Chapter 3 – I promise you that none of this was my fault

Before I even start, I would like to make one thing clear: None of this was my fault. With that in mind, I’ll start from the beginning.

After nearly killing an elderly man by tripping into his rib cage, I was assigned to my permanent home: Ricochet, home of the Palmers. Walking into this little corner of heaven was quite the experience, meeting new friends and getting my first job in Artemis.

Remember, this isn’t my fault, right? Ok, anyway.

Ricochet is the closest section of Artemis to the surface, housing half a dozen specialists from around the world. It had all the bells and whistles of any secret operation: a massive garage with a training course, dozens of vehicles ranging from futuristic to ridiculous, an equipment warehouse and a broken vending machine (Lost five bucks and counting). Despite how amazing the place was, the kitchenette was cheap and the Wi-Fi terrible, slight dampers that left me in a sour mood. My room was quite nice, a bed, bookshelf, and closet to keep what little belongings I had. I wouldn’t spend much time here though, as this was no ordinary desk job. I left my bags and clothed in my choice of adventuring garb. Tan long sleeve shirt with sleeves rolled up, brown pants, brown boots, pink fanny pack (Just kidding), and a vest on top to keep things classy (Not kidding).

It was during this time I was introduced to some of the crew, a handful of people whose lives would lay directly in my hands.

There was Sailor from the United States, a man who always sported a red ribbon about his waist who assisted with the team’s security; Doctor Bronwyn, a red-haired Scottish woman who supported as the team’s resident scientist; Rahim of India assisted as a fantastic cook, Annika of South Africa for tech support and finally the leader herself: June’s Song of Japan. Each was equipped with the best gear known to man, prepared for anything that could happen beyond our earthly state. Yours truly was tasked with being the team’s medic (Perhaps a mistake, but they still chose to hire me regardless)

Naturally I got along quite well with the crew, especially Rahim since he gave me a bag of pretzels. With my hunger sated, we prepared for our first expedition into the unknown. We would enter the mirror, look around, collect samples then return. It would be simple and ultimately harmless, becoming the first people ever to travel through reality. I thought that would be pretty neat, as I was to be the second right behind June’s Song.

As we approached the mirror, the same aura of despair pulsed through our veins. The tingling sensation of terror flowed with an odd sound, an almost musical melody that floated from the two pillars at either side of the mirror. I glimpsed carvings that must have dated from the stone age, carvings of figures and beings traveling the realms.

Speaking of the stone age, I never talked about the Librarian! Mean old lady, runs the library where I am now writing. You see, they want us to write using monitored computers, yet despite the project’s budget the internet is flaky and the computer resembles a cardboard box rather than a piece of hardware. I first met the Librarian quite by accident, as I thought my headphones were plugged in as I bobbed with some fire music. She grabbed my chair with the strength of a lion, spilling me to the floor before screaming in some language I didn’t recognize. How she knew I was making a ruckus I will never know, as she is completely deaf… Actually, now that I think about it, she simply doesn’t have any ears. The skin is completely flat where her ears should be, and she also has no eyelids. She also smells like rotten flesh and doesn’t have any lips. I don’t want to sound negative or anything, as I’m sure she has a great personality, but I could have sworn she resembled a troll that stomped on villages for a hobby.

Anyways, there we were, about to make history.

Oh wait, the deer, I forgot to mention the deer! Yes, I did see that deer again. It was actually in the library as well, about a week after my first encounter with the librarian. She was watching me like usual (She doesn’t really have a choice, as she has no eyelids and I’m the only one who ever uses the library… which is weird, but I can’t recall anyone else using it or even mentioning it. I just kinda found it… how the heck did I even find it in the first place?) I was trying to order a pack of colored pencils for an art project I was working on when I heard someone’s voice. Once again, I’m the only one who uses the library, so I was pretty confused. I removed myself from the chair, moved past the now growling librarian, and wandered into the bookshelves.

It was dark back there, darker than sun by a large margin. Flickering lights cast shadows on every surface, seeming to hide something that shifted towards the back wall. I walked cautiously, my teeth practically chattering as I neared the thing. My eyes skirted volumes of forgotten lore, ancient diary’s and a massive tome to find the being in question. My eyes failed to adjust, only hinting at the monstrosity that lay before me.

The light flickered, and there it was.

The deer was hopping on one leg.

I prefer not to write what I screamed, but it was altogether not pleasant and clearly hurt the creature’s feelings. It hopped away, leaving me alone in that dark corner with the librarian. I hadn’t noticed her, but she had followed me the entire time, quite literally breathing down my neck.

Sorry, back to the mirror.

We paused before the mirror, June’s Song beginning a speech very reminiscent of the moon landing.

“This is an even greater leap for humanity.” She had begun, “than any previous mission in recorded history. Our actions will lead to….”

It was mostly touching and quite inspiring, but beneath the words and the horrible sense of dread, I felt like something was missing. I patted my pant legs, trying to hide my discomfort as I pulled each of my pockets inside out. I was emptying my left pocket when the deer appeared out of nowhere, silently sauntering past my side DIRECTLY INTO THE MIRROR. I froze, my mouth wide open as I watched the creature appear on the other side, becoming the first being ever to cross dimensions (On all fours for a change)

Here we were, about to be the first to ever cross realities, and the flipping deer beat us to the punch.

I was mad, once again saying things I will not write here, and threw myself after the thing. I planned on tackling the deer, but the deer was obviously faster. He ducked past my feeble attempt as I landed inside the alternate world, turning around before baaing like a goat. He clapped his two front hooves together and began hopping on a single foot away from sight.

“GET BACK HERE YOU (I’ll let you use your imagination)”

So long story short, I became the first human being to ever cross realities, and it totally wasn’t my fault. June’s Song refused to speak to me for the rest of the mission (Besides a very detailed death threat), and Symphony Garff wasn’t happy either (Still just as beautiful, still just as scary). The only person who seemed somewhat unfazed with the incident was Doctor Bronwyn, but whatever comfort she tried to offer me was hidden under her thick highland accent. Despite her speaking English, I literally had no idea what she said.

Anyways, the Librarian is growling again, so I think my time is up. I promise I’ll describe the other reality, but I just needed to get that off my chest. I just needed people to know that It wasn’t my fault; it was the deer’s. No one believes me, but I know that hopping fiend is a threat to humanity and could destroy everything we ever worked for. If I ever see that four-legged antler-wearing black nosed deer again, I’ll probably scream.

Update: I screamed