My Girlfriend Never Takes Off Her Makeup But I Finally Caught Her And Now I’m Scared For My Life

Okay, I know how this title might sound, but I swear it’s not just me being superficial or anything. I guess I should start off by introducing myself. My name’s Will, and I’m 26. I’ve been dating my girlfriend Shelly since my Freshmen year of college. We met in the same communications class and I was kind of surprised when she wanted to go out with me.

Let me explain.

Shelly’s that one girl who no matter how good-looking you are just seems out of your league. She’s like a ten out of ten on all fronts. Beautiful, smart, sweet, and probably has the best sense of humor of any girl I’ve ever met. She’s like 5’11 and has the most amazing clear complexion. Her eyes are big, blue, and bombastically beautiful. Her hair is the prettiest shade of autumn red and it falls down her back in beachy waves.