Chapter 26

Isamu doesn’t look at Yuki at first. His shoulders are tight, hands clasped together like he’s bracing for impact.

When he continues speaking, his voice is low and uneven, as if every word has to be dragged out of him.

“I.. I lost control.” He exhales sharply through his nose, and shakes his head. “I was scared. Not just nervous.. but terrified.”

His fingers curl into his palm, nails biting into skin.

He keeps talking, but his eyes never quite meet Yuki’s, flicking down and to the side as if he can still see it playing out there.

“I thought.. I thought if I didn’t kill her, I’d be the one dying. By her father’s hands. Like she said.” His jaw tightens, teeth grinding for a second.

“That was all that was in my head. Kill or be killed. I wasn’t thinking about right or wrong, just.. survival.”

His gaze flickers up to Yuki for half a second, then he looks away again, shame creeping into his posture.

“I’m not going into details,” he says quietly. “But.. at some point, I broke her neck.”

The words sit between them, ugly and final. Isamu doesn’t look up. His breathing is shallow now.

“Her body went limp,” he continues, voice barely above a murmur. “That’s when it hit me. That’s when I came back to myself and realized what.. I’d done. She was still conscious. I didn’t know what to do. I thought about running. But then I realized if I did that.. that would definitely mean my death.”

The silence stretches between them before Isamu reaches into his pocket. He pulls out his phone and unlocks it, then turns the screen toward Yuki.

“This,” he says quietly, “is what saved me.”

A video is paused on the screen. He doesn’t explain what’s in it right away.

“I found it on her phone,” he continues. “Someone had been blackmailing her with it.” His mouth twists. “So.. I used it too.”

His grip tightens around the phone.

“She’s kept her mouth shut so far. I visited her after her surgery in the hospital, to make sure she still remembers. She does.” 

Only then does he look at Yuki.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t keep it inside anymore. I had to tell someone, because if I didn’t.. I think I’d go insane. And you’re the only person I could trust with this..”

His eyes search her face cautiously, like he’s bracing for a blow.

There’s something defensive in his gaze, but beneath it sits a raw, exposed need for understanding, or at least confirmation that she hasn’t already condemned him.

Finally, in a small, tense voice, he asks: “Are you.. going to call the police?”

Yuki doesn’t flinch.

Her lips part slightly, as if she might speak, but she doesn’t. Instead, her gaze drops briefly to the phone in his hand and then returns to his face. 

“No. But can I see the video?” she eventually asks. “I need to check something..”

The question catches Isamu off guard.

For a split second, he just stares at her, as if he’s misheard. Then a short, incredulous breath leaves him.

“..That’s it?” he says. “That’s what you’re asking?”

There’s a pause.

“I literally just told you I almost killed a person and you..” He trails off, then searches her face again, trying to prompt the reaction he expected. 

“Aren’t you scared of me?” he asks finally. “Or at least.. I don’t know.. shaken?”

His tone sharpens a little, not aggressive, just unsettled. “You’re too calm. Does none of that bother you? Or are you just pretending it doesn’t?”

“You were cornered, Isamu. If I were you, I would’ve done exactly the same,” Yuki says slowly, “Or maybe.. even worse.”

She looks at him.

“So, no. I’m not scared of you, but.. I’m scared of people who can do cruel things and never feel bad about it. People who hurt others and don’t lose sleep. Who watch someone almost die and feel nothing―or worse, feel proud. People who don’t carry it with them afterward. Like Mei. That kind of emptiness is what terrifies me.” 

She gestures faintly toward him. “You were scared. You were cornered.” Then her hand drops.

“She wasn’t. She chose it. All the shit she put me through.. and many others.”

Her voice lowers. “If anything.. good. Good that you did it. She deserved it. Every last thing she’s done, every ounce of pain she caused, she deserved to feel a fraction of it. She walked around thinking she was untouchable, thinking she could ruin people and smile while the world looked the other way. She needed to learn. Maybe not like that, but.. she needed a reminder that monsters don’t go unpunished forever.”

Isamu stares at her for a long moment, his eyes wide, unblinking.

“You.. really mean that?” he finally asks. “You’re not just.. saying it to make me feel better, right?”

Yuki doesn’t look away. She reaches out and lightly takes his hand in hers, squeezing it once. “I mean it. I really do,” she says softly. 

Isamu stares at her for a long moment, unblinking, as if trying to read every nuance of her expression. There’s a flicker of something like hope, quickly shadowed by the weight of guilt pressing down on him.

Slowly, his eyes drop to the floor, shoulders slumping. 

“I’m so sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry I didn’t know what she was putting you through. I didn’t know when she was doing all of that.. when she made you lie and cut your hair. Or what she did to Madi. I had no idea how much you suffered, and I..”

His voice cracks, and he looks down, ashamed. “I should have known something like that was happening, and I didn’t. I wasn’t there. I didn’t notice..”

He swallows hard, as if the words themselves are too heavy. “I’m sorry, I’m just.. so dumb,” he murmurs, his voice almost shaking. “Really dumb.. and blind. Always have been..”

Hearing it again now, in his own voice, twists inside him, but this time, he doesn’t fight it. There’s no anger left in the word, no attempt to argue it away.

It settles instead, heavy and familiar.

Yuki watches him quietly, and her chest tightens. For a second she can’t speak, because she sees it now, the way he’s turning everything inward, stacking the blame on himself. 

Her eyes sting, and before she can stop herself she tightens her grip on his hand, harder than before.

“Hey, stop that. It’s not your fault,” she says sharply. “You said it yourself; you were using her to forget me. So of course you missed things. You were literally avoiding me, trying to move on. No one told you, either. And Mei.. she was being very careful. She always made sure you wouldn’t see what she was doing. How could you have known?”

Her voice drops, quieter. “Besides, it’s a good thing you didn’t know back then. Because if you had, you wouldn’t have dated her. And if you hadn’t, she would’ve done the same thing to you that she did to Kenji.”

Isamu meets her gaze slowly, guilt still etched into his face, but something fragile and relieved beginning to show through.

She squeezes his hand again, gentler now. “Don’t you dare blame yourself again, you hear me?” she says firmly. “It’s not on you. Mei is the one who caused all of this.”

Isamu swallows hard, his fingers tightening around hers.

Yuki holds his hand a little firmer in return. “And don’t call yourself dumb, either. You’re way smarter than me,” she adds.

“If you call yourself that, you’re insulting me too.” She looks at him with a teasing sparkle in her eyes, half-amused and half-serious, daring him to argue.

Isamu lets out a short, breathless laugh, the tension in his chest easing as he meets her gaze. A faint, grateful smile spreads across his face.

“Thank you,Yuki,” he murmurs, his voice soft and a little shaky. “Really..”

Yuki smiles at him, and the warmth in her expression seems to reach him. The longer he looks at her, the more his expression softens. His shoulders relax, and a quiet vulnerability surfaces in his features.

After a long pause, he swallows and finally admits, almost in a whisper, “I’ve missed you.”

Yuki freezes for a moment, and her hand tightens unconsciously around his.

A soft pink spreads across her cheeks as her heart races, and she looks down at their intertwined hands, then back up at him, eyes wide and shimmering.

After a beat, she exhales shakily and whispers, “I.. I’ve missed you too.”

Isamu’s eyes widen slightly, before a soft, relieved smile spreads across his face. His thumb begins to rub the back of her hand, and a faint blush colors his cheeks as well.

But then, almost abruptly, he pulls back.

His gaze drops to the floor, his shoulders slumping, and the lightness that had been in his expression vanishes entirely.
 
  
TO BE CONTINUED…