Chapter 14

“I was the wolf
who forgot how to bite,
just howled at her name
until it stopped echoing back.

She was the moon,
and I…
I was always more ruin
than night.“

Nathan’s POV

Her taste still clung to my lips, her yes ricocheting in my skull, over and over again.

I should’ve felt victorious, but I didn’t. This was something else; this was a feeling I was not quite familiar with, something I had no name for. A weight. A fever. A sickness.

The bridge was behind us still, the river whispering beneath our feet, the city dissolving into absolute silence. Yet she was everywhere, on my tongue, in my hands, carved beneath my ribs. And I knew, with the certainty of a curse, I’d never be clean of her.

I never wanted to.

Rome could crumble tonight, the world could burn, and I’d still be here, staring at the girl who makes me forget that endings are inevitable, that every fire must die out.

I don’t know fear, not in the ordinary sense. But this…this feels like the first time it’s ever wrapped its hands around my throat.

I brushed my thumb over her cheek, tilting my head as I drank her in. She was such a vision under the moonlight. Her eyes glinted and her face carried a distinctive glow. God, she really was the moon, and I was the wolf doomed to howl for it, knowing I’d never have enough.

“What made you say yes?” I asked because I needed it named.

Her eyebrows drew together, “Should there be a reason?” she said.

“Yes,” I said. “And I need to know yours.”

She turned her head slightly, looking away from me, sighing as she watched the river take the moon and fold it into itself. She gazed at the scene for a long moment before she granted me the answer, “When I was with him, I loved him to the point that I stopped loving myself,” She said, her words a faint whisper in the calm night, “I lost sense of my dignity, my pride, and even my self-worth.”

She looked back at me and met my eyes with that green that kept shifting, “But with you, I am learning to love myself again, and I really like that,” She said, “So, that’s my reason.” 

I should’ve felt righteous, vindicated, but all I felt was hunger. Hunger for more of her, for all of her, until there was nothing left she could give anyone but me.

“But I am not giving you back to yourself, princess,” I murmured, my eyebrows pulling slightly closer, because I wasn’t the cure here, “You might think so, but every piece of you that you find is only mine to keep.”

Instead of running for the hills like any sane person would, this wicked princess of mine smiled, then she shook her head like my words held no threat. See, this dares-me look is why I was severely obsessed with her. She doesn’t just survive my darkness; no, she flirts with it back. God, I really believe that she is just messed up in the head as I am.

She brought her hand up and brushed my hair, those few stubborn strands that fell over my forehead, “You’re gonna get bored of this, Nathan, one day soon, you will, I am sure.” Bored of her? Not a chance, the thought was laughable and obscene.

“Till then, let’s enjoy this, for as long as it lasts,” She added. 

Then, she tiptoed and pecked my lips, so fucking softly I nearly groaned, “Come back with me to the hotel?” She whispered against my lips, an invitation I could never deny.

“Better yet,” I slid my arm around her waist and drew her hard to me, “You’re coming with me.”

I kissed those sinful lips once more, then eased back and pulled my phone. I dialed Adam’s number quickly, and once he picked up, I ordered fast, “Bring the car.”

Aylin’s brows pulled closer. “Where are we going?”

“Someplace nice,” I answered with a wink.

It took Adam less than five minutes to pull up, the headlights cutting through the quiet street. I guided Aylin forward, my arm still clinging to her waist, but something felt weird, something pricked at me, it scratched at the base of my neck, like an itch, a shift, something that was not right, just…wrong.

I turned my head slowly, scanning the streets, the corners, and the shadows bleeding between the buildings. There was nothing out of the ordinary, but I knew too well the feeling of being watched and followed. Someone was lurking, I could taste it in the air. I’d welcome it on any other night. Let them come, let them chase me down, it would be a sport, a thrill even.

But not with her here, not with my princess at my side. Tonight was mine, hers, and not theirs to touch.

Adam climbed out of the driver’s seat, his eyes meeting mine like he’d already heard my inner thoughts. The kid was still too young for the ghosts he carried, but he was the only one I had left, the only one I trusted enough, especially after everything that had happened with Alastor.

I opened the door for Aylin, her puzzled gaze fell on Adam, trying to figure out where he fits into my life, before she slipped inside. I circled back to him, lowering my voice, “Keep your eyes open,” I ordered, “Something feels off.”

Adam’s jaw flexed. His gaze swept the street once more before he gave me a single, tight nod. “Understood.”

That was enough, I knew he’d take care of whatever it was. I slid in beside her, shut the night out, and took the wheel. The engine purred alive, the city falling away as I drove her toward a place where I could keep her, claim her, away from anyone else’s reach.

An hour’s drive later, the car rolled to a stop, gravel crunching beneath the tires. Ahead of us, the cabin stood alone on its hill, far away from everyone and everything, just like I loved.

The cabin wasn’t exactly modern, no, it was old, ancient even, weathered wood and sharp lines, a place that had withstood storms and stayed still despite time. Behind it was my favorite view, where the sea stretched wide, seemingly endless, those restless waves colliding against the cliffs below.

A deck curled around the cabin’s back, and from it, the pool stretched out toward the horizon, wide and deep, as if it wanted to pour itself into the ocean below.

I’ve been here multiple times before, another one of Isaac’s properties passed down to me, but something about this place in particular was different. I still remember the days he’d bring me here, all the Christmas nights, and the summer vacations.

But after he died, whenever I’d come here, it wouldn’t feel the same. It’d feel lonely. Usually, I love lonely, but just not in here.

I glanced at Aylin as she went down, her eyes drinking it all in, the glow of the night painting her face. She looked like she belonged here, like the sea and the shadows had been holding their breath, waiting for her. Like everything in my life was just waiting for her, in order to make sense again.

I moved down beside her, silent as I let her soak it in. She turned to me, awe spilling from her lips and eyes, “This is yours?”

I nodded, “Kind of,” I murmured, leading her forward, deeper, over invisible boundaries.

When we reached the back, Aylin breathed it all in, the way the horizon opened up to the sea, the cliff, and all the violent beauty. “It’s going to be hard not to fall in love with this city,” she whispered, the wind tangling her hair into wild strands, wrapping the night around her like it wanted to keep her, or take her away from me.

God, this is unreal. She is real, right? I haven’t reached that delusional state where I imagine people and conjure them up, right? She had to be real. But god, look at her, how can she be real?

I kept gazing at her, watching the way her blonde locks flew around her face, moonlight catching in her eyes until they burned and shimmered green fire. They were so alive, and I’ve never been grateful to not have died up till now.

I was mesmerized, her pale white dress against the dark, her body, her face, her hair, and that perfect scenery behind her. The cliff, the stone, the sea, and the sky felt like they were all bowing down to her.

And I just stood there, torn wide open.

I wanted to do what she did, to capture this moment and keep it forever, to bottle it up, but not with a picture, not with paint, but with words. Word, and words, and words, they wouldn’t stop. They raced and tangled in my skull, crowding me until my temples throbbed. Lines, fragments, half-formed verses choking me, demanding to be born.

God, it was a sickness. The kind that digs into bone and calls itself art. But no, it wasn’t art, it was pure torture; my head felt like it could split open, the words fighting to spill from over my tongue.

She didn’t even know…she was my disease, my muse. The reason language itself split its seams and spilled out inside me.

It was an affliction, but I never asked for a cure. I wouldn’t.

Her eyes flickered from the beauty surrounding us and fell on me, her lips curled up, her smile soft and delicate. Her brow arched up, “What?” She asked, her voice a whisper, questioning my unwavering stare.

My lips mirrored her smile, and I breathed…and my lungs didn’t ache this time around, “I am just…writing you in my head.”

She blinked, incredulous. “Writing me? In your head?”

I nodded.

She edged closer, ever so curious, “What are you writing?”

I brought my hand up, my fingers tangled with the strands of her hair as I cupped the side of her head, “How about I show you instead?” I said as I tilted her head right and crashed into the heaven of her lips like a sinner who’d finally found his altar.

I devoured the words from her mouth before she could breathe them again. Her lips were the page I’d been waiting for, her mouth the paper, and I pressed myself into it like ink desperate to bleed.

My tongue slipped in, and the verses came spilling. Each stroke a word, each graze a sentence, every clash of teeth another stanza torn open. She didn’t know it, but she was my manuscript, my confession.

God, she tasted like my favorite drug, like the ink I engrave on paper, like the sins I bury myself in. I traced her with hunger, wrote her in fever, and drafted her in want. She was every metaphor I could never contain, every verse that hurt to keep inside me.

I pushed her back. I was relentless now, all the gentleness from before long gone, my patience had worn thin. I needed her skin against my fingertips, her pulse beneath my teeth.

The cabin door caught her spine with a low thud. She gasped at the contact, and I swallowed it whole, my mouth crushing hers, my tongue pouring words she’d never read anywhere but here. She clung to me, her arms moving, wrapping around my neck, letting me devour her until nothing separated us but the air we didn’t bother breathing.

My hand slid down, found the zipper at her back. One pull, and it slipped, surrendered, and fell soundlessly to her feet.

I pressed harder into her, my tongue still writing filth and fury against hers. I kissed her like I could never stop until I’d wrung every last word, every last gasp and moan from her throat.

“Do you feel it?” I rasped against her lips, my fist tangled in her hair, gently tugging her head back, “Do you hear all the words I’m writing?”

“Hmm,” she mumbled into my mouth, and I pulled back just enough to see her, “Yes, I do.”

Moonlight bled over her skin as I held her there, half-naked, already trembling. We were outside on the deck still, but I didn’t care. There was no one within miles. This place was private, deserted, built for this, for me and her and nothing else. Peaceful, and I was more than ready to desecrate it with her.

I let go of her hair, dragging my hand down the side of her throat, over her shoulder, slipping to the clasp of her bra. One flick and it would fall. I was ready to flip her around, to ruin her, to lose myself in the way she broke and shattered for me, but—

Her hand pressed to my chest. “Wait, stop,” she whispered, breathless.

My eyes snapped to hers, taken aback.

She licked her lips, her eyes searching mine like she was trying to see deep inside. “Whenever we do this…you never take off your clothes. It’s like…” she tilted her head, “it’s like you’re scared of us getting that close, or being that intimate.”

She shook her head, “You always strip me bare, Nathan, but you stay hidden, you keep your clothes on, like a…barrier between us,” She added, her chest heaving slightly, “Maybe…maybe you think if your clothes come off, so do the walls you don’t know you have built, or maybe I’ll see something you don’t want me to.”

Her thumb brushed over my collarbone through the fabric, a gentle, devastating stroke. “You let me drown, Nathan, but you never let me swim with you,” She whispered and edged closer, getting up on her toes as she kissed my lips, so devastatingly slow that my eyelids fell shut.

“Let me,” she breathed into my mouth.

My eyes opened again, a burn flaring in my chest, something…a feeling I couldn’t name, didn’t know, and didn’t want to know. My jaw locked, and then, against everything I was, I nodded.

Her lips parted at my nod, like she hadn’t expected me to bend that fast. Hell, neither had I. But I let her.

Her fingers came up slowly, brushing the first button at my collar. My skin burned under the fabric before she’d even touched it. She unfastened one, then another, her knuckles ghosting my chest as the shirt gave way.

I should’ve stopped her. Should’ve grabbed her wrists, shoved her back, reminded her I was the one who stripped, who claimed, who owned, and not the one stripped bare. But I didn’t. I let her peel me open, for some fucked up reason.

The shirt slid from my shoulders, pooling on the deck beside her dress. The night air hit me, biting and cold, and her eyes drank me in like she’d waited for this exact moment.

She didn’t hesitate. She wasted no time and edged closer, her warm body pressed up against mine. Her hand gripped my shoulder before her mouth grazed the side of my throat. Her lips trailed lower, whispering kisses, burning a path down my neck, over my chest, till I felt them linger gently near my surgery scar. She kissed it, softly, reverently, and my head tipped back. My heart detonated, it crashed through my ribs, then hurled itself off the cliff behind us.

I didn’t know what the fuck was happening. This wasn’t us. This wasn’t how we fucked. Usually, I had the reins, always me slamming her into walls, pushing her against counters, dragging her under, fucking her filthy until she forgot her name. I’d take the lead, I’d be the one in control…but now, my control was slipping through my fingers.

She was rewriting the rules; she was the one setting the pace.

And God help me, it felt like the most dangerous, addictive thing I’d ever let happen.

Her lips trailed further down, and before I knew it, she was already on her knees. Fuck. Her hands reached for the buckle at my belt. My breath hitched as she worked it loose, slow enough to kill me, deliberate enough to remind me this wasn’t just lust.

This was fucking intimacy, the very thing I’d sworn off, the one battlefield I’d never wanted to fight on because I might lose.

I was unraveling, thread by thread.

Before I lost myself completely, I grabbed her, I leaned down just enough, my hand closing hard around her arm. I yanked her up and into me, crushing her small frame against mine. “That’s enough control for you for one day,” I ground out, my voice a low rasp. My chest heaved; I was panting, crashing, my control slipping, I didn’t fucking like it.

I crashed my mouth into hers, devoured her lips before she could speak, before she could split me further apart with words. Her moan burned against my tongue as my palm flattened against her thigh. I dragged her up into my arms like she weighed nothing, carried her to the rail, and dropped her down. The sea roared below us, the moon overhead, and I spun her around, positioning her to look at all of it…the cliff, the black water, the silver sky, as I prepared to ruin her, fuck her, the only way I knew how, raw and merciless.

My hand hooked her knickers, sliding them down, stripping her bare for me. But my stubborn princess twisted back, refusing my rules, forcing her body to turn and face mine.

“I gave you the best view,” I hissed, my hand gripping her hip. “Why aren’t you taking it?”

Her gaze burned into mine, defiant as she wrapped her arms around my neck, her lips brushing mine. “Because I want to look at you.” She pressed her mouth to mine, softer than she had any right to. “Why won’t you let me?” Her voice broke into a whisper, her body rubbing against me like she knew exactly how close I was to losing my fucking mind. “Don’t you trust me?”

I shook my head, “I trust no one,” I said as I forced my head back just far enough to meet her eyes, my hand cupping her face, my thumb grazing her cheek, “Not even you, princess.”

A look flickered in her eyes, something foreign, fragile, and didn’t belong there, but before she could let it spread, I added, “And you don’t trust me either, so let’s not play pretend.”

With her arms around my neck, her fingers slid into my hair, stroking the back of my head, slow and maddening. Why was she doing this, touching me more than I am allowing her to?

“I’m here,” she whispered, “In a foreign country. In the middle of nowhere. With you. If that’s not trust, tell me what it is.”

I shook my head, leaned in, and stole a soft kiss just to spite her. “That’s not what I’m talking about.” My voice was low, “I’m talking about that one thing you never told anyone. The secret you keep buried, scared that one day it will crawl back up.” My words served their purpose, proving to be correct when that look flashed in her eyes, when she slightly tensed in my arms, as if I just caught her red-handed.

Her jaw tightened, just enough, and she shook her head, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”

I nodded and smiled against her denial, “You do.” My lips brushed hers again, tasting the lie. “But don’t worry, I’ll figure it out. I don’t do my research in vain.” She calls it stalking. I call it stripping her secrets bare until there’s nothing left she can hide from me.

“You’re insane,” she whispered into my mouth, but her kiss didn’t stop, as if her mouth could shut my thoughts.

“Takes one to know one,” I curled my hand around the back of her neck, angling her face the way I wanted, forcing her deeper into me, “Now be a good girl and turn around.”

Her body stiffened, and she shook her head, ever so defiant. “No.”

My jaw flexed. “Aylin…”

“I told you I want to see you,” she whispered, her green eyes burning into mine. Where the fuck did she get all this courage from? “We do this face-to-face, or we don’t do it at all.”

Something snapped in my head, a wire gone loose. Her refusal should’ve enraged me, should’ve had me bending her over the rails until she screamed my name into the sea. Instead, it hollowed me out and filled me with something worse, with need, with want, and everything I was better off without. My hunger for her swallowed every other instinct whole. Fuck it.

I hooked my arms under her thighs and yanked her up into my arms. “Then wrap your legs around me,” I ordered, my voice barely holding it together. She obeyed, her legs locking tight around my waist, her mouth still pressed to mine, still fucking teasing me and pushing me to insanity.

I carried her inside, through the back door, and into the cabin. The first room opened off the deck, the bed in it already waiting for us. Without a word, I threw her down on it, the mattress squealing under the impact.

I discarded my pants rather quickly. She barely had time to breathe before I climbed over, before I wrenched her sweet legs apart and tore into her, brutally, mercilessly. She wanted to see me? Fine, let her, but she can’t expect me to be the slightest gentle. She can’t expect softness from me. My body slammed into hers like I wanted to shatter us both, and she screamed my name like the sweetest symphony.

My palm pressed flat over her stomach, forcing her down, feeling every violent thrust through her trembling body. I dragged it up, claiming every inch of her perfect body, squeezing her breasts until she gasped, until she writhed, before I reached her neck, wrapping my fingers tight around her throat, pinning her down for me.

Her body pressed deeper into the mattress, her lips parted on a gasp, and I caught it with my lips, my teeth grazed her lower lip, biting it hard until she whimpered beneath me. I smeared her moan against my tongue, shoving back into her without pause, fucking her harder just to hear the sound of her breaking again.

There was no air left between us, no thought, no space, no idea where I began and where she ended. I didn’t let her breathe, didn’t let her think. I fucked her like she was the only thing keeping me alive, and if being alive means having her like this, then maybe I could stop chasing death, maybe I’d accept this fate and live for once.

Her fingers dug into my shoulders, her nails leaving their mark, dragging me closer to her, so fucking close I could hear her pulse, so close I could imagine it, pumping there, beneath her silky pale skin.

My head moved, my lips kissing the corner of her mouth, her chin, until they landed on her neck, right where her pulse hammered, “Nathan,” She murmured, half moaning, half gasping because I never stopped moving inside her, and her sweet moan turned louder when I bit near her pulse, so hard, I nearly drew blood.

Fuck, it was maddening, having her this close, skin on skin, I wanted…needed so many things, I wanted her to be mine only, her pulse to beat only when near me. Her laughs and smiles, her sighs and moans, I wanted them only for me. I didn’t want the world to hear her or see her. He’d ruin her for me like he ruined everything else.

I couldn’t understand half of this. I’ve had my share of women before, but never did I want them to be mine. God, something about this girl is going to ruin me. I could feel it, and I hated it because I couldn’t stop it.

Her moans broke open under me, and I fed on every little sound. My hips snapped forward again ruthlessly, the bed slamming against the wall in rhythm with us.

“Fuck…Nathan,” she gasped, her nails raking down my back.

I caught her wrists, slammed them above her head into the mattress, pinning her down so all she could do was take me. “God, I love it when you say my name like that,” I growled, my chest crushing hers, my thrusts driving deeper, harder.

“Nathan…” It spilled out of her again so brokenly, my chest ached.

“That’s it,” I rasped, pressing harder till her eyes glazed, pupils blown wide, and I knew she was so close. Her legs squeezed tighter around my waist, trembling, her head tipping back into the pillow, her eyes pressing shut, her chest heaving, her skin red, as she shattered piece by piece beneath me.

I dropped my mouth to her throat again, teeth dragging over the pulse that obsessed me, that song I couldn’t stop listening to. I was transfixed, rabid for it, the hammer of her heart beneath fragile skin. My lips grazed her ear as I grated out, “You wanted to look at me? Then keep those pretty eyes open, princess. Don’t you fucking dare close them.”

Her lashes fluttered, fighting it, but she obeyed, her gaze lifted, hazy and wrecked, her body undone, and it was the most intoxicating, dangerous thing I’d ever seen.

I kept driving into her, relentless, until my own body gave way, the heat ripping through me, pleasure burning like wildfire in my veins. I groaned against her lips, and she whimpered, “God, Nathan, please…” She cried out, clinging to me, and I slammed into her one last time as I came hard, spilling into her, marking her from the inside out.

She arched against me, crying out loudly, her body betraying her, breaking open a second time alongside mine. Still, I didn’t let her go. My palm flattened against her stomach, holding her down, forcing her to take every last drop, every last thrust, until there was nothing left.

When I finally slowed, when the violence ebbed into ragged breaths, I hovered over her, my hand brushing her hair from her face. She looked destroyed, wrecked, her body trembling beneath mine, and it was the most perfect, exquisite thing I’d ever seen.

I bent down and kissed her softly, almost reverently. She sighed into me, her arms wrapping around my shoulders, keeping me all pressed up against her. “Now that wasn’t so hard, was it?” she teased, her voice worn, her lips brushing mine.

I edged back just far enough to glare down at her playfully, pinning her wrists beside her head with mock severity. Her lips twitched into a smile, and mine betrayed me by mirroring it. I kissed her again, a quick peck, and murmured, my nose brushing hers, “Feels different, having sex with you as my girlfriend.”

She hummed softly, “Bad different?”

My lips curved, brushing the corner of hers. “Good different.”

She melted into me then, her body heavy with satisfaction. She nestled into my chest with a soft sigh that tightened something brutal in my chest. “I wish we could stay here longer,” she whispered, her voice already trailing toward sleep and losing all of its energy.

I threaded my fingers through her hair, brushing it back from her face, just looking at her. I wanted to tell her that we could, but I paused when I saw her shift her head, trying to look around the room, as if searching for something, “Anything you want?”

She blinked up at me, her cheeks flushed, her eyes glassy with exhaustion. She looked so cute and fucking adorable that my chest tightened once more. “Can I have water, please?”

I kissed her once more before I untangled myself. “Of course.”

I pulled my pants back on, slipped out, and fetched her a glass from the kitchen. For a moment, I leaned on the counter, hitting pause and letting the past shadows claw at me. I looked around the place, the kitchen, the fireplace, the stairs leading up, and memories I had no right to keep crawled in with the silence till the voices in my head consumed me.

I shook my head and shoved them down when my temples throbbed with pain. I ignored all of that and carried the glass back to her.

When I entered, she was already curled under the blanket, fast asleep, her hair spread out across the pillow like rays of sunlight. My lips tugged into a smile at the scene alone. I set the glass on the nightstand and sat at the edge of the bed. I tugged the blanket higher around her, tucking it beneath her chin, and bent to press a kiss to her temple.

I sat down and just gazed at her, trying to make sense of things that weren’t me, trying to understand why I was doing all of this, why I listened to her, went by her rules, took her out, kept her in, let her into places I let no one get close to, just why?

I should’ve left it there, I should’ve walked out right this moment and kept the vow I made to myself, to not sleep beside her again, not to let this intimacy strip me bare, but the longer I gazed at her, the faster my resolve unraveled.

Before I could stop myself, I shifted and slipped down beside her. I pulled her into me until every inch of her body pressed into mine. I wrapped her from every corner, like maybe I’ll be allowed to keep her forever, and buried my face in her hair, breathed her in, and let the sweet scent of her drown me as I fell asleep.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Aylin’s POV

I woke up slowly, awareness pulling me back piece by piece. The sheets were tangled around me, the air cool against my bare skin beneath the blanket. The space beside me was empty, but still warm. It took me a full minute to recall everything that happened.

My gaze drifted to the nightstand, searching, but I found my phone already there. Nathan must’ve fetched it from his car. I reached for it, tapped the screen, and sighed at the bright numbers. Six a.m. It was early, too early for anything but the sound of waves breaking against the cliffs outside.

I turned my head toward the glass door that opened onto the deck, and there he was, standing in the distance, leaning against the railing, and staring at the horizon.

I slipped out of bed, the wooden floor cool under my feet. I searched around for something to cover myself with, but my dress was nowhere in sight. Instead, I padded toward the chair in the corner and found his shirt draped over it. I slipped it on, the fabric heavy with his scent, swallowing me whole.

Back at the nightstand, I lifted the glass of water he’d left for me and took a sip, easing the dryness in my throat. My eyes wandered the room, curious, tracing the corners as if they might reveal something about him, or whisper me a secret he buried. That’s when my eyes fell on a framed picture, lying upside down on a stand.

I set the glass aside and crossed the room, careful as I picked it up. It was a man with a little boy perched in his lap. My breath caught, my chest tightening strangely. The boy’s hazel eyes glowed with an innocence that felt so foreign. I smiled faintly despite myself. He couldn’t be the same Nathan I knew…could he?

I placed the frame back, gently, as if disturbing it would break something fragile. Then I turned toward the door and walked out to him.

The boards creaked softly beneath my steps as I moved closer. He hadn’t heard me yet. His back was to me, broad, powerful, and bare under the dawn light. My gaze lingered shamelessly, drinking him in. The smooth ripple of muscle beneath skin, the sharp line of his shoulders tapering to the strength of his waist.

He never let me look like this, never let me take him in, and now that I could, I tilted my head, biting my lip, and memorizing every inch.

That’s when I saw it. Just beneath his shoulder blade, there was dark ink that cut against skin. Letters. Words. I squinted, trying to make it out, desperate to read what he’d etched into himself. But before I could decipher it, he turned around, catching my presence like he’d felt me.

His eyes found mine, and he smiled. His lips tugged up into a rare, lazy, unguarded smile. And God, I smiled too, without even realizing it.

There was a cup of espresso in his hand, the steam curling up. He set it aside on the railing and reached for me, pulling me into him. His mouth brushed mine with so much warmth. “Good morning,” he murmured against my lips.

“Morning,” I whispered back, humming into his kiss, tasting him, bitter, rich, and intoxicating. “Mmm, coffee tastes better from you,” I mumbled teasingly.

His smile widened, boyish in a way I almost didn’t recognize, his face relaxed in the pale light, like the world had forgotten to weigh on him for once. “I’ll get you one too,” he said, brushing another kiss over my lips before slipping back inside.

I just stood there a moment longer, stunned, my skin tingling, my lips tingling, wondering if mornings like this were meant for people like us, or if we were just stealing them before the world caught on.

When he came back, he set a second cup beside his on the railing, then slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me into his warmth. I melted against him, smiling softly. “Why are you awake this early?”

I tilted my head, watching him watch the horizon. His gaze was so quiet, as if the view belonged only to him. “It looks so perfect here at this hour,” he murmured.

I turned back, following his eyes. The sun was climbing slowly, gently, painting the sea in pinks and gold. A sigh escaped me before I could stop it. “It’s perfect indeed.”

Nathan leaned down, pressed a soft kiss to the top of my shoulder, and I sank deeper into him. “It is,” he echoed.

I drew in a calming breath. “I really don’t want to leave here.”

“Then don’t.”

I pouted, though my heart swayed at the thought. “I have work tomorrow.”

His lips brushed the side of my neck, right where he’d left a visible mark hours before, “Take a couple of days off,” He suggested, his tone serious, “A week even. Stay here, with me, and I’ll show you around,” He added, “And we can come back and sleep here every night.”

The proposition sounded too good, too tempting. “Sounds like a great plan,” I whispered, meaning it more than I wanted to admit.

Nathan’s expression softened, and he nodded. I exhaled slowly, nodding too. “I’ll see if I can manage a few days.”

“Perfect,” he murmured, pulling me tighter to his chest.

We stood there in silence, sipping our coffees, watching the horizon shift as the sun rose higher. The world felt stripped down to nothing but this…his warmth at my back, the ocean breathing below us, the sky painted in slow strokes of gold and pink.

The whole world fell away, all my problems, fears, and doubts…all gone. For once, everything felt still. Everything felt right, and I wanted to stay in that moment forever.

When our cups were empty and the sun was climbing, Nathan’s gaze flicked toward the pool. “Wanna get in with me?”

A shiver ran down my spine at the thought. “It must be freezing.”

His brow arched, amused. “That’s the point.”

Before I could argue, he slipped away from me, moving toward the pool with that effortless confidence only he could pull off. I called after him, laughing, “You’re not actually going to jump, are you?”

He glanced back, a smirk tugging at his mouth. He winked, and then, without hesitation, he dove in. Water surged up, splashing across the deck, the droplets cold against my legs. I gasped, then giggled, covering my mouth as his head broke the surface.

Nathan shook his hair back, dragging a hand through the wet strands, slicking them away from his face. His eyes found mine immediately, intense even through the sunlight and the water dripping down his sharp jaw. He looked devastating and alive, like the whole world belonged to him, and like he could belong to me.

I sank down to the pool’s edge, grinning as I watched him, kicking my feet lightly above the surface. He swam closer, then lifted a hand, palm open toward me. “Come in.”

I looked at him, then glanced around, hesitating. “I’m not wearing anything under this shirt,” I admitted softly. “And I don’t want to ruin it for you.”

His smile deepened, the water sliding off his shoulders. “It doesn’t matter.” His hand stayed outstretched, steady, waiting.

My lips curved as I finally gave in, placing my hand in his. The moment our fingers touched, he yanked me.

“Wait—” I yelped, but it was too late. The water closed around me with a rush, cold and shocking against my skin, stealing my breath away.

I surfaced with a gasp, sputtering, only to find myself pressed against his chest, his arm locked tight around my waist. My laugh spilled out, breathless, bubbling as I squirmed in his hold.

“Nathan!” I pushed weakly against him.

“Got you,” he murmured, his face so close, this side of him so rare and unguarded it made my heart lurch.

I narrowed my eyes, but he only smirked in return. “You look so hot like this,” he said, his voice low and teasing. He kissed me before his tongue traced my lower lip. “I could just lick you up.”

“You are such a dog,” I said. His brow arched. “A wolf, remember?”

I sighed dramatically, looping my arms around his shoulders to keep steady as the water held me afloat. “Right. You are the big, bad wolf in this story.”

That seemed to satisfy him. His arm tightened around my waist, pulling me in until I could feel the heat of him even through the cold water, all hot and bothered at this ungodly hour, “And that would make you my red riding hood?”

I shook my head, “More like the grandma. Because one of these days, you’re going to eat me alive.”

He tipped his head back and laughed, water dripping down his neck, falling below his chest and pecs, goddammit, but I wanted to lick him too.

I smiled at the sound of his laugh, “Well, then you’re the sexiest grandmother in existence.”

“Now let’s swim, before I end up fucking you underwater,” He said before he suddenly loosened his hold on me and slipped away. His body cut through the water easily, leaving me floating in the middle of the pool. I nearly yelped, startled at the sudden loss of his warmth.

He glanced back, amused. “What’s that? Scared of some water, princess?”

I shook my head quickly, trying to match his lightness. “No. I’ve always loved swimming.” My voice sounded steady enough, because I really did love swimming.

I did, I knew that, but…but my body somehow disagreed with me.

Because the second he was out of reach, the second I had nothing solid to cling to, something inside me shifted. The water felt heavier, much colder. My muscles tensed up in alarm, my body kicking into panic mode, and my chest tightening like a fist had closed around it.

I understood what was going to happen even before it did. But no, not this, not now, not here, with him so close.

I tried to steady myself, to tread water, but the edges of my vision darkened. The gentle splash of the pool was gone, replaced with a deep, pounding hum in my ears that grew sharper and louder, until it was all I could hear. I knew how the episode starts, it always starts like this, with a relentless throbbing in my ears.

It always starts just like this.

No, no, no. It’s been years since it last happened. I shouldn’t…it shouldn’t happen.

Why would it happen now? There is nothing to trigger it. I’ve been in water multiple times before, but it didn’t happen, so why now?

My breaths came out shallow and clipped. My chest seized, every inhale scraping against my lungs. It felt like someone’s hand was pressing me down, drowning me without water filling my lungs.

The blur spread, my vision fracturing until Nathan’s shape in the distance was smeared into nothing. My eyes were still open, I knew they were, but the world was gone.

I wasn’t here anymore. I was back there, back when no one believed me. They said I slipped, that I was too young, and fell into the water on my own. No one believed that I didn’t. No one believed that someone pushed me. But I still remember…I remember the hands. Two of them. Around my neck. Shoving me under. I remember thrashing, kicking, lungs burning. I remember them never stopping. I remember this same feeling, this same episode, the way the world went black, and I blanked out, separating myself from the moment just to survive it.

It wasn’t dark.

It wasn’t light.

I don’t even know what I saw. And then…there was air. My lungs filling with it too fast, too harsh. My head shot up like I’d been yanked back to the surface. My body lurched upright, my chest heaving, my bewildered eyes blinking wide open into blinding daylight.

I was on the bed again, and I was alone.

My hand pressed into my chest as I looked around, bewildered, lost. Everything around me swam in haze. None of it made sense. I didn’t understand a thing. I looked at the nightstand and reached for my phone. I checked the time and it was…one in the afternoon? No, no, no way. That can’t be right. We’d gone into the pool around seven, maybe eight. That was minutes ago. It had to be minutes ago. How the hell could it be one already?

No…I didn’t…I didn’t lose that much time, did I?

I swallowed hard and looked down at myself. I was naked again under the sheets. My brows pinched, my heart pounded louder and louder. No, I… I woke up before this. Didn’t I? Nathan was outside. We had coffee, we laughed, we watched the sunrise, then we went into the pool. I remember it.

That was real, wasn’t it?

I ran a hand through my hair, and strands stuck damp against my fingers. They were wet. It was a proof…proof I’d been in the water. Proof it was real, and that…all of that had happened. Then, then what the hell happened after?

I clutched the blanket to me as I stood, the room tilting slightly as I moved. My eyes scanned around for him. He’d have the answers, he’d fill in the blanks, but where is he? I couldn’t spot him anywhere near.

My gaze found my dress, which was hanging neatly on the rack. I grabbed it, pulled it over my body with shaky hands, and stepped onto the deck.

“Nathan?” My voice cracked.

Nothing. Just silence, except the waves below.

I turned around and the pool gleamed back at me; it looked calm now, peaceful. No ripples, no trace. I stared at it until my chest caved in. Did I even get into the pool at all? My hands trembled at my sides. I wanted to scream. God, no. Why was this happening again? Why was my mind splitting open, giving me blanks, cutting me off from myself? I’d been okay. I’d been fine for years and years. Why now? Why can’t I tell what’s real and what isn’t?

I stumbled back inside, searching, calling softer this time, “Nathan…are you here?” I whispered, but no answer came back. The whole cabin was empty, and Nathan wasn’t here. His clothes were gone. His phone. Everything. The place felt abandoned.

God, what happened? Did I do something?

My hand shook as I picked up my phone, my thumb hovering over his name. But before I could press call, I forced myself to look outside, one last tether of hope. If his car was still here, he hadn’t left me.

I stepped outside. The warmth of the sun bit at my skin, and I froze in place. His car was gone. In its place now stood another one, and that guy from last night, Nathan’s friend or driver or whoever he is, was leaning against it, scrolling casually through his phone.

He must’ve felt my stare because he lifted his head, his eyes finding mine. He straightened, slipped his phone into his pocket, and looked at me. I swallowed hard, past the lump in my throat, “Where is Nathan?”

“He left,” he said simply, his tone flat and neutral. “I can drop you off at the hotel whenever you’re ready.”

I stared at him, heat and ice warring in my chest. He left? The words made no sense. My brows knitted tight, searching for something in his face, but he gave me nothing. He must’ve noticed my hesitation, because he added, “You have a flight today, don’t you?” He said it like it was a fact, not a question.

But…but Nathan asked me to stay here longer, that we would stay here and…He did, didn’t he?

I sucked in a stuttering breath, every part of me trembled, and I felt like I might collapse, because nothing, not a single piece, made sense anymore. This is what happened when I had an episode. I lost hours. Pieces of time ripped out of me, leaving only blanks.

My throat burned, and I rubbed my hand over it, “Where…where did Nathan go?”

The man’s brows pulled together. He shook his head once, “I don’t know.”

Silence pressed between us for a long minute, then he cleared his throat, opened the car door, and glanced back at me. “We can leave whenever you’re ready.” He repeated.

I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I stood there barefoot on the gravel, staring at the empty space where his car should’ve been, and for the first time in years, I wondered if I’d dreamed the entire morning.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

Author’s note:

Well, well, well, what do you think happened? xD

Did this happen, did it not, is this real, is it not…these are questions you’ll be asking yourself a lot while reading this story xD

Please do vote, and drop your thoughts in the comments.

Love ya *wolf emoji*