Chapter 54

Nathan’s POV

Well.

Fuck.

I finally did it.

I actually went insane.

I stared at her for another second, then another, but nothing changed.

She didn’t flicker, didn’t dissolve into dust, didn’t vanish away.

She simply…remained there.

I’d always imagined that when I eventually lost my mind, it’d be dramatic, spectacular in a way. You know, the whole blood on the walls, dead bodies all over the place, hearing voices in my head, seeing demons, something cinematic, you know, not…not this.

Apparently, my psychosis had an excellent taste. Of course, it’d hallucinate her out of everything and everyone.

If my subconscious was going to betray me after six months of desperately trying to hold myself together, naturally, it’d choose the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.

She stood there looking exactly as I remembered, but this…this was painfully precise.

My gaze travelled over every inch of her. The same green eyes, the same adorable nose, the same pouty pink lips, the same golden hair, even…even that tiny crease between her brows before she cried.

God.

Even my hallucinations remembered details.

That’s commitment.

If I had a therapist only, he would’ve had an absolute field day hearing this. He’d tell me my prognosis was terminal for sure.

She placed Luna down and started walking toward me. My eyes widened slightly, and I almost stumbled back.

Hallucinations weren’t supposed to move on their own…were they? I am still new here. Can someone help me, please?

She took another step, getting far too close that I could see the tears gathering in her eyes and the tiny tremble in her lower lip.

My breathing became uneven. Fucking hell, could hallucinations make your heart feel like it was trying to punch its way out through your ribs? Was that possible?

My chest hurt.

Everything hurt.

Still…I didn’t move, couldn’t, because if this was another cruel trick my mind had invented, I wanted to stay inside it for one more second, just one more.

Her lips curved upward, so slowly, and she…smiled.

God, don’t do that. My brain had never properly managed her smile. It always made it too perfect, too forgiving, but this one, this one was breaking while it existed, trembling, fragile, imperfectly perfect, and just as terrified as I was…

“Nathan…”

Everything inside me stopped. Fuuckkk.

Before I could convince myself my mind had simply learned a new trick, she stepped another fraction closer. The air shifted all around me, my lungs filling with jasmine before I gave them permission to breathe. The scent hit me so violently that my knees almost gave out.

My hand rose on instinct, impossibly slow, as though I were reaching through water instead of air. I didn’t trust my own body anymore. One wrong movement and she might…disappear.

The back of my fingers brushed the loose strand of hair resting against her cheek.

The sensation, her warmth, her scent, the feel of her like silk slipping beneath my fingertips…

She didn’t vanish. Instead, she leaned into my touch…a small, barely there movement, yet it shattered me more completely than anything else ever had.

The breath I’d been holding for six months escaped me all at once.

My heart forgot its rhythm altogether as something enormous cracked through my ribs.

Hope.

Disbelief.

Relief.

Terror.

They collided so violently inside my chest I couldn’t separate one from the other anymore.

“Princess…” I breathed, my voice breaking around the word.

No.

No, this couldn’t—

My throat closed around the words, still counting on this to be a dream, a hallucination. There was no way she’d be here, no way…

“You’re real,” I whispered.

Her smile widened somberly, a few tears slipping down her cheek, and she let out a low, broken laugh. “Of course, I am,” She mumbled, tilting her head slightly, seeking my touch, leaning into it. “You are not hallucinating. I am the one with the defective brain, not you…did you forget that?” She added playfully, her voice reviving something in me, something that was dormant for so long.

My thumb drifted across the curve of her cheek almost on its own, painfully slow, relearning the shape of her. She leaned further into me, her lids dropping down for a second, and I felt this…this unbearable burn in my eyes like god forbid I might cry or something…I wouldn’t, right? What the fuck was happening?

She was here…she…she shouldn’t be here. What the—

I pulled my hand away so abruptly that she startled, blinking at me in shock. I stepped back, building distance, gathering the scattered pieces of me together. My fingers twitched beside me almost immediately, already mourning the absence of her skin. Pathetic. Utterly fucking pathetic.

I swallowed down, my jaw clenching so hard it hurt. “What are you doing here?”

The roughness in my tone had her shift on her feet nervously, gazing at me with big, innocent eyes, slightly taken aback by the sudden shift in my stance. Her lips parted, but no words came out.

“How did you even get here?”

Nothing made sense anymore.

“Uhm, Adam dropped me…” Her eyes widened slightly when she saw something dark pass across my face. “But uh, it is not his fault, don’t be mad at him, I made him do it…”

I cursed something under my breath and fished the phone out of my pocket, dialing the soon-to-be-dead fucker instantly. The phone rang, but no answer came.

“What are you doing?” Aylin asked, taking a step closer.

I took a step back. “Calling him,” I grumbled, rushing a hand over my face. Fuck, why was she here? Why would she do this to me now?

“Why?”

“So, he’d take you the fuck away from here, that’s why,” I grated out.

“But…why? I just got here,” She mumbled ever so weakly, forcing me to look at her face, fuck, I shouldn’t look at her face…it’s breaking down every ounce of self-control I taught myself, it’s tearing down my walls, brick by fucking brick.

“And you shouldn’t be here, you know that very well,” I shot back at her, my voice crueler than it should be, “I can’t fucking believe this.”

The phone disconnected, going straight to voicemail. I swore under my breath and called him again. I needed her gone, now, instantly, or…

Soft fingers rested over my forearm, curling gently, trying to stop me. The single little touch had a full-blown static ring in my head, my entire nervous system lit up, and every coherent thought vanished…

I stared at her hand gripping my sleeve, then slowly lifted my eyes. She was looking at me the way drowning people looked at the shore, like I’d somehow become the only place left to breathe.

Eyes still red.

Still wet.

Still impossibly full of me.

Christ…

“Can we…” she whispered, “…at least talk first?”

I slipped my arm from her grasp, my skin on literal fire. “There isn’t anything left to talk about.” The lie scraped its way out of my throat. “You need to leave…I don’t know what the hell you were thinking coming here.”

Six months, six fucking months of progress…gone in under a minute.

I sidestepped her, walking away before my body betrayed me completely. Every instinct screamed at me to turn around, to pull her into my arms, to apologize, to bury my face in her neck and hair and forget the world had ever existed.

Instead, I kept walking.

Distance, I needed it.

Distance had saved us before…or at least, that’s the bedtime story I’d been forcing down my own throat for half a year.

The glass doors slid open beneath my hand, and cold air slapped against my face. I stepped onto the deck so quickly it almost looked like escaping. I was actually…escaping and running away from her. She was too close, too real, too catastrophically bad for every miserable little piece of sanity I thought I owned.

Her warmth was still lingering against my fingertips, her voice still echoing inside my skull, her bloody jasmine had somehow crawled beneath my skin and started haunting me from the inside. It was disturbing all of my systems, messing with my fucking head.

But…fresh air, right? That’s supposed to help.

Yeah, an absolute scam. Turns out oxygen becomes remarkably useless when the thing suffocating you is standing ten feet behind you.

I braced both hands against the railing and stared at the water below. The waves hurled themselves against the cliffs over and over again. Didn’t matter how many times they broke apart…they came back anyway. Idiots. Hopeless, obsessive little idiots. They remind me of someone.

Restless, I pulled my phone from my pocket and texted Adam to get the fuck back here as soon as possible. I was going to kill him right after he takes her far away from me. I texted him that too, you know, a fair warning from my side felt polite before I murdered him for good.

My fingers tightened around the phone so hard when I realized that she had followed me back here. I could hear the quiet rhythm of her footsteps behind me, feel her getting closer, sense the warmth of her body creeping into the cold air around mine.

Fucking hell, this woman…how did she make her way into my bloodstream? How did she reach into places no amount of distance, self-destruction, or psychological warfare had managed to disinfect?

She paused by the door, looking at me. I could feel her gaze, but I didn’t turn to her.

If I turned around…I’d look at her.

If I looked at her…I’d touch her.

And if I touched her again…

There wouldn’t be a force left on this earth capable of making me let her go a second time.

Breathe.

Count the waves.

Don’t turn around.

Don’t—

Think about literally anything else.

Taxes.

Politics.

Murder.

Adam’s funeral.

Fuck…nothing worked.

I silently begged the demons living inside my head to do their bloody jobs for once, to distract me, to start screaming, to throw me another fucking nightmare, but even my demons were trembling, slightly shaken off their axis upon seeing her.

What can they do…they love her, too. They had gone soft for her. Can’t really blame them.

She moved closer, breaking the distance, crossing the boundaries, and she paused right next to me. Her fingers settled against the railing beside mine, close enough that our hands almost touched.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw her, how her gaze drifted to the ocean and to the waves, how the wind kept stealing strands of her hair…the lucky bastard. I wanted to tuck them back behind her ear myself.

Fuck, no. My brain really was committed to my downfall.

Her fingers absentmindedly tapped against the railing, trying to find the right words to say and not trigger me any further. The tiny wrinkle between her brows deepened as she thought too hard, her teeth digging into her lower lip, chewing at the corner.

Christ, I’d memorized this woman down to the smallest involuntary movements.

Obsessive?

Probably.

Psychologically concerning?

Without question.

Worth it?

Hm…let’s not answer that.

Because if I started being honest, I’d have to admit that if she quietly reached over and took my hand right now, I’d follow her absolutely anywhere, even somewhere that ended with my own destruction…especially there.

I’ve never had the healthiest relationship with things that could destroy me. History would argue I lacked a refined taste in survival.

“It’s still so beautiful over here.” The words left her in a low, awed voice.

Adam, where the fuck are you?

“It’s been more than a year since you brought me here, for our…our first date, can you believe that?” She added, her voice carrying that soft breathlessness.

The sun was slowly bleeding itself into the horizon, spilling gold into amber, amber surrendering to crimson. The dying light crawled across the deck, climbed over the railing, then shamelessly chose her over the rest of the world. It wrapped itself around her fingers, kissed the back of her hand resting beside mine.

My hand twitched.

My little finger drifted the slightest fraction closer to hers, aching for that microscopic touch as though it’d somehow be my fucking salvation.

“Time passes so fast, doesn’t it?” she murmured, something unbearably sad settling beneath her voice, and that was the moment she turned her head and looked at me.

My skin tightened and every muscle locked. My head betrayed me, turning until those eyes found mine.

The green wilderness in them swallowed me whole, pulling me behind their secret gate and locking it shut.

The sunset drowned inside them before it painted her skin in liquid gold, turning the loose strands of her hair into burning threads, catching on her lashes, lingering over her lips, on the curve of her cheek….

Fucking hell, are we absolutely certain she’s real?

This still felt suspiciously like a hallucination, because why would she come all the way here? For me?

People don’t come back. They never did, at least not in my story.

Or maybe…maybe I somehow died today, and maybe this was heaven.

Although, let’s be realistic. Men like me don’t end up in heaven. No, this had to be hell.

It certainly hurt enough to qualify.

“If it does, then why do these past six months feel like someone stole ten years from my life?” I found myself talking, responding to her words.

Her throat bobbed, and the little line between her brows deepened.

Her lips parted, “Nathan, I…”

“I need you to leave,” I interrupted whatever she was about to say.

“I will, but after you hear me out.”

“I don’t want to hear you out.”

Every time I pushed her away, another little light disappeared from her eyes. Her fingers tightened over the rail, her throat bobbing, “Why?”

“Because…” The truth climbed halfway up my throat before my pride strangled it.

“…Because?” she asked again.

“Because you just can’t help yourself, can you?” I clung to the anger like it was the last solid thing left beneath my feet. “You have this unbelievable talent for ruining every place I try to run to.”

Once I started, I couldn’t seem to stop.

“I came here because this place held memories far worse than you. Funny thing is, the second I stepped foot in here, every single one of them got shoved aside just to make room for you.” I grated out, my fingers twitching again before curling into my palm. “I keep crossing countries trying to get away from you.”

“And somehow…” I let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh. “You still beat me here.”

Her eyes shimmered.

Mine burned.

“Honestly…” I motioned vaguely toward her, “…I’m still not entirely convinced you’re even real.”

“My brain’s become alarmingly creative lately. I wouldn’t put it past the bloody thing to fabricate this entire conversation just to finish the job.” I added with a scoff, “For all I know, this is simply the last symptom proving they should’ve locked me away months ago.”

Her gaze dropped, like she couldn’t keep carrying the weight of mine. She wiped beneath her eye, and somewhere inside my head I kept repeating that she was not real…maybe I’d finally convince myself with it, and she’d disappear.

She looked back up, those teary eyes meeting mine again, a few confused, worried lines tightening her forehead. “But…you said that you loved this place,” She muttered, addressing my earlier comment.

I nodded, “Yeah, loved it and hated it the same amount.” My gaze drifted across the deck. “I’ve always had an unhealthy habit of confusing homes with…graveyards.”

My eyes settled on the pool first, where the memory of her from a year ago lived. Then, they wandered farther, toward the far corner of the deck where the little stone wall still stood exactly as I’d once left it.

Or maybe…exactly as it’d left me.

For a second, I didn’t see the wall anymore. I saw a little boy, with broken ribs, blood drying on his skin, a heartbeat still stupid enough to believe somebody would come back for him.

“When my father died…” My voice sounded strangely distant. “They brought his body here because apparently being buried in the right country mattered or something,” I kept staring at that corner. “So, they brought me along, left me here all alone while they went to bury him and take care of everything.”

“I was still injured from the explosion I’d just survived. I had just seen my father’s dead body. I had just learned that…that Natalie, Nikolas, and Ronald did all of that to me, or that’s what I was told, anyway,” I added.

“I remember sitting over there, and I remember crying,” I remember choking, not being able to breathe, my chest hurting so much I genuinely thought the grief could kill me.

“I kept on crying so hard that I didn’t even feel the time pass…everything just disappeared,” I mumbled. “I got here while the sun was still high, and when I finally looked up again…”

I inhaled, then exhaled, trying to get that ugly feeling out of me.

“…The sun was rising again, and I kept staring at it,” My lips twitched somberly. “It had been beautiful, in a cruel way, the sort of beautiful that reminds you the world keeps moving with astonishing indifference while yours quietly ends.”

My eyes lifted toward the horizon where evening was quietly killing daylight.

“I stopped crying for a few minutes only because I forgot how,” I added, “But when the morning came, I remembered and started again. I just couldn’t stop. They left me here for two days, I think, and I didn’t even move once. I stayed in that corner till they came back for me.”

I didn’t tell her the part where I kept waiting for my father, or for…Natalie and Nikolas to walk back through those doors because children are embarrassingly optimistic creatures.

I looked back at her, watching a few tears slip silently down her cheeks. She was still here…how? I thought if I told her about my nightmares, she’d disappear, she’d dissolve into one herself, but she was still here.

“This was the place where I spent most of my happy moments with him,” My voice softened despite myself. “And somehow it had to be the place where I grieved him.”

My throat tightened. “Then, years later…I brought you here.”

“I brought you here when I first realized you were becoming something more, much more to me, someone I couldn’t survive losing. You see, this place had already witnessed the worst grief I’d ever known, so I suppose some twisted part of me wanted it to witness my happiest memory too.”

It was the place where the innocent kid Nathan died. Bringing her here was the equivalent of saying…this is where my soul is buried. If anyone deserves to see it, it’s you.

Well, I don’t think I’d even realised that until now.

“But then…” I wanted to laugh at myself as I recalled that day, “Well, what a stupid fucking idea that turned out to be, huh.”

The sunset slowly burned itself to death behind her, its last light surrendering to the sea.

“So here I am again…running from yet another nightmare, and you were never supposed to be part of this one, so why are you still here?”

She didn’t answer. Her lips remained slightly parted. Her eyes stayed fixed on mine, glassy with tears that had already escaped, slowly tracing the curve of her cheek before disappearing at the corner of her mouth.

My jaw tightened, and I unlocked my phone again and dialled Adam for what had to be the millionth time today.

She noticed and quickly wiped at her cheeks with her sleeve before reaching into the pocket of her shorts. She pulled out a phone and held it up to me, showing me the screen, where my name was shown, calling.

“I kind of confiscated his phone,” She mumbled, clearing her throat, and I ended the unnecessary call, glaring at the screen in her hand that went off right then.

“I knew you’d call him to come and get me, and Adam has this infuriating habit of listening to you, and I just…I couldn’t leave before we talked, Nathan.” Her voice softened around my name. “Please…stop pushing me away. Just…hear me out.”

My jaw ticked as I shoved my phone back into my pocket and brushed past her without another word.

If she refused to leave, then I would.

I walked straight through the living room toward the front door.

“Nathan, wait,” She said, coming after me.

I kept on walking.

“Nathan!”

Her steps grew louder.

So did mine.

I almost tripped over Luna as she darted in front of me, letting out an accusing little meow that sounded suspiciously judgmental.

The second my hand wrapped around the doorknob, two arms crashed around my waist from behind with enough force to knock every coherent thought clean out of my head.

My entire body stopped, froze, when her chest collided with my back.

She held onto me with both arms as though she genuinely believed I’d disappear if she loosened her grip for even a second, like I was the hallucination, the dream, and not her.

My heartbeat turned feral, loud, a caged animal throwing itself against my ribs, trying to escape first, run far away from here.

“Nathan…” she broke apart against my back, her voice hoarse, raw, and angry. “Why are you doing this? Why?”

I couldn’t answer.

I couldn’t breathe.

I couldn’t even remember how to fucking move.

Her fingers curled into the fabric of my shirt from the front, twisting it, clinging onto me with all of her might.

“You left me. You…you were the one who left without saying a word. I should be the one pushing you away. I should be the one mad at you…I am, I am so mad at you,” Her words dissolved into tears and low sobs, “Because you broke all of your promises. You told me even if my brain abandoned me, you wouldn’t, but you did, you did…”

Her tears soaked through the back of my shirt, warm against my skin.

I pressed my eyes shut as everything inside me splintered.

My hand tightened around the doorknob.

Turn it.

Leave.

Now.

Nothing happened. My fingers refused to obey.

Move, come on, step ahead, come on, run, run, run…

Nothing again, not a single muscle listened, not even a bloody twitch.

My own body had officially joined her side, too.

Her forehead rested between my shoulder blades. I could feel the tiny tremors running through her. She was shaking, for god’s sake.

She was shaking because of me.

Fuck, why was I still trying to leave? Why couldn’t I just…stay?

“Nathan…” She whispered, her chest hiccuping lowly, “I just found you, I don’t want to lose you again.”

That did it.

That one single word…

After everything I’d done to disappear…she’d found me.

My hand slowly loosened around the doorknob. I heard the metal click as my fingers finally let go.

My arm fell uselessly to my side. Then, almost against my own will, it lifted again, so slowly, painfully reaching for her through six months of separation instead of air.

My hand found hers where they clung desperately to my shirt. They were cold and shaking. I covered them both, brushing her knuckles with my thumb. She sucked in a sharp, trembling breath.

We stayed like that.

Neither moving.

Neither breathing.

The whole world seemed to hold itself perfectly still around us. God, even the ocean had forgotten how to make noise.

“I tried.”

God…

I tried.

“I really…” My throat closed. “…I really tried.”

I turned around, still holding her hands. She didn’t let go of me either, still gripping my shirt even as I faced her.

She blinked up at me with wet lashes, utterly exhausted, her eyes swollen, nose pink, hair caught by the wind. Beautiful in that devastating sort of way disasters sometimes are. She was my disaster, my undoing, my…one and only.

“But I can’t do it anymore, princess, I…” Another breath, “…really fucking can’t.”

The distance between us stopped existing.

I reached for her.

Or maybe she reached for me.

I don’t know.

I only knew that suddenly my arms were around her, hauling her against me with enough desperation to make up for every second we’d spent apart.

Closer.

Closer.

Still not close enough.

She buried herself against my chest, crying, breathing, sobbing, all at once.

I buried my face in her hair and pulled her so tightly against me that her feet lifted clean off the floor.

I closed my eyes.

I lost.

…

Thank God.

I didn’t let her go…wasn’t planning to anytime soon. My fingers bunched up in her hair, threading through the soft strands with an almost desperate reverence, terrified they’d reach empty air if I moved too quickly.

God, her scent…the jasmine threaded itself through me with terrifying familiarity, taking root somewhere beneath my sternum. I buried my nose in the spot between her hair and ear, breathing her in like a dying man finally remembering what oxygen was supposed to feel like.

Turns out air had never been the thing keeping me alive.

It had always been her.

She held onto me just as fiercely, her fingers digging into my back through my shirt. She melted into my chest so completely that I couldn’t tell where her heartbeat ended, and mine began.

They stumbled over each other, missed beats, and found them again.

Every part of me was still waiting for someone to wake me up, for her to dissolve into sunlight, into memory.

So I held her tighter.

If reality wanted to steal her from me again…it was going to have to pry her out of my arms first.

I felt her inhale against my chest, then exhale a small, trembling breath. Relief…it bled out of her and somehow found its way into me.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, I leaned back just enough to see her. My hands found her face immediately, and my thumbs brushed beneath her eyes.

She looked up at me, utterly wrecked, lashes still wet, lips trembling into the smallest smile as she murmured, “I missed you so much.”

“Well…” My own lips twitched too, my heart an absolute fucking liability. “That makes two of us.”

My thumb brushed beneath her eyes again, tracing the tops of her cheeks as I studied her, inspecting every little detail, searching for everything that had changed while I was stupid enough to let her go.

Christ, she’d somehow become even more beautiful. Didn’t seem medically possible, but here we bloody are.

“You’re sure you’re real?” I asked again.

Her nose wrinkled as her smile widened, a tiny laugh escaping her, “I think so.”

“Hm.” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “That’s exactly what a hallucination would say.”

She laughed again and shrugged, “Yeah, well, maybe we’ve both gone mad after all.”

“Wouldn’t put it past us.”

She tilted her head, studying me. “So, what would convince you?”

My gaze wandered from her eyes, down the bridge of her nose, across her cheeks, my fingertips following the same lazy journey until they paused at the corner of her mouth.

“I might have a working hypothesis,” I murmured. “It’s still in the experimental phase, though.”

Her smile deepened, “Oh?”

“Mhm,” I nodded gravely. “Further testing is required.”

“And are you qualified to conduct this…highly sophisticated testing?” Oh, she was a tease. God, I’d missed her and this…

“Yeah, I have excellent instincts.”

“You have terrible instincts, Nathan.”

I shrugged. “Opinions might vary on that, but yeah, I’m willing to risk it for science.”

“Of course you are.”

I nodded. “I’m a remarkably selfless man, a blessing to society, really.”

She chuckled and shook her head, lost in this moment like me. “Hmm, yeah, and have you ever done anything selfless in your life?”

“Yeah, I left you.”

The smile slowly disappeared from both our faces.

Yeah, great job, me.

I sighed and brushed my thumb across the corner of her mouth. “Right, okay, let’s pretend I didn’t ruin the moment and go back to determining whether you’re real or not.”

She smiled sadly, whispering, “And how will you do that?”

“If I kiss you and you disappear…” I shrugged lightly. “Psychosis…meaning Nathan should be locked away.”

I closed the remaining distance. “But if you kiss me back,” My lips ghosted over hers. “I’ll finally let myself believe you came back for me.”

I didn’t think.

I couldn’t.

I kissed her, and the second my lips brushed hers, every last doubt died.

No hallucination could’ve detonated my chest like this. I nearly fucking moaned when I felt her plump lips beneath my own, and my heart stumbled so violently it genuinely forgot whose job it was to keep me alive.

I gripped her face, my fingers digging into the soft skin of her cheeks, and slammed my mouth deeper onto hers. I didn’t want to just kiss her…I wanted to invade her, to claim her back, to take all of her, my tongue forcing its way past her lips, tasting the heat of her mouth with years-old pent-up hunger.

A low groan ripped from my throat, vibrating against her lips as I felt her breath hitch, gasping at the intense contact. Her arms snuck around my neck, fingers diving through my hair as she opened those lips for me, meeting my aggression with a frantic energy that nearly knocked the wind out of me.

I backed her up, my shoes scuffing the floor until her shoulder blades hit the wall with a heavy thud. I didn’t let up for a second, pinning her there with the full weight of my body. I tilted her head back, exposing the pale line of her throat, and drove my tongue deep, tasting her, fucking hell, I was feasting on her.

She let out a muffled whimper, her body pressing into mine, molding into it, getting closer to me the more I pulled her. Her nails dug deep into the nape of my neck, scraping skin, sending a jolt of electric madness straight to my gut. I was fucking unraveling, the thin veil of my control snapping.

I broke the kiss for the briefest fraction of a second. “You’re real,” I breathed, the words scraping their way out of my throat as I brushed her lips with mine, “God, you’re so fucking real.”

Before she could breathe a word, I crashed back into her with an almost predatory violence, tasting the salt of her old tears and the heat of her mouth. I devoured her lips, nibbling and then biting down hard on her lower lip I nearly drew blood.

The wolf inside me roared, clawing at my ribs, screaming to rip and tear, to claim every inch of her, but she wasn’t just a prey. No, she was the only thing in this godforsaken world that could stand against me, tame the wolf with nothing but a touch, make it lay its head in her lap and forget it had ever been born with fangs.

My only match, my axis, she was my fucking everything.

My hand cupped the side of her neck, my thumb brushing the soft skin, tracing and searching for my favorite rhythm in this whole world. My fingertips grazed something uneven, a faint ridge beneath warm skin, and everything in me ceased…

The air vanished from my lungs.

The rush she’d poured into my veins plummeted straight out of my body, leaving behind nothing but cold. My lips slowed against hers before they finally fell away altogether as I edged back the smallest fraction, my eyes dropping to her neck, to the scar engraved right over her pulse, still faintly red, still impossibly real, still exactly where my favourite place in the world used to be.

Memories of that day rushed back in waves. The blood soaking through my fingers. The shattered glass scattered across the floor. The dead look in her eyes…it all crashed into me so violently my stomach lurched.

I dragged in a ragged breath as black spots crowded the edges of my vision, the room tilting almost imperceptibly beneath my feet.

My trembling thumb hovered over the scar without touching it again.

Aylin’s hand found my face, her fingertips brushing my cheek with impossible gentleness, trying to pull me back. “Nathan,” she mumbled softly.

I forced myself to blink through the haze until her eyes came back into focus. “Maybe we…” I swallowed hard. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this. I—”

She shook her head before I could finish. Her other hand slid to my arm, curling around my bicep as though she already knew I was seconds away from running again. “I came here so we could talk about this,” she said quietly. “There might be a way after all, because there’s this doctor…he can perform surgery for the lesion in my head.”

My jaw tightened. “Yeah, but you refused to do it.”

Her brows pulled closer, and her hand slowly fell from my face. “How do you know that?”

“Who do you think sent that doctor your way?”

Her eyes widened. “You did?”

I nodded.

“What did you think I was doing after I left?” My eyebrow lifted slightly. “Sure as hell wasn’t out there living my best life.”

She stared back at me in shock, “I…I didn’t know.”

“I made sure you wouldn’t.” I let out a tired breath. “I told good old Charles not to tell you anything. I wanted you to make that decision without me influencing it one way or another.” My eyes searched hers. “You still said no…so why did you come all the way here to tell me this?”

She blinked a few times, as if forcing herself back into the moment.

“I refused because…the doctor said one of the biggest risks was losing my memories.” Her voice grew quieter with every word. “I could forget parts of my life…I could forget everyone. I could even forget myself.”

She lowered her gaze for a moment.

“Everything that happened…” she whispered, “…happened because I forgot Riley. I just…I couldn’t do that again. I got so scared.”

She drew in a slow breath before looking back at me, the tiny line between her brows pulling tighter as she shook her head weakly, “I don’t want to forget you, Nathan.”

Something inside my chest folded in on itself. I stepped closer without thinking, my hand finding her face again, my thumb brushing softly near her temple.

“Baby, if that’s it, I’d remind you of myself again and over again…I could be annoyingly persistent if I want to.”

Her shoulders lifted helplessly, “But what if I never did?”

“Then…then we will make new memories, who cares about the past anyway,” I said, ready for any option. I’d survive anything, but her hurt again because of me.

Her shoulders lifted with a shaky breath before falling again as she gazed at me, her eyes lost in a maze of my own doing.

“Those past months, they were horrible,” She started, “I was back in that place I hated, and I…” Her voice trembled slightly, “I felt so alone again.”

Fuck, I left so she wouldn’t have to suffer anymore. Instead, I’d simply changed the shape of her suffering.

“I know that I should’ve been there for you, Aylin, but—”

She shook her head before I could finish, “I know. I know why you left, but that doesn’t change what happened.”

“Not having you there only proved everything I’d been trying so hard not to admit.” Her lips lifted into a sad smile. “You know, before I met you, I promised myself I’d never go chasing after another man, that I’d never cry over one, that I’d never let anyone have the power to hurt me like that again.”

“And then I met you…” A tear slipped free, “and somehow I broke every single promise I’d ever made to myself.”

“For god’s sake…” she laughed shakily, wiping at her cheek. “Just look at me.”

Her teary eyes wandered over my face. “I crossed oceans, came all the way here just to see you, even if only for one more time, and the funny thing is, I don’t even regret a single second of it.”

My hands had long since stopped belonging to me. They kept finding her face, stroking her cheeks, tracing the line of her jaw, lingering near the corner of her lips, entranced in whatever spell she’d woven on me.

She tilted her head ever so slightly, looking at me with something I’d never seen reflected in another pair of eyes before.

It looked frighteningly close to home.

If I could’ve stolen that look from time itself and hidden it somewhere no one else would ever find it, I would’ve.

“I love you, Nathan,” she whispered, “I love you so much.”

The voices in my head went eerily quiet.

Her lips curled up. “I know that you don’t exactly like that word, and you’re practically allergic to it.” She rolled her eyes playfully. “But I had to tell you, even though you might go running for the hills right now, I don’t care, but I love you more than I’ve loved anyone in my life, and I am not scared to admit that…I am just scared that I might forget it.”

Okay, breathing, let’s breathe again…how the fuck do we do that?

In, out, in and out again, I guess.

Fuck, she’d somehow managed to leave me breathless, speechless…

Usually that was my job.

“Don’t worry, I’d just make you fall in love with me again,” I said, trying to fix the catastrophe currently unfolding inside my chest, “I am just lovable like that, and you’ve already made the mistake once. Odds are you’ll do it again.”

She chuckled, “Is that so?”

I nodded, smiling back at her adorable face, “Hm, you’ve got catastrophically poor taste in men. I intend to exploit that.”

I wanted to say more…those same three words scratched at the inside of my throat, begging to be released, but for some reason I couldn’t.

You see, I could wrestle armed men, walk into gunfire, even laugh in death’s face, yet somehow…three little words had me behaving like an absolute coward.

“Yeah, the poorest taste ever, god help me,” She retorted back with an adorable smile I wanted to dig my teeth in and eat alive.

Her hand drifted slowly over my forearm until it found my own hand, where it rested against her cheek. She held onto it and leaned into my palm, closing her eyes for the briefest second.

She drew in a slow breath. “So, I will do the surgery, and…consequences be damned, right?” She added, trying to sound playful and light, just to run from the severity of the situation.

I gave a small nod.

“But don’t do this for me or for anyone else, for that matter. You need to do this for yourself, Aylin.” I lowered my hand from over her face, keeping hers in mine. “Whether I am beside you or continents away, that lesion will still be there, still stealing pieces of your life every single day, and you deserve better than surviving it.”

I shook my head, “I didn’t try to find a way around this for myself or for my benefit…I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d be fucking ecstatic if I stopped being your trigger, but that was never why.”

My thumb traced absent circles over the back of her hand, “I did it for you, because I’ve watched what this thing has already stolen from you, and I refuse to let it take the rest.”

“I don’t want your future to become another version of your grandmother’s,” I added, “I want you to wake up one morning, and the first thing you think about isn’t surviving the day.”

I lifted her hand to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss against her knuckles. “I want you safe, and healthy, and not scared of what any day could turn into. I want you making memories instead of writing them down because you’re terrified they’ll disappear before tomorrow.”

She smiled sadly, sniffling away the tears threatening to spill again. I smiled back despite myself. “Even if I wasn’t part of that life, I’d still choose it for you.”

“Granted, it’d absolutely destroy and kill me,” I shrugged one shoulder. “But I’ve always been annoyingly generous…my therapist would probably call it self-sacrifice, throw around words like selfless and whatnot,” My lips twitched, “that is, if I had one, of course.”

She laughed, then her eyes closed for a second as another soft laugh escaped her, lighter this time, “I can’t believe I even missed your nonsense.”

She bit the inside of her cheek, clearly trying—and failing—not to smile. Then she slipped her hand from mine. My fingers instinctively tried to follow it. Get a grip, you.

She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, cleared her throat, and straightened her shoulders. I saw it…the second the devil, similar to my own, crawled into her beautiful eyes and took place.

Oh, no.

“Well,” she said matter-of-factly, dusting imaginary lint off her shorts. “Since we’ve settled that, I should probably get going.” She nodded to herself. “Lots on my plate, you know.”

She gave me a polite little smile. Far too polite for my liking, like I was her fucking friend or something.

“Anyway…it was lovely seeing you.”

Excuse me?

She even gave me a tiny wave, “Bye.”

My eyebrows pulled together as she actually started walking away, moving past me and toward the door.

The audacity on this wicked woman…

I was after her before my brain received formal notification. My hand wrapped around her forearm. “Hey, wait, where exactly do you think you’re going?”

She glanced at me over her shoulder with infuriating calm, “Home.”

Home?

“I came here to tell you about the surgery, and I told you, so…” She slipped her arm from my grasp with deliberate slowness before giving me another tiny wave, “Bye.”

She turned around again, but I grabbed her elbow before she’d managed two steps. “Aylin,” I stressed out angrily.

She looked up at me with innocent eyes. “Nathan?”

“What the hell are you doing?”

She frowned, looking genuinely confused. Oscar-worthy performance, by the way.

“What?” she asked. “A few minutes ago you seemed incredibly enthusiastic about me leaving.”

My eyebrow raised at her way of taking back revenge, “I had my reasons for that.”

She shrugged with infuriating composure. “I have mine too.”

Then she slipped free again and continued toward the door as though she hadn’t just detonated every survival instinct I possessed.

My jaw ticked.

Absolutely not.

Three long strides swallowed the distance between us.

My arm snaked around her waist before she could reach the handle, hauling her clean off the floor. Her back collided with my chest in one smooth movement as I locked her against me. The little gasp she’d let out dissolved into a soft laugh as she melted against me. This little minx.

I buried my face beside her ear, near the crook of her neck, shutting my eyes for a second.

“You’re playing a very dangerous game, princess.”

She hummed innocently, “Am I?”

“Mhm.”

My lips brushed the shell of her ear as I spoke, my voice barely above a whisper, “You don’t get to find me, put my heart back inside my chest.” My lips kissed the warm skin beneath her ear before lingering just above the scar etched across her neck, “and then casually walk out the front door.”

She tilted her head just enough to look at me. “And if I do?”

“Then you’ll discover something I’ve been trying very hard not to remind you of.”

Her lips twitched, and so did mine as I rested my forehead against her temple. “I’ve been teaching myself how to let you go…turns out I was terrible at the job.” I said, “I’ve officially resigned from that position. So no, you’re not leaving. Ever.”

She rested her hand over my forearm, leaning back into my chest as though she belonged there, which, frankly, she did.

“Hm, that’s a pickle, because I want to leave,” Her lips curled up in thought, “Nothing particularly interesting is keeping me here.”

“Is that so?” I hummed near her ear, and she nodded.

“It seems you’ve forgotten what happens when you become this insufferable,” I said, my voice losing all of its light. “Looks like you’ve missed my punishments, princess,” I said, my other hand traveling below her waist, reaching her hip, my fingers digging into the jeans of her shorts.

“Punishments?” She feigned innocence, “I don’t seem to recall any…must not have been that memorable.”

I let out another laugh, shaking my head.

“The confidence.”

“The audacity,” she retorted.

“The criminal levels of disrespect,” I said, “You’ve become dangerously brave in my absence.”

A slow smile spread across her lips, “Or maybe I’ve simply realised you don’t bite nearly as hard as you pret—” Her words dissolved into half a gasp, half a moan, when my teeth closed over the sensitive skin of her neck, proving her wrong.

My arm loosened around her waist. My hand drifted up her chest until my fingertips caught on the edge of the little crescent moon resting against her collarbone…the necklace I’d given her. A smile betrayed me at that.

My hand continued upward until it reached her chin. I tilted her head back just enough to steal her eyes again. “You were saying?”

Her pupils widened ever so slightly, a delicate flush blooming across her neck before climbing to her ears. She could pretend all she wanted, play innocent, play difficult and untouchable, but my princess had always been devastatingly weak for me.

Just like I was for her.

“Now that I think of it, you should be punished for sure. Yesterday alone earned you a lifetime sentence.”

Her brows pulled closer, “Yesterday?”

I nodded, “Having Adam call me to inform me that you’re…” I let the sentence hang, narrowing my eyes at her. “…seeing someone, ring any bells?”

Her eyes widened, and she spun around inside my arms so quickly she nearly headbutted me.

“You knew it was me?” she gasped. “Did Adam confess immediately?” She scoffed dramatically. “God, the nerve of that asshole. Here I was thinking he was my friend—”

“First of all…” I cut in, offended on principle alone. “He’s not your friend, and congratulations, you’ve just earned him a bullet between the eyes for saying that.”

She shot me a glare.

“As for your little conspiracy, no, Adam didn’t tell me a thing,” I added, “I figured it out before he’d even finished speaking.”

Her brows pulled deeper in confusion, so I clarified.

“The phone was on speaker, and I could clearly hear the harbour behind him, the ships, and the waves…” I leaned a fraction closer. “And you…you were there. I’d swear on my remaining sanity I could hear you breathing right next to him.”

She narrowed her eyes at me before shaking her head. “It could’ve been someone else.”

“Nope, it was you…I’d recognise the rhythm of your breathing in a stadium full of people.”

She flashed me an incredulous look, “No way, you’re bluffing.”

I shook my head, “Besides, you know I’d immediately off the person you are…seeing, and you are too much of a humanist and far too soft-hearted, so you wouldn’t do that. You wouldn’t burden some innocent bastard with that kind of fate, would you now?”

Her nostrils flared, annoyance replacing the satisfaction she’d been wearing moments ago.

Ah, beautiful.

“It was a cruel joke, though…what if I’d actually believed it?”

Her frown deepened. “That’s not…that’s not why I did it. I didn’t want to hurt you. I just couldn’t find you. Adam didn’t know where you were, and Christian refused to tell me,” She pouted, “I think he hates me or something…”

My brows pulled together. That traitorous prick never mentioned that part.

“Then, when nothing else worked, I went to Nikolas.” She exhaled. “Who, by the way, is terrifyingly overprotective of you. I practically had to convince him I wasn’t planning to ruin your life again, and eventually, he told me you’d be in Italy.”

My eyebrows pulled closer, slightly taken aback, “Nikolas?”

She nodded. “Yeah, and…” Her expression suddenly shifted, and her eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Hold on, hold on, who was that girl?”

I blinked, “What girl?”

“The one who was with you when Adam called.” Her arms folded across her chest, her jaw tightening. “The one who told you to…come inside or whatever.”

“Oh, you mean Grace?” I don’t even recall what that woman’s name was, so Grace it is. “She is my girlfriend.”

The color drained from Aylin’s face at the seriousness in my tone.

“Yeah…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “About three months now, I think,” I added, “But don’t worry, you could always be my mistress, though.” I tilted my head as if genuinely considering the logistics. “I’m sure she’d be very open-minded…how do you feel about polygamy?”

Christ. I lasted approximately four seconds.

The moment that lost little look crept into her eyes, every remaining ounce of commitment to the joke evaporated. Bloody hell, I was an idiot for her.

I huffed out a laugh, shaking my head, “See? It’s a cruel joke, not nearly as funny when you’re on the receiving end of it, is it?”

The hurt vanished from her eyes, replaced by something considerably more dangerous. I fucking adored that look.

Her jaw ticked, and she marched the last step toward me and punched me square in the arm. “Asshole!” Another punch. “You are such an asshole—”

I laughed, catching her wrist before the third one could land, folding her hand inside mine, stopping her adorable lame attempts. “You really think I’d do that?”

She narrowed her eyes at me, “Yeah, well…” She huffed. “You are a guy.”

“Mm.” I nodded thoughtfully. “Not just any guy, though.”

My lips twitched. “I’m your guy.”

Her expression softened at that, but she tried so hard to keep the angry look, her eyes narrowing at me with that I-will-scratch-your-face look. Fucking adorable. I love her when she is murderous and feral like this.

“So…” she mumbled, suddenly finding the floor very interesting. “You…didn’t, you know…”

I frowned. “Didn’t what?”

She gestured vaguely. “You know.”

“I don’t.” I tilted my head. “Use your words, princess.”

She groaned, clearly regretting every life choice that had brought her here. “Did you…” She cleared her throat. “…sleep with someone else…these past months?”

“Did you?”

Her head snapped up. “What? Of course I didn’t.”

“There’s your answer, then.”

Something in her shoulders loosened.

I took a step closer. “You see, every woman on this earth has this incredibly unfortunate habit,” My gaze wandered over her face, “of not being you, so no, it is not possible. You’re it for me, princess, and if I can’t have you…then I’d rather have no one at all.”

But I was going to have you anyway, eventually. I kept that part to myself. Baby steps. The toxicity could ease itself back into the relationship at a medically responsible pace. I was a mature adult after all.

Her lips betrayed her before the rest of her face did. The smallest smile escaped the corner of her mouth, so soft it almost wasn’t there.

She immediately turned her head away, biting the inside of her cheek as though she could somehow bully it back into hiding.

I caught her chin gently, turning her face back to me. My eyes drifted to her lips, my thumb brushing slowly across her lower one before they found her eyes again.

“Now, are you going to be a good girl and reward me?” I asked, my eyebrow raising, “I mean, I’ve been very selfless and completely celibate for six months now. Frankly, I believe I’m owed some form of compensation.”

She chuckled and shook her head like I was so silly. “For the first time in your life, I actually agree with you.”

Tease fluttered all over her lips, shone in her pretty eyes as she hooked a finger through the belt loop of my jeans and gave it the tiniest tug, pulling me closer until barely a breath remained between us.

Not that she’d actually physically pulled me.

I simply went with her.

Truth be told, she could’ve led me straight into hell, and I’d probably have thanked her for the directions.

“God…” I muttered with a suppressed groan, my hands instinctively finding her waist, digging into her skin, “Do you wake up every morning asking yourself how am I going to kill Nathan today, or does it just come naturally?”

She smiled, her eyes impossibly soft.

“No, it’s the exact opposite, actually. I ask myself how I am going to make you live.” Her fingertips smoothed over the front of my shirt. “I want you to live such a long life that one lifetime could never possibly be enough for us.”

Something inside my chest cracked so quietly I wasn’t sure whether it was my heart…or every wall I’d ever built around it.

She rose onto her tiptoes then, closing the last inch between us, and pressed the gentlest, most heart-wrecking kiss to my lips.

Fuck me, but I could never do the gentle sweet thing with her. Not possible. The smallest brush of her lips detonated inside me, blue fire racing through every vein I owned, shooting straight down to my very eager boy, who, judging by the speed of his resurrection, had apparently suffered through those months far worse than I had—poor bastard.

My hands climbed up her face, cradling her head, and pulled her deeper, then pushed her harder that she collided with the wall again. I kept her there, mouth moving over hers like I was starving, tongue sliding against hers with a hunger that wouldn’t ever be quenched.

The wolf inside me lifted its bloodied head, recognizing its moon after an endless winter. Every chain I’d wrapped around it snapped with humiliating ease, scattering at my feet.

My hands slid down, gripping her hips before one palm traveled up to catch the hem of her shirt. The feral urge to toy with her sweet body, to conquer every little inch of it, rose back from the ashes. Seems like my unhinged obsession with this woman had metastasized, reaching a level that would deeply concern my therapist-to-be.

Poor guy, I’d probably end up being the reason he needed therapy.

“This is the last time we stay apart,” I breathed, teeth grazing her lower lip before I kissed down the line of her jaw, “last time, do you hear me?” My lips trailed lower, along the column of her neck, devouring skin that was too soft it was fucking maddening.

“Last time,” She whispered back, her hands on my shoulders, going to the back of my neck, digging into skin as I reached the scar over her pulse. My heart slammed against my ribs as I pressed soft kisses over the mark, reverent, feeling her heartbeat hammer against my mouth—alive, alive, alive.

Her fingers threaded into my hair, tugging just enough to drive me utterly insane. A soft, breathy sound left her throat as I desecrated her masterpiece of a skin with my mouth, writing words, bleeding vowels, the ink flowing back into my abandoned pen.

“It’s going to take me a fucking lifetime to make up for the time we lost,” I murmured against her collarbone, skin flushing red beneath my mouth. “And I’m still going to complain that it wasn’t enough.”

My hands found the hem of her shirt. Up it went, over her head, carelessly tossed somewhere behind me. My fingers unhooked her bra with a speed that surprised even me.

Aylin blinked at me, startled. “That was fast.”

I gazed at her swollen, tempting lips. “Six months, princess, it’s been six months…”

She was lucky I was holding back. She’d pass out if she heard the dark thoughts circling my head right now.

I took my time with her, every little inch of her sweet body earned. My mouth closed over one nipple, tongue flicking the sensitive peak until it hardened against my lips. An incoherent sound escaped her—half moan, half plea—and her fingers pulled harder at my hair when I bit down, my control faltering, bits and pieces left.

Luna meowed relentlessly in the background, a nuisance, really. The timing was criminal. A very annoyed groan slipped from me as I edged back. I looked at the grey demon, glaring at it as it stood way too close, watching us ever so shamelessly.

“I know you’re thrilled your parents are finally getting back together, but you need to go so I can have my way with your mommy, ” I said, shooing her away.

Aylin chuckled, covering her face with her hands, “Jesus…”

Instead of leaving, Luna moved closer and rubbed herself against my leg. I kicked her with my feet, but she came back again. I kicked her, and she came back…

Persistent little gremlin. Now I knew exactly where she’d inherited that personality from.

Not having time to waste, I straightened myself, my hands gripping the back of Aylin’s thigh, pulling her closer, hauling her up against me. Instinctively, her body responded, her legs wrapping around my waist, her arms looping around my neck.

I pecked her lips as I walked us to the bedroom. “I changed my mind,” I mumbled against her mouth, “I don’t want kids anymore.”

She laughed at my words, but the sound soon evaporated into a startled gasp when I dropped her onto the mattress. Before she could lift herself onto her elbows, I was already on her, caging her, one knee pressed between her thighs, spreading them. My palms flattened on either side of her head.

She was trapped.

Finally.

Her chest rose and fell in quick, shallow bursts. That look, the wide-eyed innocent look that always preceded her undoing, was my drug, my heroin, and my fucking adrenaline.

She was just as desperate, her hands climbing my chest until they reached my shoulders, fisting the collar of my shirt and yanking me down, crashing my mouth back onto hers. I let her have exactly one second of control before my hand left the mattress, grabbed her chin, tilted her head right before my fingers wrapped around her neck.

“So, what exactly am I supposed to do with you, princess?” I murmured, closing my lips over her lower one, sucking on the sensitive skin I’d bruised.

“You’ll fuck me, that’s what you’ll do,” she said back, breathlessly.

A dark chuckle vibrated from my chest. “You really have gotten pretty bold in my absence.”

She flashed me a knowing look and repeated my words, her fingers stroking the side of my hair, “Six months, Nathan, it’s been six months.”

I dragged my tongue slowly across my lower lip, trying—and spectacularly failing—not to smile, and not to bite that adorable face of hers. This cute aggression I get toward her needs to be examined and studied urgently.

She started unbuttoning my shirt, and I allowed her, “You need to pick how we do this, if we leave it to me, I might take it too far,” I warned her.

She licked her lips, pausing at the last button as she looked up at my face, ever so thrilled, “How far?”

I shook my head with a helpless smile, helping her with the last button before shrugging the shirt off and letting it fall somewhere forgotten. Aylin’s hands found the waistband of my jeans, her fingers already reaching for my belt, but then…she stopped.

I watched it happen in real time.

The teasing vanished from her eyes the second they fell to the left side of my chest. Something raw swept across her face, disbelief swallowing every other emotion before slowly surrendering to something infinitely softer.

Her hand lifted almost cautiously, as though she was afraid the slightest touch might erase whatever she was seeing.

Her fingertips found the crescent moon first.

They traced its edge with unbearable slowness, following the curve before drifting down the thin line that split it in two, all the way to the little guiding star beneath. Finally, they reached the name engraved into my skin. Her name.

Her thumb brushed over the ink once, then again. I watched her eyes move over it, trying to understand it, trying to understand me.

Her gaze finally lifted to mine.

“You…” she whispered, almost afraid of the words. “You actually did it.”

I nodded once.

“Took me long enough.”

She blinked at me. Awe, fear, pain, and love swarmed those beautiful green eyes at once. The tip of her nose turned pink again, like she was about to burst into tears. I didn’t want that, so I leaned down, kissed the tip of it, then pecked her lips. “I still need my wolf on you, though. This was a two-way deal, remember?”

She chuckled brokenly. “Uh-huh, I am so getting that done,” she said, her lips twitching, her fingers still brushing the tattoo, over and over again, unable to get enough. “You’re crazy,” she whispered.

“We’ve already established that’s my middle name,” I said.

Her eyes drifted up to me, glassy in the way that breaks my fucking heart, gazing at me like I was the missing piece she’d spent a lifetime bleeding for.

I leaned in, took her lips into mine before that look wrecked me forever. My hands stroked her face, brushed her neck, moved over her breasts, reached the hem of her shorts. I yanked them open, and she arched against me, hips lifting, helping me shove them away.

Her hands fumbled with my own pants next, getting rid of every layer of clothes till skin met skin. Heat met heat. She was getting closer with every move, her oxygen mingling with my own, her fingers holding into me with desperation, she was stealing my control and using it as her own.

The uncomfortable, itchy feeling scratched at the back of my neck, buzzed in my skull, and prickled beneath my skin. It took over whenever my control was at risk. It scratched and scratched, asking me to flip her over, tear her hands away, pin her down, take back my power. It kept whispering, then growling, then demanding.

So, I silenced it.

I did the exact opposite of what it demanded for once.

I gripped her thighs hard enough to bruise, hauled her up, and rolled onto my back, dragging her with me until she straddled my stomach. She gasped, eyes wide, hands falling down on my shoulders. This position was a boundary I had never let anyone cross, wouldn’t ever but…

But for her, I was ready to cross everything.

Her hands drifted over my shoulder, down to my chest, stroking the ink engraved there. Her eyes never left mine, studying every flicker, every crack, every surrender she managed to pull from me.

Anywhere she reached for was hers for the taking…she should know that.

I slid one hand between her legs from the back, my palm pressing against the soft flesh of her inner thigh.

“Natha…oh.” My name caught on her tongue, dissolving into a whimper that vibrated against my chest. Her teeth dug into her lower lip when my fingers parted her folds, finding her all slick and swollen. Jesus fucking christ…

“Fuck, look at you, always so ready for me,” I rasped as I teased her slowly, circling her clit, dragging through her wetness, watching every flicker of pleasure cross her beautiful face, focusing on that, on her, trying to silence the noises trying to take over.

Her lips parted to say more, but I didn’t stop, teasing her entrance, dipping just the tip of a finger inside before withdrawing, stealing all of her words and replacing them with breathless gasps. Her head dipped down with a low, broken whimper, her nails digging into the skin of my shoulders, anchoring herself as her knees weakened.

I knew what she wanted to say anyway…Nathan, are you sure? Fuck, no, I wasn’t, but I had to.

She lifted her head, her breath hitching as I eased my hand away, leaving her empty and wanting, “You’re going to take my cock and ride me like a very good girl, won’t you, princess?”

“Mmm,” she hummed, a sound of pure acquiescence.

I gripped her waist, my fingers spanning her ribcage, and lifted her effortlessly. I shifted her backward until the head of my cock nudged her entrance. She hovered there for a heartbeat, her thighs trembling slightly, her eyes locked onto mine.

Scratch, scratch, scratch…

The sounds grew louder. My jaw clenched, and my fingers dug deeper into her skin, grounding myself in her to fight against the encroaching darkness.

“Come on, baby, I fucking need you.” My voice came out tight and breathless because god knows I needed her more than oxygen. She was the only thing that made sense.

She slowly sank down, stretching around me inch by inch. Heat. Tightness. The wet slide of her taking every thick inch of me had my head press deeper into the mattress, my neck arching as the sensation overwhelmed me.

She slumped forward, the sudden fullness too much to bear upright, her nails sinking into my abs, “Oh god…”

“That’s it, baby,” I managed to say, my voice straining as she lowered herself further, taking more of me. Her breathing was heavy, ragged, her chest heaving. One wayward strand of blonde hair fell forward, brushing against my cheek as she seated herself fully, her hips flush against mine.

A guttural sound tore from my throat, “Fuck, you’re doing so well.”

“I am?” She whispered, her tone small and seeking, making my lips twitch. My adorable princess always loved it whenever I praised her.

“Yeah…god, you’re so fucking beautiful.” I adjusted myself slightly, causing more friction, “You feel like the best fucking thing in this world.” Like my damnation. Another groan vibrated from my chest at the aphrodisiac sensation, my eyelids gliding down for a second, the sounds in my head slowly fading away, “Fuck, you’re strangling my cock like a very good girl…just relax, baby.”

My eyes met hers again, my gaze flickering over her flushed skin, the crimson creeping up her neck, covering her face, her lips all swollen from how many times I’ve bitten them, her eyes full of want and need and me.

A moan ripped out of her lips when I shoved her all the way down, burying myself deeper. “Yeah, come on, princess,” I groaned, “Let me see how much you want this.”

She threw her head back, exposing the long, pale line of her throat, adjusting to the size of me before she slowly took control. She tried to find her rhythm, a hesitant rise and fall that quickly grew bolder, needier.

I watched her, only her, the way her stomach flexed, her eyes fluttered when she ground down and took me deeper into her heaven, her hands moving over my chest, over my stomach, caressing every spot, seeking balance as she moved. God, she was a vision, and she was mine only.

Pleasure coiled tight in my gut, but I tried to keep still, letting her set the pace before I snapped and took over. Every sound, every squeeze of her walls around my cock, every broken whimper she made…I absorbed it all.

But no matter how hard I tried, the scratching, buzzing sound kept creeping back in, threatening to take this away from me.

“God, you feel so good,” she muttered breathlessly, her voice briefly silencing the noise, cutting through the static like a knife, “I missed you so much.”

A strangled sound pushed out of her lips before she bit at the corners, trying to stifle the volume. She leaned forward, closing the distance between us, her arms going around my neck. Her lips fell onto my own, swallowing my groans as she kept moving…the friction building to a fever pitch.

The taste of her, the smell of her skin, the feel of her body surrounding me…I nearly saw fucking stars.

I wrapped my arms around her body, meeting her movements, thrusting deeper, slamming into the beautiful chaos that is this woman.

She moved her hands, stroking my neck and face. Her movements slowed down, the frantic pace shifting into something deeper, more deliberate. She brushed her fingers over my cheekbones, stroking at my temples, near my mouth, brushing my hair away from my forehead.

“Nathan,” she whispered, looked deep into my eyes, her expression softening even as her body clenched around me, “If I am making you…uncomfortable, I can stop, we can—”

Her words died in her throat when I grabbed her neck, felt the frantic flutter of her pulse against my palm, and pulled her closer, crushing my mouth against hers, swallowing the rest of the sentence, tasting the lingering salt of our sweat and the addicting sweetness of her tongue.

“You could never make me uncomfortable,” I mumbled into her mouth. She edged back a fraction, watching me, her lips curved into a small relieved smile, before they parted, her pleasure tumbling out as I snapped my hips, hitting that sweet spot inside her, over and over again.

Scratch, scratch…Fuck…

Her head fell forward, burying her face in the crook of my neck to muffle the sounds. Her breath hot against my skin, ragged and fast, humid little puffs that contrasted with the chill trying to creep into my bones.

My hand moved from her waist, tangling in her hair, fisting the golden strands in my fingers, cradling the back of her head as we fell into a sync. Her lips drifted over the hammering pulse in my neck, behind my ear, down the side toward my shoulder, leaving little kisses here and there.

My fingers tightened in her hair, my eyelids drifting open, heavy and half-lidded, meeting the ceiling above, and there I saw it. That flickering bulb above me, buzzing, blinking, on and off, on and off, on and off, the sound getting louder, screeching, buzzing nonstop. Just like the one in that basement…

The filament sizzling, the darkness pulsing between the flashes of light, the effect dissecting the room into jagged slices of reality.

The bulb wasn’t here, no, it wasn’t flickering either. Reality knew that. My nightmares, however, had never been particularly interested in reality. They were scavengers, feeding on the gaps in my focus, waiting for the armor to crack.

My stomach lurched, a nauseating drop that sent bile rising in my throat. The itch sank its claws into the back of my skull, a physical pressure behind my eyes, while the buzzing swallowed every coherent thought I had left, drowning out even…her.

It kept scratching, and scratching, until instinct tore the wheel from my hands.

I shot up onto one elbow, dragging Aylin with me as I rolled us over, caging her beneath my body, her back hitting the mattress with a soft, breathless thud.

I didn’t give her a second to think or suck in her next breath. I shoved her down, tore into her, thrusting deep, burying myself to the hilt in one punishing motion. My hand moved to her neck, wrapping there, my thumb resting near the frantic thrum of her pulse, grounding myself in the rhythm of her life.

That frantic thrum alone kicked my thoughts back into order, the physical shock of the connection shattering the illusion of the light.

Aylin arched into me, meeting my pace, sinking her fingers into my neck, raking her nails across my spine, kissing me back as I sank my teeth into her flesh, skin on skin, driving into her with a desperation that bordered on violence, chasing the oblivion that nearly sucked me in.

“Nathan…oh god…I…I can’t—” She cried out, tightening around me, and I kissed her deeper, kept my rhythm as she shattered all around me.

My heart nearly came tumbling out as she kissed my neck, whispering those soft three words again, every breath another execution, every letter of them another resurrection.

A groan tore out of my throat, feeling her walls clenching, her body tensing before relaxing, surrendering to the pleasure. I didn’t stop. Seconds devoured minutes, minutes devoured time itself, until it dissolved into something shapeless, and for one impossible stretch of existence there was only her. Just her and me, our beautiful catastrophe, our shared madness, our hopeless addiction to one another.

Two ruined souls, forever choosing the very thing that would undo them.

I slammed into her one last time, burying myself as deep as I could go, grinding my hips against hers till I came deep inside her, pulsing waves of heat filling her up, marking her, reclaiming her, the release tearing through me, all-fucking-consuming.

I held her there as she broke apart in my arms once more, pinned beneath me, my hand still over her neck, my forehead resting against hers, listening to the buzzing fade into the background.

It took me a few long moments to remember how breathing worked. I stayed where I was, my body still crushing her beneath me, stealing slow, absent-minded kisses from her lips, her cheeks, the corner of her mouth, incapable of putting even an inch of distance between us.

Her fingers lazily traced the back of my neck before her hazy green eyes found mine.

Then she smiled…a smile that could convince the devil to hand heaven back and apologize for ever inventing hell in the first place.

“You know…” she murmured, her voice deliciously hoarse. “I think I prefer it when you manhandle me and completely crush me beneath you like this, let’s just do it this way from now on.”

I knew she noticed it. The shift in my body language, the way my world had tilted sideways minutes ago. She was as attuned to me as I was to her.

My lips betrayed me, breaking into the smallest smile as I gazed down at her. I smoothed her hair back from her face, and I was no longer scared. Let the world burn and crash, let heaven collapse into hell. I genuinely couldn’t bring myself to give a fuck anymore.

“I love you,” I mumbled, finally breathing, “I love you so fucking much, Aylin.”

“I think…” My thumb brushed the corner of her mouth. “No…” I shook my head, smiling at my own stupidity. “I believe that I’ve been in love with you since the very beginning. I just spent far too long mistaking it for obsession.”

She smiled somberly, “Because you are an idiot.”

I smiled back, brushed my nose against hers. “I am, and you are my greatest addiction, the miracle my demons never saw coming…the moon my wolf spent his whole miserable life howling for. You are my everything, you are my princess.”

One emotional tear escaped the corner of her eye, rolling slowly across her temple before disappearing into the sheets beneath her.

I caught it before another could follow.

“You remember what I told you once?” I murmured, “How I’d always dreamt of a princess who’d crawl beneath the bed…” My fingers brushed through her hair. “…sit beside the monster…and choose to burn with him.”

She nodded faintly.

“I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want you burning beside him. I want to drag you out by the hand while he screams, I want to leave him under that bed where he belongs. I want to lock the door with him inside, and I want to watch that tower collapse into ashes behind us…”

A slow breath left me, “…while we’re already halfway home.”

“He can have the fire, and the ashes, and every ugly part of me that ever believed love was supposed to end in ruin,” I shook my head, “I don’t want that anymore.”

“Then, what do you want?”

“I want to build this whole new life with you…I want to live, to make you my wife, to have a bunch of kids that will undoubtedly inherit your beauty and attitude and my psychological defects, even adopt another cat who’ll love you more than me, maybe overthrow a few governments, accidentally conquer the world,” I shrugged playfully, “You know, the usual.”

She burst into wholehearted laughter, her eyes squeezing shut.

“Nathan…”

“What?” I frowned. “I’m trying to be realistic.”

She shot me a playful look, her lips twitching. “World domination isn’t realistic.”

“That’s exactly the sort of negative attitude that’ll stop us from achieving our dreams.”

She covered her face with one hand, still laughing. Then, she reached over and flicked my forehead. “You’re insane.”

“You’re only just figuring that out?” My eyebrow raised. “Princess, you’ve crossed countries for me, you chose me, you love me. Between the two of us, I’m beginning to think you’re the concerning one.”

Her eyebrow raised, “Me?”

I nodded, stealing a quick kiss before leaning back just enough to slip my arm beneath her and tug her impossibly closer. “Don’t worry, we’ll find you an excellent therapist, preferably someone other than my annoying sister.”

She snorted softly and melted further into my arms, still smiling, resting her head over my chest as though she’d finally found the place she’d been looking for.

“Can we stay here for a couple of days?” she asked quietly. “Before I have to go back and…you know.”

My fingers wandered through her hair, untangling the strands one by one.

“Yeah,” I whispered. “Of course we can.”

Truth be told, I wasn’t entirely convinced the world outside this room still existed.

“We can stay for a week.” My lips brushed the top of her head. “Two, if we decide society is overrated.”

She laughed softly.

“Then we’ll go back together,” I squeezed her a little closer, “and deal with the rest of the world, okay?”

She nodded, her arm slipping around my waist. “Sounds like a great plan,” She whispered.

I felt her slowly melting into me, her energy finally surrendering after everything that unraveled today, but the sound of a phone ringing shook her right up.

The timing was appalling.

My brows knitted together as I glanced around the room until my eyes landed on her shorts discarded beside the bed. Aylin shifted just enough for me to lean over and fish the phone out of the pocket.

My fingers froze. The name flashing across the screen made my mood perform the emotional equivalent of driving off a cliff.

Riley.

I turned the screen toward Aylin, my eyebrow raising in questioning.

Her throat bobbed, “That’s…” She grimaced. “Adam’s phone.”

The ringing stopped.

I blinked once, trying to understand.

“And why,” I asked very calmly, which was always a terrible sign, “is our resident lunatic ringing Adam?”

Aylin shot the phone an irritated look before glancing back at me.

“They kind of…” She scratched the back of her neck. “…have a thing going on.”

“Have a wh—wait, what?” My eyes widened in realization. “Ew, that’s just so…eww,” I grumbled, grimacing.

“What’s so ew about this?”

“I just thought Adam had better taste than…” I rolled my eyes, “You know who.” I shuddered, mumbling another eww under my breath, physically recoiling at the notion.

Aylin punched my arm, glaring at me, “Stop that, she is still my sister!”

I scoffed, “Yeah, psycho sister…”

She narrowed my eyes at me, “As if you are not the psycho brother to your siblings.”

“…Yeah,” I admitted with a shrug. “But that’s different.”

“How?”

My eyebrow arched, “Because I’m adorable, charming, and an absolute delight to be around?”

She shot me a glare, “You stabbed your nephew, remember?”

I clicked my tongue. “Details,” I shrugged. “Besides, he lived, and in my defense, I haven’t stabbed him since.”

My lips pursed thoughtfully. “Looking back, though…I may have stopped one stabbing too early, probably would’ve stopped him from dating your lunatic sister.”

Aylin’s eyebrows pulled closer before widening. “What?”

“Oh,” I blinked. “Right, you don’t know this. Your crazy sister took advantage of my nephew, then crushed his poor little heart into teeny tiny pieces.” I shot her a glare, “You’re so lucky I didn’t kill her. God, I would love nothing more than to slit her throat open and—”

Aylin punched my arm, “Don’t you even think about it!”

I rolled my eyes, “I hate her.”

“Nathan, she’s my sister.”

“Exactly. That’s the only reason she’s still alive.”

She buried her face in my shoulder with an exasperated groan, “You’re unbelievable.”

“No.” I scoffed. “What’s unbelievable is Adam. I hired the fucker to look after you, and while I was spiraling over here, he apparently found the time to get himself a fucking girlfriend. I am so firing him and then killing him.”

She moved away from me, narrowed her eyes. “You know what? It wouldn’t be too bad if I forgot all of this.”

She gestured vaguely at me and started to climb off the bed.

I caught her wrist before she’d made it two inches and tugged. She landed right back against my chest with an indignant huff.

“Excuse me,” I frowned. “Where exactly do you think you’re going?”

She groaned dramatically under her breath, “God help me.“

“He already tried, and look how that turned out,” I said, covering her sweet body with the blanket, tucking it beneath her chin.

She huffed. Then, almost against her own will, she melted back into me.

“There is still so much to deal with,” she murmured quietly.

I knew exactly what she meant. Riley. Her parents. The surgery. The thousand little fires still waiting for us outside this room.

I brushed my fingers through her hair. “We’ll deal with it, one disaster at a time. It will all work out in the end, promise.” I added, seriously prepared to do everything, even those along the lines of killing them and hiring her a new family.

She hummed, her head tilting back to look at me, “Nathan?”

I met her eyes, “Yeah?”

Her lips twitched slightly, “Say it again.”

God…I’d spend the rest of my miserable life saying it if that look stayed on her face.

My own lips tilted, gazing at her pretty face, “I love you.”

She closed her eyes for a second, soaking it in like sunlight after winter. When she opened them again, her smile had grown impossibly brighter. “Thank you.”

A laugh escaped me.

Oh, the little menace knew exactly what she was doing.

“I am pretty lovable.” She flipped her hair with entirely too much confidence. “Get in line.”

I leaned down and stole another kiss, biting at the corner of her smile before pulling back. “I deserved that, didn’t I?”

“Uh-huh.” She nodded with shameless satisfaction. “That’s for making me be the first one to say it. You’ll be paying for that for a very long time.”

“Lucky me.”

She nodded, smiling sweetly, “May god help you.”

I looked at her for a long second before shaking my head. “Nah, for the first time in my life, I’m rather glad he didn’t.”

⊹˚₊‧────────────‧₊˚⊹

Three weeks later…

They said the surgery had been a success.

Well, success still looked damn terrifying.

She hadn’t opened her eyes yet.

Somewhere between the seventh coffee, the twentieth prayer I didn’t believe in, and the four hundredth time checking whether her fingers had moved, the hours had stopped meaning anything.

Time had become…strange.

Elastic.

Cruel.

I sat beside her bed, my forearms resting over my knees, watching the slow rise and fall of her chest with utter concentration.

Her blonde hair spilled over the pillow in soft waves. The place of the surgery was a small strip above her left ear, hidden beneath a neat white dressing wrapped around the side of her head.

She looked…small, too bloody small.

I hated hospitals, always had.

They smelled too much like endings.

I was trying very hard to believe this one would finally become an exception. This was supposed to be our beginning.

Her parents were somewhere in the hospital. They came into the room every now and then, stayed for a little while, then quietly slipped out again. Charles had stepped out a few minutes ago for some fresh air. The old man looked like he’d aged another ten years in a single night.

Even Riley had turned up…against every law of nature and basic human decency.

I’d caught her trying to sneak into the room about an hour ago. Apparently she’d only wanted to “check whether her sister was still crazy or not.”

In my defense, I only shoved her hard enough to introduce her to the floor. She seemed offended by that.

Personally, I thought I had shown remarkable restraint.

My heart slammed against my ribs when Aylin’s fingers twitched on the side, every other thought dying. My head snapped up so quickly the room tilted for a second, my gaze falling on her face. Her brows pulled together ever so slightly, a tiny crease forming between them.

She tried to move her head, and a low, sleepy whimper escaped her throat.

I was already on my feet before I’d realised I’d moved.

Every instinct screamed at me to call the doctor.

Every other instinct refused to leave her side.

My hand found hers, careful—God, so bloody careful—as though she might disappear if I held on too tightly.

“Come on, baby,” I whispered, my thumb brushing over her knuckles. “Come back to me.”

Her breathing shifted, slower, deeper, then faster again. Her eyelashes fluttered once, stopped, then fluttered again, trying to keep them open but failing.

I forgot how to breathe.

This…

This was it.

The question that had haunted every second of the past three weeks was finally about to be answered.

The surgery had saved her life.

But had it stolen us?

“Hey…can you hear me?” I asked ever so softly, stroking the back of her hand, once, twice.

A soft hum escaped her throat, her head shifting ever so slightly toward the sound of my voice before her brows knitted together. A quiet whimper followed, pain tightening every delicate line of her face.

Come on, baby…

Her eyelashes trembled, once and twice, then with visible effort, her eyelids slowly parted. Emerald green met mine through a sleepy haze, utterly unfocused. Her lids dropped back down, and her lips parted.

“Wh…” The sound barely existed. She swallowed, wincing almost immediately. “…Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital,” I murmured, keeping my voice as even as I possibly could. Calm. Gentle. Almost clinical, trying to ease her in, “You had surgery yesterday, do you remember that?”

Her throat moved, bobbed heavily, the lines between her brows tightening, as if searching for things in her head.

Her eyelids lifted only halfway.

“…Are you…” she whispered, studying my face through the haze. “…my doctor?”

My fingers froze around hers.

Okay, it’s okay. Easy. She’d only just woken up.

The doctor had warned us this could happen. The anaesthetic. The swelling. Temporary confusion. Perfectly normal.

Perfectly…

Normal.

Breathe, Nathan, breathe. Don’t let her see you panic.

I nodded, “Uh yeah, can I ask you a couple of questions?”

She gave the tiniest nod.

“Do…do you know your name?” I started, taking it step by step.

“Hmm,” She mumbled, her eyes still closed, “Aylin…it’s Aylin.”

Okay. That’s a good sign.

“How old are you, Aylin?”

She frowned.

“…Twenty…” A tiny pause. “…Four?”

“Yeah,” I whispered, giving her hand the gentlest squeeze. “That’s right.”

“What’s your mother’s name?”

One second passed, two, three…

“Layla.”

I nodded. “Your father?”

“Adrian,” she answered this one faster. Better, much better. I kept every answer tucked away somewhere inside my head, building hope out of tiny fragments I was almost too frightened to trust.

“Do you have any siblings?”

Her eyelids fluttered open again. This time they stayed that way a little longer, her sleepy gaze settling on the ceiling.

“…Riley,” she murmured.

My pulse stumbled.

She remembered Riley.

She remembered her parents.

She remembered herself.

Then…

She remembers me too…doesn’t she?

Hope stirred somewhere beneath my ribs before I crushed it back down.

“Who…who do you love more, your mother or father?”

She gave the faintest shake of her head. “Grandpa,” She said, making my lips twitch. Trust my stubborn little menace to refuse answering the question altogether.

Good.

That sounded more like her.

My thumb drifted absently over the back of her hand.

“Who’s your best friend?”

She blinked at the ceiling, still not turning to me, as if she found her answers up there. Her fingers twitched against the mattress, “There is…Lilly and…” She said, her brows pulling closer, unable to resume that sentence.

My heart tightened.

I brushed my hand over her knuckles, recalling our talk from the other night where she wanted me to ask her this exactly. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t even remotely fucking ready.

“And who’s the love of your life?”

Silence.

Thud.

Thud.

My heartbeat battered itself against my ribs with enough force to bruise, ready to jump out and fall next to her, beg her to see him, remember him, she must remember him.

Her lips twitched softly, her head slowly turning to the right, her tired green eyes finally settled on mine, truly seeing me for the first time since she’d woken. “You,” she whispered.

That was all it took.

I laughed.

God…

I actually laughed.

It came out broken, breathless, somewhere between a sob and complete fucking relief. It consumed me wholly. I closed my eyes as every ounce of tension drained out of me so violently my body nearly gave way with it.

I leaned closer, my hand resting over her face. “See? You didn’t forget me, after all.”

Her sleepy smile grew just a little.

“Didn’t…” she mumbled, her words still sluggish beneath the weight of the anaesthetic. “…You’re a little difficult to forget.”

A little.

Right.

I’d carved myself into every corner of her existence, but sure…a little.

A quiet breath escaped me as I brushed a loose strand of hair away from her face, careful not to disturb the dressing above her ear.

“You’re okay,” I whispered, almost to convince myself. “Jesus…you’re actually okay.”

She gave the tiniest nod, the rarest smile. “Thanks to you.”

I smiled, then frowned. “You know, I genuinely prepared myself for the possibility that you were going to answer with…Chase’s name,” I grimaced, part playful, part annoyed because I actually considered that fucking option. “I was already mentally composing his obituary.”

Her eyes widened in sleepy disbelief before a laugh escaped her.

She immediately winced. “Ow…”

“Don’t do that.” I cupped her face, my brows pulling closer in worry. “The surgeon spent, like, half a day putting your brain back together. Let’s not shake it loose in the first five minutes.”

Another smile betrayed her as I stroked her adorable face.

“To be honest, I was going to say that, but it would’ve been way too cruel. My poor heart couldn’t do that.”

I shot her a glare, “You what?”

Her nose wrinkled. “I love you way too much to do that to you.”

Fuck, she had no business looking this goddamn cute after brain surgery.

I clicked my tongue, pretending to be deeply inconvenienced by this. In reality, I was so fucking ecstatic she was finally okay, she was here, that she remembered me, so I couldn’t care for anything else. The rest of the world was welcome to catch fire.

“Right, we’ll revisit this conversation once you’ve recovered,” I narrowed my eyes at her, “you’re on probation until then.”

She smiled.

I smiled back.

Funny…

For someone who’d spent his whole life believing love was merely another form of self-destruction…

I’d never felt more alive.

I used to think I collected ghosts. Turns out, I was simply waiting for one stubborn little menace who refused to become one.

I thought she’d be another page, another poem, another person I’d bury beneath ink before pretending they’d never existed.

Instead, she reached into every sentence I’d ever written and changed the ending.

Maybe that’s the thing about stories.

You don’t always know you’re writing a tragedy until someone walks in and quietly decides it deserves another draft.

I once believed she was my greatest sin.

Now…

I think she was my salvation wearing the wrong disguise.

People say ink lasts forever.

They’re wrong.

Ink fades.

Paper burns.

Memories fracture.

Even hearts forget.

But somehow…

She remembered me.

And that was enough, more than enough.

I used to write because I was terrified of forgetting.

Now…

I want to live enough that I no longer need to.

Maybe that’s what healing is.

Not forgetting the fire.

But finally walking away from it.

Hand in hand.

My pages were still stained with ink.

Only now, they finally read like a love story.

⊹˚₊‧───────────────────‧₊˚⊹

Author’s Note:

Can I cry? Can we all cry together? 🥺
I am not ready to say goodbye to my babies, I enjoyed writing them so much!

This is the last chapter, but we will get an epilogue for sure. The thing is, I haven’t planned it yet. So, you can drop what type of things you’d like to see. Their wedding? After that? Before that? Anything specific?

Also I wanted to thank you for giving me a chance, for reading this story, and sticking around, for voting and commenting and making us feel like a family.
Love ya guys 🫶🏻

Also,
Aylin, thank you for surviving Nathan.
Nathan, thank you for surviving yourself.

Heheh, see you soon in the epilogue 🩶