Chapter 31

“Love is a curse
because it gives me something
the world can threaten.
Because now there is a her-shaped weakness stitched into my chest,
and I would dismantle existence
to keep it breathing.“

One week later…

Nathan’s POV

It’s Christmas Eve.

The night of miracles, forgiveness, and pretending we’re all emotionally stable.

I am none of those things.

I’ve been informed this is a family holiday—barf, I know—which is probably a code for excessive noise, too many intolerable people packed into one house, unnecessary physical contact, and an alarming amount of forced cheer.

I fucking hate it.

Aylin, on the other hand, my princess is thriving.

She’s been insufferably happy these past couple of days. Glowing, even, and no, before anyone makes assumptions, this particular glow has nothing to do with the several orgasms I’ve been giving her throughout the day. Unfortunately, this ridiculous radiance is entirely holiday-related, which somehow makes me hate it even more.

She’s been running around, shopping for gifts for god knows who, always humming silly Christmas songs under her breath, wearing ridiculous Christmas pajamas instead of my shirts…which is so damn rude, by the way.

As if that wasn’t enough, she’s also been forcing me to watch soul-shattering movies from this Hallmark person, every damn night. The kind where problems are solved with hot chocolates, and men named Jack or Tom or the whitest name imaginable, learn the true meaning of Christmas in under ninety minutes.

No action, no blood, no one dying, no cars crashing, no violence…god, it’s a disgrace to cinema.

She curls up beside me every night, her beautiful eyes sparkling, sighing fondly at nauseating dialogues. She melts into me whenever the characters fall in love after one day, and sweetly kisses my face when I start muttering curses under my breath, calling me names like Grinch and whatnot.

So yeah, it’s fucking annoying.

Yet, I still join her every night, because she’s happy and with me, so what more could I possibly ask for?

Christian’s been third-wheeling us all week, which, on the bright side, has given me ample opportunity to annoy him, so I won’t complain much about his unnecessary presence.

He usually taps out halfway through the disgraceful movies and retreats to his room, but he’s far too curious about Aylin for my liking, always asking her questions and getting way too comfortable.

Which has earned him a punch or two.

You know, festive season and all.

Also, what’s kept me slightly sane, and let me emphasize on slightly, is the fact that I’ve been keeping her mother captive. Sweet Layla, however, has proven to be a damn handful, uncooperative in every way that matters.

Now I know exactly where Aylin gets her stubbornness from. With my princess, it’s cute. Infuriating, but cute. However, with this woman, it turns something feral loose in my chest.

I’ve been exercising restraint with the old woman, for Aylin’s sake, only, and just for now.

I haven’t laid a hand on her. I haven’t crossed that line yet. I’ve been patient for an entire week, which deserves some kind of medal, honestly. But patience is not infinite, and mine is wearing dangerously thin.

If she doesn’t give me what I’m looking for soon, I won’t care anymore.

“You really won’t join us?” Aylin asked Christian, shaking me out of my thoughts and making me glare at her, then at him. I hate it when they get all chatty. Fucking hate it.

Christian shook his head, straightened the collar of his shirt, then grabbed his jacket from the hanger. “It’s better if I don’t,” he said, keeping it simple.

Aylin’s lips formed a small pout, and I kept glaring at her for being way too invested. Her eyes flicked to me, caught my unhappy expression, and she sighed like I was the unreasonable one here. “It’s just…no one should spend Christmas alone.”

“First of all,” I muttered, “Christmas is tomorrow, and second of all, unfortunately, he’ll be spending it with you and me for some fucking reason.” I turned my glare fully on him. “At this point, I feel like you’re my long-lost kid,” I added mockingly, “I’ll have to remember to put cookies and milk out for Santa so he surprises you.”

Christian flashed me an unfazed look before he turned to Aylin, who nudged me with her elbow so I’d shut up. She keeps on taking his side, for some reason. I fucking hate it.

“I won’t be alone,” Christian told her, calmly. “I’ve got friends here in town, and they invited me over for dinner.”

“Oh,” Aylin murmured, visibly relieved.

My eyebrows pulled together. “Joe?” I asked, to which he nodded. Joe was one of our friends from college times. He was such a headache at times, so I cut him off and stopped talking to him altogether, but Christian, being all mature and evolved, reconciled with him.

Around a year ago, Joe married an American girl and relocated from England to the States. I used to make fun of him relentlessly for that, and well, now look at me…doing almost the exact same thing. Wow. The tables really do turn.

“Why don’t you stay with him and Stacy, then?” I shot back. “Why is it always me you choose to annoy?”

Christian smiled, all fake innocence and smug, as he fondly tapped my shoulder. “Because I’m your kid,” he said, winking. “Not theirs.”

“Fucking asshole—” I couldn’t finish my words because Aylin elbowed me again. I turned to her, my jaw ticking.

“Stop being rude,” she hissed, her eyes wide like she couldn’t believe I was behaving exactly like myself. Note to self, punish her very hard for always taking Christian’s side.

“Alright,” Christian said, ready to head out, “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Hopefully not,” I muttered, subtly moving a bit away from Aylin so she won’t elbow me again.

“Uh—wait. Wait, just a second,” she said suddenly, already turning away.

My brows pulled together as I watched her disappear inside. A few seconds later, she came back, stopped in front of Christian, and held out a…wrapped box.

My gaze fell on the thing, utterly baffled.

She smiled, all cheerful and far too bright, “Merry Christmas.”

Christian’s face lit up…it actually lit up, “Oh…wow. You didn’t have to,” he said, taking it. “Thank you.”

“The fuck is that?” I asked, my voice climbing and my annoyance hitting the fucking roof.

Aylin turned to me, her eyes widening in warning. “It’s a gift,” she said, then slid closer and looped her arm through mine, “From Nathan and me,” she added casually with a warm smile.

My eyes widened.

I immediately pulled my arm away, “No, hell no,” I shot out, “I had nothing to do with this nonsense,” I said, before I turned back to Christian, my glare zeroing in on the wrapped box, considering ripping it out of his hands and setting it on fire.

I looked back at Aylin, “Why are you getting him gifts?” I demanded.

She sighed. “It’s Christmas,” she said, as if that explained everything.

I fucking hate this holiday.

I scoffed. “You didn’t get me a gift.”

She glared at me, visibly annoyed by my lack of manners. “Well,” she said simply, eyebrow lifting, “you have me. That’s more than enough of a gift for you.”

She wasn’t wrong, really, but then again…Christian gets a gift? And I don’t? What the fuck was this?

I was fully prepared to sulk longer, maybe brood for half an hour, when Christian finally left, and Aylin tugged at my sleeve. “Come on,” she said, already crouching to grab her boots. “We should go too, or we’ll be late for dinner.” She glanced back when I didn’t move. “Come on.”

I huffed and grabbed our jackets, waiting while she straightened up. I helped her slide her arms into the sleeves, because apparently I’m that type of man now…such a disturbing development.

I couldn’t help but take her in as we walked toward my car.

She was wearing a pleated black skirt, which I’m convinced she puts on specifically to derail me and ruin my ability to think straight. An oversized red-burgundy sweater hung off her frame, a stupid little teddy bear woven into the middle. Her hair was down, she made that thing that gives it a slight wave at the ends, the shorter strands curling cutely near her cheeks.

God…she was beautiful in a way that completely ruined my mood, adorable enough to make me forget, briefly, about violence and homicide.

“What did you get him?” I asked as I pulled the car onto the street, still very bitter and offended.

She turned her head toward me, clocked my annoyance, and, because she enjoys chaos, decided to annoy me more, “Just a gift.”

My grip tightened on the wheel. “Yeah? What kind of gift?”

She shrugged, innocent. “Nothing big.”

“Did you get everyone gifts?” I asked, recalling the big bag she’d stuffed into my car’s trunk yesterday.

She nodded.

I frowned harder. “Why would you do that?”

“Nathan, it’s Christmas,” she said, in a matter-of-fact tone, “And they invited us to their house, you can’t just show up empty-handed.”

“I am already going there against my will,” I stated, “Believe me, they should be grateful I am showing up empty-handed and not armed.”

“Oh god…” She sighed, rubbed her forehead, and facepalmed, “We’ll just say the gifts are from both of us, but I honestly can’t believe you didn’t think to get anything, at least for Maria.”

I scowled, still stuck on the far more important issue that she’d bought gifts for everyone and none for me. “So this is a…thing?” I muttered, dissatisfied.

She nodded slowly. “Yes,” she said, eyeing me warily, “Did you never celebrate Christmas before?”

I nodded, “I did, but it was a long time ago,” I muttered.

Her gaze lingered on me for a long minute, “With your dad?” She asked. 

I nodded.

Her lips twitched, her head tilting as she studied me, “Sometimes,” she said slowly, “I can’t imagine you as a little kid. I don’t know why.”

My eyebrow lifted. “What else would I have been?” I asked dryly. “I didn’t just materialize out of nowhere at the age of twenty with a track record of violence.”

She shrugged, smiling. “I don’t know. Were you always like this…such a menace?”

I scoffed. “Excuse you, I was a delight.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “No doubts there,” she said, dripping sarcasm. “Seriously, though, how were you? I can totally picture you as that kid who causes trouble, kicks, and bites other kids for fun.”

My lips twitched despite myself. “Rude, but no,” I said. “Actually, I was kind of a…quiet kid in a way, I mean, unless triggered, then all bets were off,” I said, “I was observant too, saw the world a bit…differently, slightly unhinged, sure,” I winked, “but in a very charming way.”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “I would’ve paid to see little you.”

I smiled, “Well, you wouldn’t have survived him, but you would’ve liked him anyway, basically this version,” I gestured at myself, “just closer to knee-height.”

She looked at me again, her eyes much softer now, her smile edible, literally.

“Did you like Christmas back then?”

I hesitated for half a beat, then shrugged. “Yeah, I did, in a way,” I said.

She waited for more, didn’t interrupt, didn’t ask, just gave me space to speak and reveal more to her. That was her smart trick.

I tapped my fingers over the steering wheel, inhaling deeply, “I mean, my father was a busy man, so sometimes, days would pass without me seeing him, but still, he always made time for me, especially on the holidays.” I paused, realizing, again, that I don’t usually say things like this out loud.

Only to her, I guess.

“It used to be quiet, just me and him, and I liked it that way,” I added, because a family doesn’t need to be loud to count. Sometimes, one person is enough.

“Remember the cabin we went to?” I asked, and she nodded silently, “We used to spend Christmas there sometimes.”

Her smile softened. “Maybe next Christmas,” she said gently, like the thought slipped out before she could stop it, “we could spend it there.”

My eyebrow raised, “Next Christmas?” I teased, “Already including me in your long-term plans, I see.”

Her smile faltered instantly, and she straightened, that adorable blush creeping up her neck, which only made my grin widen. Weird thing is, I’ve never been someone who thinks past tomorrow, never cared to.

Yet, somehow, she keeps dragging my thoughts forward…into next month, next year, and fuck, sometimes even ten years from now, and every version of those futures has her in it somehow.

Terrifying.

She chose not to indulge me any further. Her ears were tinted red, god, I wanted to bite them. Then, she turned her gaze to the window instead, watching the snow drift down.

After a moment, her lips twitched at the sight. God. She was so painfully sappy, completely mesmerized by holidays and snow and all that sentimental nonsense.

I slid my hand forward and rested it on her thigh, breathing out slowly. Not touching her for too long gives me withdrawals. Instinctively, without even looking, her hand settled over mine, her fingers curling around it, so warm and small and one of my favorite things in the world.

“What did you get for Christian?” I asked again, because the thought refused to die.

She turned to me, her eyes narrowing. “I’m not telling you.”

My fingers tightened slightly over her thigh, and I glared at the windshield, “I just hate the fucker,” I muttered under my breath.

“You say that, but I know you love him…in your own very unhinged way.”

“Hey,” I shot back, genuinely offended as I turned to her. “I don’t love anyone, especially not him. Don’t associate that word with me. Ever.”

My words, mostly mocking and aimed at Christian, still landed wrong.

I felt it immediately, the way she tensed beneath my palm. She nodded her head silently and turned her gaze back to the window, her fingers loosening around mine, her expression going distant as she stared out, lost somewhere I hadn’t meant to send her.

I kept on stroking her thigh, and she kept silent for the rest of the drive, making my mind do that thing where it glitches. Fucking amazing.

When we arrived, she went down and quickly picked up the bag from the back, her energy somehow restored. I took it from her before she could protest, rested my hand against her lower back, and guided her toward the door.

I rang the bell, and while we waited, she rose onto her tiptoes and reached for my hair, brushing it aside like she was fixing something. I looked at her, and she flashed me a small smile, to which I couldn’t help but smile back, lean down, and quickly peck her sweet lips.

The door swung open right then.

“Hey…oh,” Natalie said, her eyebrow raised teasingly as she caught us, then quickly ushered us in, “Come in, come in.”

“Merry Christmas,” my princess said warmly, but Natalie had already pulled her into one of her suffocating hugs.

I was one second away from intervening when she finally let her go.

Then Natalie turned to me.

For once, instead of forcing her hugs on me, she hesitated. She gave me a look, a soft, silent question in her gaze. A loud sigh pushed off my nose, and I nodded my head, giving her permission.

Her face lit up, and she quickly wrapped her arms around me. “Merry Christmas,” she said, playfully ruffling the back of my hair…clearly she has no survival instincts whatsoever.

I awkwardly patted her back. “Yeah, whatever,” I muttered when she pulled away, then fixed my hair while glaring, the urge to shove her to the ground intensifying.

She shook her head at me, unimpressed, then turned back to Aylin immediately. “So, how have you been? What’s new?” already slipping into full host mode as she ushered us further inside.

I placed the bag of gifts aside and scanned the place out of habit, clocking faces, exits, and familiar voices. Just an old reflex, very hard to kill.

My eyes landed on Emma first, because I always clock the most dangerous person in the room before anyone else. She was curled up on the couch, her body angled toward Nikolas, mid-conversation. She must’ve caught me in her peripheral vision, because she paused and slowly turned her head.

Our eyes met.

Her expression stayed neutral, but her gaze lingered for a very long moment. I held it without blinking. I’m not the type to look away first.

Her eyes flicked from me to the girl beside me.

Then she turned back to Nikolas like nothing happened, resuming her conversation.

Natalie disappeared somewhere, and I resumed my search, my eyes falling on the cutest person in the house, after my princess, of course.

Maria was sitting beside Wyatt, leaning in as he showed her something on his phone, wearing the cutest red-and-white pajamas covered in tiny Santa Clauses and a ridiculous red Christmas hat perched on her head. The pom-pom bobbed every time she nodded and gestured cheerfully at something.

As I entered the room, her eyes lifted from the screen and landed on me.

Her whole face lit up.

I smiled and gave her a wink.

She immediately launched herself off the couch, the pom-pom of the hat bouncing wildly as she scurried to my side.

Just then, someone jumped on my back from behind, nearly giving me a fucking stroke. “Fuck—” I stumbled forward, barely catching myself before the weight disappeared, and a very familiar, annoying laugh exploded behind me.

Lilly playfully slapped my back as I turned around and glared at the gremlin, who was laughing still, ever so delighted.

“Oh my god,” she wheezed, “I so took you off guard.”

“Should’ve really killed you when I had the chance,” I grumbled under my breath.

Her smile sharpened. She stepped closer and poked my chest, her eyes narrowing, “Should’ve pushed the knife deeper when I stabbed you,” She muttered lowly, with a similar tone to mine, recalling old blissful memories.

“What?” Aylin’s voice cut in, horrified.

I turned to find her staring at us with wide eyes, taken aback by what she just heard. God, what is she gonna do when she learns all about my past?

I shook my head. “It’s nothing,” I said quickly. “Don’t listen to her.”

I placed my hand over Lilly’s face, covering it whole and using it to push her out of my space like the aggressive cat she is.

She groaned, smacking my arm. “Asshole.”

She stepped forward again, elbowing me in the stomach as she wedged herself between Aylin and me, her murderous glare melting into a sweet smile. “Hey,” she said brightly, hugging Aylin, on purpose so she could lean in and whisper, “Take my advice and run far, far away from this psycho—”

I grabbed the back of her pajama top, the one so much identical to Maria’s, and yanked her away mid-sentence.

When I released her, she stumbled back, gasping at my audacity.

Just then, someone punched my arm, hard, so fucking hard, I had to grit my teeth, so I wouldn’t wince. I turned my head, my eyes falling on Alex as he shot me a glare, “Don’t touch my daughter, you fucker,” He shot out, ever so serious.

I glared right back, my jaw ticking. You see, this is what happens when you put me in a room with these people.

I rubbed my arm and stepped away, because I knew that if I touched him back, Nikolas would kill me, and lately I’ve been trying this new, experimental thing called valuing my life.

“Uncle Alex, you said a bad word!”

My eyes flickered to Maria, who was standing near us, looking up, her wide eyes flicking between us, ever so confused, as she bore witness to the madness.

“I’m telling mommy,” she said, ever so scandalized, before sprinting off.

I grabbed Aylin’s arm and steered us toward the nearest empty couch, plopping down, thinking it was safe. I didn’t even get a full breath in before Lilly shoved herself between us, physically forcing me aside to wedge herself in.

The fuck is wrong with her today? Someone remove her from my vicinity before I throw her out a window.

I glared at her harder. “Where’s your boyfriend?” I asked. True, I hate the fucker, but at least he keeps her occupied.

That was enough to wipe the smile right off her face. “He has a flight,” she muttered, her lips curling into a pout.

Well, I considered that a personal blessing. I love me a Chase-less world.

“So,” she sighed dramatically, glancing between Aylin and me, “I’m all alone.” Then her eyes narrowed. “Which means no touchy, loving gestures. If I’m not getting any affection, no one is.”

I leaned in and flicked her temple.

“Oww,” she complained, rubbing the spot and shooting me a glare. Then she turned to Aylin, who still looked like she hadn’t recovered from earlier. “Did you really stab him?”

Lilly nodded enthusiastically. “Oh yeah,” she said, grinning. “I’ll tell you everything.”

I facepalmed.

“It was so much fun,” Lilly added.

Thankfully, before Lilly could get into further details, her mother called for her from the other room. She huffed dramatically, then leaned toward Aylin. “We’re resuming this,” she said, purposefully jabbing her elbow into my stomach as she stood, right where I’d stabbed myself.

I groaned. Fucking hell…

“I’ll give you all the dirt on this one,” she whispered loudly, winking. Then she turned back to me, her eyes gleaming with malicious intent. “Like his ex-girlfriends and all that.”

Then, before I could jump on her, she took off, scurrying away.

I am really going to kill her tonight.

I slid closer to Aylin, reclaiming the spot Lilly had stolen. My arm lifted to wrap around her shoulders, but…she moved away from me.

Uhm, excuse me?

I flashed her a questioning look. She crossed her arms over her chest, her eyebrow arching. “Ex-girlfriends?”

I sighed and slammed the back of my head against the cushion. “Did you really believe her?” I grumbled. “She was just being an asshole.”

“You told me you never had a girlfriend before,” she said flatly.

I looked at her. “And I didn’t,” I said. “Why would I lie to you?”

Her eyes narrowed. “So you were really never in a relationship before us?”

I nodded, then shook my head, “I mean, obviously you know I wasn’t a virgin when I met you, right?” I said in mockery, “I’ve had my flings. That’s all.” I shrugged. “Sometimes…long-term flings.”

Her throat bobbed, and a flush of deep red crept up her neck. Her green eyes darkened into the I-want-to-scratch-your-face look that I used to adore. Now, though, it felt like she might claw my eyes out.

“Long-term flings?” she repeated slowly.

I nodded.

“That’s basically a relationship, you liar,” She grumbled.

“What? No,” I defended myself immediately. “Absolutely not. It was just…more efficient,” I said, digging the hole deeper, “I mean it was easier than always finding a new girl to hook up with,” I clarified my innocent intentions, “so, I’d hang out with same girl until I get bored, and then—” I paused when I saw the look in her eyes turn slightly more furious, and not the kind I loved.

I should really learn when to stop talking.

I do not like this.

Instead of saying more, a harsh breath pushed off her chest, and she quickly stood up, like she couldn’t handle staying close to me.

“Where are you going?” I asked, my hand reaching for hers. She shrugged it away angrily, “To help Natalie and the others,” She grumbled, purposely building distance away from me.

I huffed, already halfway to following her, when another fucker slid into the space she’d left. An arm slung itself around my shoulders, and the same idiot, who has no appreciation for his life or whatsoever, ruffled my hair.

I groaned and pulled away, shooting Ronald a murderous glare that didn’t affect him the slightest. “So, this is our first Christmas together, huh?” He asked, ever cheerful.

“And last,” I shot out, then punched his arm so he’d take it off me, “When will you learn to stop touching me?”

He didn’t move. Instead, he squeezed my shoulder and got comfortable. “Uh…never.”

I felt my eye twitch.

If I survive this night, then I can absolutely survive anything.

I calculated how long it’d take me to rush to my car, grab my knife, and turn this festive night into a massacre.

“You really can’t take a hint, can you?” I grumbled, glaring at him.

He shook his head, “Nope,” He said, then ruffled my hair again. I groaned loudly and punched his shoulder, but he didn’t seem affected. He only chuckled, “I’ve survived Nikolas as my brother-in-law,” his eyebrow raised, and he tapped my arm, “So trust me, I can definitely handle your baby tantrums.”

I closed my eyes and prayed for patience.

I did not receive it.

So, instead, I tore myself away from him, got up, and walked away before I actually followed through on the urge to draw his blood. I shoved the door leading to the backyard open and stepped outside, closing it shut behind me, the cold air slamming into me like a slap I desperately needed.

Fuck, I’d kill for a smoke right now.

Snow was coming down hard, turning everything white and quiet. It was freezing, but it was still better than being inside surrounded by all those unnecessary people, and especially with Aylin mad at me, through no fault of my own, might I add.

I exhaled slowly, watching my breath fog in the air.

The soft shuffle of movement to my right caught my attention. Little Nathan stood a few steps away, his phone pressed to his ear. He wasn’t talking, just listening or maybe waiting for a response. His shoulders were slightly hunched against the cold, his jaw locked a little too tight.

Then, suddenly, he tore the phone away, locked it, and angrily shoved it into his pocket before staring straight ahead at nothing in particular.

I frowned and walked closer. The crunch of snow under my boots snapped him out of whatever spiral he’d been stuck in, and he turned his head, his somewhat troublesome eyes falling on me.

I stopped beside him, shoved my hands into my pockets, pretending I hadn’t clocked everything. “Hey,” I said.

“Hey,” he muttered back, his voice so low as he averted his gaze.

“How are you?”

“Good,” He muttered.

I waited a beat. “You sure?”

He turned toward me this time, his brows knitting together. “Yeah. Why?”

I shrugged. “You just seem agitated.”

He shook his head as he slipped his hands into his pockets, forced his shoulders to relax, like he was consciously rearranging himself, “No, I’m not,” he said.

“Okay,” I muttered as I looked away, “As you say.”

I closed my eyes and breathed in the cold air, let it burn my lungs a little. When I opened them again, I turned to look at him properly this time. He was too quiet, his eyes locked somewhere far away, his hair tousled back, his jaw set.

True, I call him little, but he wasn’t so little anymore. He’d grown fast, too fast even. He looked so different from the kid I once wanted to hurt.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked suddenly.

His head snapped in my direction, and he raised his eyebrow, taken aback.

I shrugged, “or a boyfriend? I mean, I don’t judge.”

He let out an annoyed breath and turned away again, uninterested in sharing.

My eyebrows pulled closer in genuine worry, “You’ve had sex, right?” I asked, pulling my hand from my pocket and resting it over his shoulder, “I don’t need to worry about you being a virgin at college, do I?”

He shot me a glare and moved away from me, forcing my hand to drop. “I am not discussing my sex life with you.”

I smiled, “Oh, so you admit you have a sex life.”

He let out a long, suffering huff and stared straight ahead, refusing to indulge me further.

“Relax,” I said. “I’m just concerned. I mean, you have Nikolas as a father,” I rolled my eyes at the notion, “I can’t imagine he’s particularly helpful with this kind of thing.”

He looked at me, genuinely offended, “Don’t talk about him like that,” He shot out, ever so defensive, “Dad is supportive in everything.”

I tilted my head, “So, it’s a…boyfriend then, huh?” I asked teasingly.

He huffed out loudly before he brought his hand out of his pocket and shoved me away, barely causing me to budge, “Stop being so annoying,” He grumbled.

I grinned, “Can’t, it’s genetic,” I said, “You probably have it, too.”

He shook his head and turned away again.

I chuckled under my breath and pressed on. “So…Nikolas is supportive?” I said, genuinely surprised. “Didn’t expect him to be that type of father.”

His eyebrows pulled closer, “Why not?”

I shook my head, “Just the way he grew up, and the life he led,” I looked at him, “before he had you, of course.”

His jaw moved, it clenched, “I don’t care about…the life he led before me,” He stated flatly, “All I know is that he’s there for me when I need him, and if I ever have a problem, I know he’ll do everything to fix it.”

I nodded once, looked away, and couldn’t help the way my jaw flexed, “Must be nice.”

I felt little Nathan’s eyes linger on me longer than necessary, then, since he is stupidly courageous, he asked, “Was your father like that?”

Well, that caught me slightly off guard.

I turned to him, “In a way,” I said, “I mean, for the first nine years of my life, yeah.”

His brow creased. “What was he like?”

“Curious about your grandfather now?”

He shrugged. “No one ever talks about him,” he said. “I only hear things from Wyatt, just stuff he’s picked up.”

I inhaled, the cold air biting deep. “You want the truth?” I asked, and he nodded his head.

“He was a lot like your father.” I said, “Nikolas would deny that, of course, but they were alike in so many ways.”

Little Nathan frowned, “I doubt that.”

I shook my head, “No, really, they were, they both have that good and bad side,” I said, “Nikolas just never got the chance to see Isaac’s good side, that’s all.”

“And you did?”

I nodded, “Yeah,” I muttered, my eyes dropping as I nudged the snow with my boot, “and his bad side, too,” I added, my jaw ticking.

I shook the many unpleasant thoughts away before they got the chance to form. What the fuck was I doing getting sentimental? Must be some kind of Christmas virus my princess had infected me with.

I shoved my hands out of my pockets and threw an arm around Little Nathan’s shoulders. “Alright, enough with that,” I said. “Let’s go inside before I lose feeling in my fingers.”

He tried to break free, muttering something under his breath, but all he earned was a rough ruffle to his hair. I felt Nikolas’s gaze zero in on us as we stepped back in. He shot me a warning glare, still very distrustful of my intentions toward his son.

My eyebrow raised in response, silently telling him to fuck off and relax. Little Nathan was on my list of people I tolerate, now. Nikolas, however, was still under review.

Our staring contest had to be cut short because a cute little thing was tugging at my pants, trying to grab my attention. I smiled and immediately released Little Nathan. I bent down and quickly scooped her up. She giggled as she settled into my arms, wrapping herself around my neck like she always did.

“Uncle Nathan, thank you,” she chirped.

My brows pulled together as I carried her out of the living room. “For what, exactly?”

“You and Aylin got me a present!” she announced proudly, tightening her arms around my neck.

“Oh, that,” I muttered, “yeah, well, that’s all on Aylin.”

Maria nodded, “I think I love Aylin, she is nice.”

I smiled despite myself. “Yeah,” I said. “She’s very cute, isn’t she?”

Maria nodded, “Yes,” She added thoughtfully, “and pretty.”

“Extremely,” I agreed. “The prettiest ever.”

“I also…I like her hair, it’s so shiny,” She added in astonishment.

I chuckled and nodded, “Yeah, you’ve got good taste, little one,” I said as I playfully bumped my forehead with hers, “I should just make her my wife, you think so?”

Maria nodded instantly, so excited before she leaned in, lowering her voice, “When will you make me little babies, like we agreed?”

I chuckled, “Well, I’d rather today before tomorrow, but I don’t think she’d go for that just yet.” I leaned closer, “So when you see her, try to convince her, yeah?”

Her eyes widened in excitement, and she nodded her head multiple times, “Okay, I will.”

I smiled and pressed a quick kiss to her temple before straightening, pausing by the kitchen doorway, expecting Aylin to be here. Unfortunately, it was only Natalie, standing near the countertop, busy arranging gingerbread cookies on a plate.

I walked over with Maria still in my arms, casually picked up a cookie, and handed it to her. Natalie’s eyes snapped to us instantly. “No, not before dinner!”

I quickly set Maria down and tapped her back. “Run,” I encouraged her. “Run fast.”

She bolted away, giggling, the cookie clutched between her little fingers.

I straightened just in time to catch Natalie’s glare. I smiled innocently and shrugged. Best uncle award goes to me, for sure.

I scanned the room. “Where’s Aylin?”

“She was here,” Natalie said. “Then Lilly showed up and dragged her inside. I’m not sure where.”

Great, just great.

I huffed out and leaned my elbows against the counter, watching her arrange the rest of the food.

“I spoke to Malcolm the other day,” Natalie started, reading my mind as she addressed her doctor friend, “He mentioned that you both stopped by.”

I nodded, my jaw tightening. “Yeah. I didn’t like this friend of yours,” I muttered. “He didn’t let me sit in and talked to Aylin all alone.”

Natalie didn’t even look up. “That’s how it should be.”

I frowned. “I don’t like that answer.”

She glanced up at me. “He needs to hear things from her first,” she said calmly. “Some patients tend to censor themselves when someone’s hovering, especially when that someone is….” She looked at me, from up to down, “You know…intense and all.”

I shot her a glare, “I didn’t hover, and I am not intense,” I grumbled.

She snorted and went back to the plates. “Sure you are not.”

I exhaled through my nose. “He also didn’t say much when I tried to get answers,” I added. “Just a lot of we can’t be sure yet, and we need more data.” My jaw ticked. “All vague answers, which I hate, by the way. Why couldn’t he be direct?”

Natalie paused and looked up, “He can’t give a definite diagnosis without all the results.”

I huffed, “I know, but he could’ve said something at least.”

She nodded, “He has his theories,” she said. “But theories don’t mean much without proof. That’s why he ordered the tests and scans.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, “He ordered an MRI, EEG, full blood work, and even mentioned neuropsych testing once we rule out structural issues.”

Her brows pulled together. “Did you get any of them done?”

I shook my head, “Because it’s fucking Christmas and the universe fucking hates me,” I grumbled, but got smacked on the arm.

“Language,” she scolded.

“Hey—” I shot her a glare, rubbing the spot. “I’m under stress. That was an emotionally justified fuck, I stand by it.”

She shot me a stern glare and urged me to carry on.

“Anyway, half the labs are backed up. The MRI won’t be read until after the holidays. EEG’s delayed. So we’re just…waiting.”

Natalie nodded slowly. “I know it’s frustrating, but this is normal.”

“I don’t do well with normal,” I said flatly.

She reached out and rested her hand on my arm, “I know you’re worried,” she said, gently squeezing. “But this is how it usually goes. Once the results are in, Malcolm will have a clearer picture and know what to do next.”

I stayed quiet.

“He’s a very good doctor, trust me,” she added assuringly, “I’ve referred patients to him for years. He has great experience, and he’ll figure this out, I am sure.”

I nodded, but that didn’t mean I liked any of it. I hated it when things were out of my control.

I sighed and reached for the plate, grabbed a cookie, only to have my hand smacked.

“We’ll have dinner first!” Natalie shot out.

“Stop that,” I grumbled as I picked the cookie right back up and bit the gingerbread man’s head clean off, “You’re such a bad host.”

She rolled her eyes and went back to prepping, but then paused, like something had just clicked. “Oh, Malcolm also asked if you could get access to her family’s medical records,” she said. “Some of this could be hereditary. It would make the prognosis clearer.”

I lowered the now-headless gingerbread man slowly, blinking at her.

“I actually think it is hereditary,” I said in realization, “Aylin once told me her grandmother was…like her in a way.”

Natalie’s eyebrows pulled closer, “Really?”

I nodded, already mentally rearranging my priorities. “I’ll get those records.”

Aylin’s mother was going to cooperate, politely or otherwise. I’m very convincing when I need to be.

⊹˚₊‧────────────‧₊˚⊹

Dinner wasn’t…a complete disaster.

Which, by my standards, qualified as a minor miracle.

I clocked a few missing people, like Max, Lilly’s brother, and most importantly, Natalie and Ronald’s father, which was…weird. I didn’t ask though, didn’t care enough to.

Aylin eventually came back with Lilly, and she still hadn’t spoken to me. The room was loud enough to give her an excuse, too many voices, and too many people, but I knew better. I forced her to sit next to me regardless. She talked to everyone else, laughed at the right moments, and nodded along.

Just not at me.

All because of one fucking person.

Naturally, my gaze drifted to the knife resting innocently on the table, assessing it. Stainless steel, it looked sharp enough, practical, and quite tempting.

Lilly sat on my other side, ever pleased with herself, enjoying the chaos like the little menace she was. I picked up the knife slowly, already envisioning several uses for it—

When Aylin’s hand shot out and wrapped around my wrist, like she’d read my violent thoughts.

She snatched the knife away, her eyes flicking to mine in a sharp warning that screamed don’t.

I leaned closer, my voice low. “Why aren’t you talking to me?”

She narrowed her eyes at me, her grip tightening on her fork, “Well, I recently learned that you’re apparently a man-whore.”

My eyebrow raised, “I don’t see what’s so shocking about that,” I muttered. “How do you think I got this good at pleasing you? Definitely didn’t read it in a book.”

Her nostrils flared, and she turned her face away from me, stabbing her fork into the meat, “Unbelievable.”

“Very believable, actually,” I said calmly. “So I’ve slept with several women before we met. So what?”

She turned to me fully then, “It’s because you never told me anything,” she said. “I’ve only had one relationship before you, and you know everything about it. Meanwhile, I know nothing about you.”

“You know the important stuff, and those were insignificant details, god, I barely remember their names.”

“That’s not comforting.”

“It should be.”

“You know, the more you talk, the more I want to scratch your face.”

I smiled. “You say that like it’s a threat.”

“It is.”

I slid my hand under the table, gripping her thigh, “Aylin,” I said quietly, “Come on, those weren’t relationships. I didn’t know anything about them, god, I didn’t even care.”

I searched for the right words and hated that I needed them. “No one ever did to me what you do,” I added. “No one…rearranged me like this.”

She dismantled me, took the carefully stacked ruins I’d learned to live inside, and knocked them over.

She made me hesitate where I used to strike. Made me think of consequences, of futures, of next fucking Christmases I never believed in. She made me want to stay, and I’ve never felt anything more terrifying than that.

“Besides, I never wrote about any of them.”

Her eyebrows pulled closer, “What?”

“I didn’t write about them,” I repeated, “You, on the other hand, I wrote you the first time we met.”

Her gaze softened as she searched my face, something fragile flickering there, but then, she seemed to notice something else, or more like someone else, because her eyes slid past me.

I turned.

Lilly was sitting right there, her elbow planted on the table, chin in her hand, casually munching on a chip. She blinked at us, utterly unbothered.

“Oh no,” she said around a crunch. “Please, carry on, carry on, don’t let me interrupt whatever this is.”

“That was very moving, really,” she added, her eyes flicking between us. “Like…get a room, obviously, but also? I was invested.” Another crunch. “Are you two always like this, or did I just catch a special episode?”

I was so close to exploding…so fucking close.

Lilly pointed the chip at me, her lips twitching. “Didn’t know you had that in you, Nathy,” she cooed. “You’re kinda adorable when you’re in love.”

That was it.

My chair screeched as I started to stand, every violent instinct I own clocking in early and fast. Crowd? Forgotten. Consequences? Irrelevant. Lilly was about to meet her maker tonight.

I didn’t even make it halfway up before Aylin gasped and latched onto me, her arms wrapping around my torso like she was restraining a wild animal. “Nathan,” she hissed, horrified. “Stay. Put.”

I turned to her, taken aback, momentarily forgetting my murderous intent because her entire body was pressed into mine, so warm and distracting as hell.

Lilly chuckled because the rest of the table had caught our little moment. Aylin noticed that, too, so she immediately released me, retreating back into her seat, her face flaming red as she stared down at her plate, hair falling forward to cover her adorably flushed face.

I turned to Lilly, who broke into a big smile and gave me a wink. She nudged me with her elbow, “You’re so cute together,” She muttered, only for me to hear, “I so ship it.”

I exhaled through my nose, “When you die, it’s gonna be on my hands.”

“Aww, will you…write about that, too?” She asked, ever so teasingly. She even air-quoted the word write, just to be a menace.

I was this close to removing her from my list of tolerated humans and promoting her directly to my hit list.

Anyway, I chose self-preservation for now and ignored her.

Once dinner finally ended and people scattered in every direction, I grabbed my princess’s arm and dragged her toward the nearest empty room. The second we were alone, I stopped. She looked up at me with those wide, innocently confused eyes.

“Are you mad at me?” I asked. I needed to fix that. Immediately.

She shook her head. “No,” she said softly. Then she sighed. “It’s just…I don’t know,” she admitted. “The thought of you with someone else just makes me feel…not good.”

I tilted my head. “How not good?”

She shrugged helplessly. “Like it slightly hurts,” she mumbled, “And it kind of triggered this urge in me to…punch someone.”

I chuckled lowly and stepped closer, my hand sliding to her waist, “You complain about me all the time,” I murmured, “but you’re just as territorial.”

She scoffed. “No. You’re a caveman. I’m just—”

“You’re just what?”

She hesitated, then met my eyes. “Protective…I guess?” she said, “I just don’t like the idea of sharing…you.”

That did something violent and wonderful to my insides. She has a way of wrecking me without ever lifting a hand, of making it feel like she’s just as deep in this ruin as I am.

“I told you this before, but after I saw you that first time on the plane, I never really saw anyone else.” I said quietly, “It’s not possible, you blinded me.”

I lifted a hand and tucked her hair behind her ear. She leaned into it without thinking. “Three, four months passed before we met again, and even then, you stayed on my mind, always, and I couldn’t for the love of me even think or look at anyone else.”

Her eyes softened, fragile in a way she never let anyone else see. “It’s just…knowing about that, it made me feel like I could be just another chapter in your book, Nathan,” She shook her head, “I really don’t want that.”

“Fuck that,” I said. “You’re the whole book, princess,” I admitted, “The original copy and all, stamped and signed by the author himself,” I added, and she smiled, “Even with a very enthusiastic note on the cover about how much he enjoys making you cum all over his—”

She slapped her hand over my mouth. “Don’t,” she warned, chuckling softly. “Do not ruin the moment.”

I kissed the inside of her palm, “You’re the whole book,” I repeated because I meant it, “And the rest of these people in my life, they’re just footnotes.”

Her fingers slid down, gripping my collar. “You’re so terrible at this reassurance thing.”

I smiled, “I’m excellent at the truth thing.”

She smiled despite herself, then her gaze flicked upward. Her nose scrunched in that adorable way that should be illegal. “We’re standing under a mistletoe,” she murmured.

I glanced up at the ugly green menace. “Yeah?”

Her eyes widened. “You don’t know what that means?”

I frowned. “No.”

She squinted at me. “Have you learned nothing from the movies I made you watch?”

“I learned you have terrible taste in cinema,” I said. “But please enlighten me.” I leaned closer, “What does it mean? Do I get to fuck you under it or something because I am all game?”

“No, you psycho,” she breathed, “it means this,” she said, right before her hand fisted my collar and yanked me down just as her lips slammed into mine. Oh, sweet heaven.

Something feral snapped loose in my chest, claws and teeth and all restraint gone in a blink. Her mouth moved against mine with purpose, claiming, demanding, like she was trying to wipe every other thought out of my head and replace it with just her.

It worked.

Her hand slid from my collar to the back of my neck, her fingers curling tight, keeping me exactly where she wanted me. Well, good luck trying to stop me.

A low groan tore out of my chest as I kissed her back harder, swallowing the soft sound she made when I finally took control. My hand slid from her cheek into her hair, my fingers threading tight, angling her mouth just right so I could claim it properly. Slow was never my thing, nor was mercy.

She melted into me anyway.

I pressed her into the wall beneath the stupid green plant, watching us, probably judging us silently. My body crowded hers, with nowhere to run, my forehead resting against hers for half a breath while we caught it.

“If this is what it does,” I murmured against her lips, my breath wrecked, “I’m hanging one in every corner of my house.”

Her soft laugh was breathless, and so damn dangerous.

Dear god, I was doomed.

⊹˚₊‧────────────‧₊˚⊹

My princess had consumed far more eggnog than she should’ve, stacked neatly on top of the wine from dinner, so yeah, she was officially done for.

She leaned into me as I wrapped an arm around her waist, keeping her upright and, frankly, out of trouble. She looped her arm around me in return, so sweet and clingy. Then, her hand slid lower, way lower, and she ran it over my ass before she patted it.

I glanced down at her, one eyebrow lifting slowly. “I think I like drunk you,” I said, “She’s bold.”

She chuckled, her eyes hazy and unapologetic. I leaned down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m absolutely taking full advantage of this later.”

Snowflakes clung to her lashes, melting into tiny sparkles as I brushed them away with my thumb. We were outside because Lilly had forced us to play with the snow, because apparently, she’s eight years old forever.

They started building a stupid snowman, and I built a dick with balls and all, the resemblance was uncanny but Lilly stepped on.

Predictably, the innocent game escalated quickly after that.

Somehow, through no fault of my own, I ended up burying Lilly under the snow. Ten feet deep. Give or take. I was very satisfied with myself.

Unfortunately, she recovered and teamed up with Little Nathan and Aylin, forming what I can only describe as a highly coordinated threat, then snowballs came flying. I took one to the shoulder, then another to the chest.

A third one caught me off guard enough to send me stumbling backward into the snow.

I went down hard.

My princess laughed, really laughed, her head tipped back, her cheeks pink from cold and wine and joy as she watched me fall.

Fuck, it was so worth it.

I pulled her into me now before she could wobble again, wrapping her up, “I should take you home,” I murmured.

“Uhmm,” she hummed softly, her eyelids drooping as she buried her face into my chest.

I was already turning us toward my car when a hand landed on my shoulder from behind. I paused and turned around, my eyes falling on Nikolas.

My eyebrow lifted in a silent what now. His gaze swept my face first, “You’re not drunk, are you?”

I shook my head, “No, I only had wine with dinner,” I said.

His eyes dropped to Aylin, who was practically half-asleep against me, completely trusting. Then they snapped back to mine. “We need to talk. Tomorrow.”

I frowned. “Why?”

His jaw clenched, “A little something that includes you, my son, and Wyatt.”

Oh.

I let out a breath through my nose. “Your son and your nephew are inside,” I said flatly. “Ask them.” I turned away from him, already done with the conversation. “I’ve got nothing to say.”

I walked away, settled my princess carefully into the car, buckled her in, and drove us home.

By the time we arrived, she was barely conscious, in and out of it, and totally de-energized. I helped her out of her clothes, pulled one of my shirts over her, then changed myself and fell into bed beside her, pulling her body into me.

She fit there too easily.

She curled closer, snuggling into me, her fingers fisting the fabric of my shirt as if she needed proof I was real. Her breathing slowed, uneven but peaceful.

“Nathan?” she murmured.

I brushed her hair back, my thumb softly caressing her cheek, “Yes, baby.”

Her lips curved slightly up, her eyes closed still, and then she did the one thing she was never supposed to do.

She tilted my world upside down when she softly muttered, “I think I love you.”

⊹˚₊‧──────────────────────‧₊˚⊹

Author’s note:

Hey!
This is my belated Christmas gift, I delivered it late, sowwy 🙁

This chapter was supposed to be up on Thursday but I got sick and just looking at the screen gave me a headache, so I couldn’t resume it.

The chapter was supposed to be longer actually, with more chaotic family moments but if I am going to wait to get better to write those, then I would’ve made you wait longer.

So I decided to just publish this version now, so here you go, it’s a little bit not edited and a first draft, but I hope you liked it!

Also, let’s hope Nathan doesn’t run for the hills after this slightly drunk confession xD

Love ya all 🩶