why I picked you ?”

I spent a moment trying to find the words. What answer would be suitable ? Would an answer be suitable ? Should I begin apologizing for the monster I have become ? Would any apology be enough ?

Mahalia once again breaks the silence “I know who you really are Jaralath,” she brushes my forehead “I said, these marks, these scars, these are not the real you. These are only what Chase inflicted upon you. The real you is in your eyes. Do you know what I see in them ?” Mahalia grabs my head and forces me to look her in the eye “Buried innocence.”

She continues as she brushes something from my eye “I saw you were like me; an innocent child forced into the wilderness, living among the animals, having to survive off the land and grow before their time. By attempts of religious indoctrination, and bullying by Greeshawn Chase, on top of unfavourable encounters with the tainted ones, the boy was buried, but he is not dead. For he is the Deathless. That is the real you, not the monster the Devourer scarred in its image.”

I once again couldn’t find the words, but I won’t lie when I say a lot of emotion poured over me and out of me. I wasn’t the monster Chase made me. I wasn’t the monster they say I am, but the pain I inflicted remains. I have been told love was supposed to be a healer, that was one of the few lessons stuck to me when Benjamin Chase was in charge, and Angelica Chase reminded me of what it was like to have a mother. But it didn’t feel like it was healing me.

“There he is,” Mahalia says again pulling me close to her “The real you is reborn. The you I fell in love with.”

“Was that supposed to make me feel better ?” I ask as I hear Big John speaking to me again.

Mahalia speaks for him “The healing begins as we strip the Devourer’s influence from this land, but we need an army to fight an army. Your weapons, and their master, are too strong for us to stand against. The first war was one with the deathless, and even so, it took more than one. And it all starts with you boy,” she stops herself “Jaralath. It is to show you your humanity is not a weakness, but your strength. Thus, we are to make your humanity stronger, prove that the Devourer is the weak one.”

“And we are to take the fight to Chase himself.” I nod again.

Big John’s bellows and dismissively waves, Mahalia once again translating what he says “The one you call Chase is simply the latest king the Devourer put on it’s many thrones. It doesn’t walk with a foot in this world. It exists on a different plane, and cannot be killed as a beast can. At least not by anything of this world. We can only weaken it’s link, and to do that, you must look in.”

Big John stands me up and walks me to the caves entrance, and Mahalia follows us. Mahalia inhales “Do you smell that ? That is the ocean. There is a settlement untouched by the tainted. We believe that Chase hasn’t found it, and likely won’t. There’s nothing of worth to him, the white people use it to trade and travel off this land.”

“A docking village.” I nod. They make their living off of fishing and trade. No doubt they haven’t heared from Awesiaki in years.

“It is there, you will rebuild yourself, show that what they thought as weak is in fact your strength. And in time, the time of the Devourer’s hold on this land will end.” Mahalia once again speaks for her father “As we have planned for years.”

“We ?”

“Did you really think my families people, and the deathless ones were the only ones to fight the tainted ? I told you before Jaralath Caulfield, it was man and beast coming together in violence. A friend of yours has been very concerned for you.” Mahalia gestures at a clearing, just off the edge of her clans village.

Standing just outside the moonlight stood my life long friend Arf, his fur a little grey in his old age, but still has enough red to let me know it’s him. I walk down to the clearing and stare him down.

“Good evening mate,” I crouch down at Arf, who stares back at me. “If I’d know I’d be seeing you, I would have made an effort to cover this up.” I gesture to my forehead. Arf barks back to me “Don’t be to hard on yourself mate, the grey really brings out your age.”

I was petting Arf on the head I noticed multiple eyes watching me from the trees; not just wolves, but bears, elk, foxes, moose. Just about any animal that hunts or has been hunted on this land, watching us all from the forest.

I turn to Mahalia “Just what exactly does your father have in mind ?”

And so according to plan, I found the seaside village. Of course, I couldn’t just go out and about with the face local legends been described as “The Bloodletter”, so I was to wear a hat and kerchief across my face. I settled in as a docking merchant for some time. I went by my name, it’s not like it was as well known.

To them I was just a hermit doing what he could to make a living. From what I gathered, Chase’s army, or the Wild Hunters some call them haven’t reached this territory, and regarded as little more than hearsay. I kept an open ear to see where Greeshawn and his “men” strike next. But I was to do nothing to blow my cover.

My mission was to gather as many people as I could for a our expedition to Awesiaki, and if necessary, see who I can bring under the banner of the Deathless.

That was by day, by night I return to a hut I set up in the woods, Mahalia always waiting for me. We savored these moments with her while we could, because in war, they could not last forever.