Chapter 38

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The ICU smelled of antiseptic and silence.
Not the peaceful kind, no.
This silence screamed louder than any chaos outside.

I sat beside him, in the hard metal chair that had become mine for the night. The only constant in this nightmare.

Nav lay motionless on the hospital bed. Machines beeped in soft rhythms around him, each sound a cruel reminder, he was here… but not really here.

His face was covered in bruises, lips chapped, a bandage ran from his shoulder down to his side. Tubes. And that damn oxygen mask that fogged slightly every time the machine breathed for him.

And yet, he looked calm. Too calm. Like a statue.

I leaned forward slowly, careful not to disturb anything.
And whispered

“Tum… sun rahe ho na?”

( You are listening right?)

No response.

My voice broke, barely a breath.

“Mujhe pata hai main buri hoon… galat hoon. Sab kuch… sab kuch meri wajah se hua.”

(“I know I’m bad… I’m wrong. Everything… everything happened because of me.”)
A tear slipped past, tracing my cheekbone before falling onto his sheet.

“I shouldn’t have been part of your life. I shouldn’t have stayed so close.”
I clenched my fists. “ main toh… main toh sirf bad luck hoon, Nav. Jis bhi insaan ko chaha… woh chala gaya ya tut gaya, or something bad happened with them”
My throat tightened, a lump rising so fast I couldn’t breathe.
“inu. Uske parents, maa bhi mujhse gussa ho gai thi, i ruined my father’s repo… you… sab meri wajah se.”

( “I shouldn’t have been part of your life. I shouldn’t have stayed so close.”“I’m just… I’m just bad luck, Nav. Whoever I’ve loved… they either left, or broke, or something bad happened to them.”“Inu. Her parents—my mother too—got angry with me. I ruined my father’s reputation… you… everything is because of me.”)

I looked at him again, hoping, praying, that his eyes would flutter open. That he’d do one of his stupid eyebrow lifts and say something like ‘drama mat karo’ just to shut me up.

But nothing.

Just the beeping.
Just the machines doing what his body couldn’t.

My fingers wrapped around his hand, the one that wasn’t bandaged. Cold.

“ nav … After sooo soo many years, you are the one i started to trust, you always get emotions out of me, in the form of anger or maybe smiles or– i won’t tell. You can’t be the one to leave me. Please.”

I leaned in, forehead gently resting on the edge of his bed, my hand still holding his.

Then i thought struck to my mind and i close my eyes and said

“ Mahadev, aap to devo ke dev hai, can you please save him too?”

(Mahadev, you are god’s god)

Then i hold navs hand
Then,softly, I started whispering.

“ॐ त्र्यम्बकं यजामहे सुगन्धिं पुष्टिवर्धनम्।
उर्वारुकमिव बन्धनान् मृत्योर्मुक्षीय माऽमृतात्॥”

Again.
And again.
And again.

Not because I understood every word.
But because someone had once told me, it saves lives.

And I needed Nav to live.
More than I needed anything else.

Time blurred. My head was heavy. My voice slowed down but I didn’t stop. My tears had dried, but my eyes still burned.

But i didn’t stop.

My head heavy, mene ghr valo to bhej diya, subh, ayanshi ko khana khila diya, but i didn’t even ate a bite of food. Maybe i am punishing myself or maybe i just don’t get appetite

My thoughts and my mantra suddenly gets interrupt by

A movement. Barely a twitch.

My breath caught. I froze.

I stared at his hand. Waiting.

Then it happened again. His finger. A small jerk. Too tiny to trust.
But real.

“Nav?” I whispered, voice shaking.

Nothing.

I leaned closer. “Nav… can you hear me?”

A third twitch. This time stronger. His finger closed, just slightly, around mine.

“nav.. …” My heart leapt to my throat.

Then

He gripped my hand.
Not tight. Not full. But there. A light touch

“SUBHHHHH!!” I screamed, louder than I ever had in my life. My voice echoed down the corridor.

My body was shaking, half in joy, half in disbelief. I leaned closer, my face near his as tears flowed uncontrollably.

“nav nav open your eyes please.. don’t make me cry more… .” my voice cracked into sobs.

The door burst open. Subh ran in, panic written all over his face. “Kya hua? Kya—?”

( What happened – what?)

“ “He moved! He moved, Subh!” I said, half-laughing, half-sobbing. “Call the doctor now! Please-now!”

Subh rushed to the bed, eyes darting to his brother’s hand still faintly curled around mine. “veere ..” His voice broke.

“ call the doctors fast…”

Subh didn’t waste a second.

He ran from the room, screaming down the corridor for the medical team.

And I-

I just sat back down beside Nav, clutching his hand like a lifeline. My cheeks were damp. My heart was racing.

All I could say, on repeat, was

” Nav… just stay. Thank you thank you so much mahadev …”

Before I could say anything more, the nurses barged in,

And yet, in that moment, all I felt was his faint grip still holding mine.

A whisper. A promise.
He was fighting.

And I would stay. No matter what.

✧

NAV’S DREAM POV

Somewhere between darkness and memory.

It’s quiet.

Too quiet.

Not the kind of silence that feels calm. The kind that presses into your chest, like someone’s holding you down and you don’t know why.

I try to move, but my limbs feel heavy. Like I’m underwater. Like I don’t have a body at all,

I don’t remember where I am.

I don’t remember what happened.

But something’s not right.

Something’s wrong.

There’s fire in the back of my mind. Shouting. breaking. My father’s voice. Vani’s scream.

Pain.

And then, nothing.

Blackness.

I feel like I’m floating. Or falling. Or maybe stuck.

“Nav…”

I hear it faintly. A voice. Familiar.

Soft. Female. Breaking.

“Tum sun rahe ho na…”

( Are you listening right?)

Vani?

Her voice grows louder.

“I’m sorry…”

What?

Why is she crying?

“Main bad luck hoon, Nav… main sabke saath yeh hi karti hoon…”

( I am bad luck…i do this with everyone)

No… you’re not.

I try to say it, but my mouth won’t move.

I try to reach for her. But I can’t feel my hands.

And yet, I feel her. Around me. Like her presence is the only warm thing in this cold, thick nothingness.

“You can’t be the one to leave me. Please” she whispers.

No.

I try again, No, I’m not.

But she can’t hear me.

Suddenly, I hear something else.

A rhythm.Like a chant.

“ॐ त्र्यम्बकं यजामहे…”

The words echo around me.Soft. Sacred.

With every repetition, something shifts.

The pressure in my chest lessens. The weight pulling me down loosens its grip.

I hear her voice, crying, but steady.

And I follow it.

I chase it like it’s the only thing I know.

Then,

A pull.

Something real. My fingers.

Move.
Come on. Just move.

For her.

Just move.

Her voice grows louder. Closer.

“Nav?”

I feel warmth. Her hand?

I grip it. Weak, but real.

And in that moment, for the first time since everything broke,

I know I’m still here.

And maybe…

Just maybe…

I’m coming back.

✧

The door opened again. This time slower.

The lead doctor stepped out, clipboard in hand, followed by a nurse. Everyone stood up as if pulled by the same invisible thread.

Simar aunty clutched her dupatta, maa was practically holding her breath, and Randeep uncle straightened up, like preparing for impact.

The doctor looked at them all. Tired, but calm.

“He’s out of immediate danger,” he said. “Vitals are more stable now. The response we observed earlier was not just a reflex, it was intentional.”

The collective breath in the hallway released at once.

“But,” the doctor added, “he’s still unconscious. There’s no brain trauma, which is good, but he needs to wake up on his own. We’ll continue close monitoring. There’s no sign of coma… yet. But the next 24–48 hours will be telling.”

There was a brief pause.

Then he asked, “Who was here when he first responded?”

Everyone glanced at each other.

Subh opened his mouth, but I quietly stepped forward.

“I was,” I  said, voice tight with nerves. “Main thi…”

The doctor gave me a small smile. “Were you speaking to him?”

I hesitated. Then nodded. “Yes.”

“That’s a very good sign,” he said, with more warmth now. “Sometimes patients in a coma-like state respond to familiar voicesespecially when there’s emotional connection. Keep talking to him. Keep calling him back. If he’s fighting with his will, your voice could guide him.”

Vani swallowed, her throat tightening for a completely different reason now.

And then,

Simar aunty stepped towards me. My tears started falling

‘Vese to sunte nahi ho ..  ab sun hi rahe ho to aa jao na please’

( In general you don’t listen to me.. but if you are listening now.. please come back)

( Vani’s thought about saying this to him internally)

She cupped my face gently and pulled me into a soft hug.

I stood stiff for a second, caught off guard, then let myself breathe into it. Something in my chest cracked.

“You don’t know what you’ve done for him, for us” Simar aunty whispered kissing my head, “Beta, thank you.”

When she pulled back, her hands lingered on my cheeks, eyes glistening with tears, but now finally touched with hope.

“will you stay with him, hmm?” she added, voice breaking. “Keep talking to him. If anyone can bring him back… it’s you.”

Randeep uncle, standing a few feet away, didn’t say much, but for the first time in days, he smiled. Just a little. And nodded.

Maa looked at me, her own expression softening, as if a layer of resentment or protectiveness had just quietly… dissolved.

There was a faint but deep shift in the air.

I looked down maybe because i don’t want them to see.

“ excuse me.” i said and went out.
And sat around the corner, I can no more hold my tears, they found there way to escape through my cheeks.

“ it is my fault, I am the evil one, if only nav hadn’t come to save me, he wouldn’t be lying like this, its all my–” my sob break my voice.

I hear footsteps coming towars me and i instantly wiped my cheeks, but i don’t have strength to stood up,

Someone put his hand my head while i was still looking down with my head hanging low, i assume it was uncle.

“ never ever think it was your fault bacha… I can too blame my self that if he hadn’t come to save me I– but,” he looked at simar aunty “ someone made me understand, we feel guilty, we always save and protect our love ones, if i was the one on nav’s place i would have saved him too or anyone.
So don’t you ever think its because of you. Hm?”  i can’t control my tears more, a sobbed escaped again and I nodded

✧

After 2 more days
At night

Nav’s vitals were holding. His body showed tiny movements-fingers twitching, slight flutters of the eyelids-but he hadn’t opened his eyes. Not fully. Not once.

But now the family members started to relax a little. Maybe because of my constant nagging.

They are eating. Atleast something but not a proper meal. And ayanshi also made me eat while i was trying so hard not to cry.

“ tum ek number ke kutte ho nav. I hate you sooo much.. langur, karela, bandar kahika… You are so so so annoying i hate you. I hate you …” i sobbed again..

(“You’re a complete jerk, Nav. I hate you so, so much… you monkey, you bitter gourd, you idiot… You are so, so, so annoying. I hate you. I hate you…” I sobbed again.)

“ its been so many days… Are maat tang kro na… You know your mom, and my mom, turned corridor into a mandir and gurdwara. Where aunty is reciting path, and my mom recites mantar, and me? Nai mai koch ni krti… Mai kyu kru? Why should i do something for you huh? Are you listening to me?” a tear drop from my eyes

(“It’s been so many days… don’t trouble me, okay? You know your mom and my mom—they’ve turned the corridor into a mandir and a gurdwara. Aunty is reciting prayers, my mom is chanting mantras, and me? No, I’m not doing anything. Why should I? Why should I do anything for you, huh? Are you even listening to me?”)

“ its been so many days. But nahi, uthne ka naam nahi hai ….halat dekhi hai apne parents ki? Subh ki?…. Meri?”

“ bus ho gya… Its enough nav.. i sm getting so frustrated how can you not listen… Its been enough. If .. if you don’t wake up now I’ll….I’ll burn your favourite jacket and and thatt your ugly sunglasses too .. and I .. I’ll ” I hold his hand tighter, i have no words …

(“It’s been so many days. But no—there’s no sign of you waking up… have you seen the condition of your parents? Of Subh’s? … mine?”

“Enough now… it’s enough, Nav. I’m getting so frustrated—how can you not listen? It’s been enough. If… if you don’t wake up now, I’ll… I’ll burn your favourite jacket, and those ugly sunglasses too… and I… I—” )

I dropped my head against his hand and sat on the floor ….

✧

Two Days Later

The soft beeping of the machines, beep like my every rhythmic pulse. I  couldn’t move a finger. Everything felt heavy… sluggish… distant. Until now.

Something feels heavy.

Weight.

I couldn’t move my arm.

A warm, comforting weight on my hand. Small. Familiar. Still.

I slowly try to open my eyes, the world around me seens blurry at first, shapes forming slowly like a dream. The scent of hospital was sharp, but what reached me stronger… was a scent. Faint, but.

I blinked again. My eyes focused on the hand resting top of mine.
Vani?

Her head bowed, resting on my  arm as she slept on the edge of the hospital bed, like she’d been glued to this spot for days.

My dry lips twitched in a half smile.  I gently moved my hand, trying not to wake her, and slipped the oxygen mask off my face, placing it on the pillow beside me. A slight hiss escaped my mouth, but I didn’t care.

My eyes drank her in, the dark circles under her eyes, the way her fingers were curled around my hand, and the way her lips looks, like she was arguing with me in her sleep again.

‘ its my fault.’ her words echo in my mind. ‘ I’ll burn your jacket’ achaa? Hath to laga ke dikhao…
I exhaled a tiny laugh, raspy.

(“It’s my fault.” Her words echo in my mind.
“I’ll burn your jacket.” Oh really? Just try touching it.)

Pagal ladki.
( Crazy girl)

I shook my head slightly.

Zyada bolti hai… lekin acha lagta hai sunna.

( She talks too much but it feels nice to hear her)
God… I must be seriously injured to admit that.

Just then, the door slowly open. I  turned my head slowly, and there he was, Subh. Standing awkwardly at the doorway, hand still on the knob, as if he was afraid reality might shift again.

Tears welled up in Subh’s eyes the second He saw me awake.

I gave him a slow, silent shake of my head and gestured towards Vani-shhh.

He tiptoed in, eyes already glassy, and then… the idiot tripped over a stool and almost fell on my IV line.

“Abbe sambhal,” I whispered hoarsely.

( Hey look)

His face crumpled in relief. “Nav…”

“Nav… tu pagal hai kya? Aise stunt karne ka kya matlab tha? Tere dimaag mein-“

( “Nav… are you mad? What was the point of pulling a stunt like that? What were you thinking—”)

He reached forward and hugged me shoulders shaking.

“ ouch… Subh burnss…”I hissed

Subh instantly pulled back, horrified.

“Shit-sorry-tu thik hai?”

( Shit are you okay?)

I smiled and nodded

“ you were crying? I Asked him

“ pagal hai kya? Teri liye thodi rougan?” he said looked nonchalant

( Are you mad? Why will I cry for you?)

“ haan hann… Your red eyes say otherwise”

Subh chuckled softly, a hand over his mouth, tears spilling over anyway.

A moment of silence pass,

“Sala mujhe laga tu mujhe dekh ke aankh kholega… lekin ladki ka chakkar babu bhaiya…” he whispered, half-laughing, half-sniffling.

(“Damn, I thought you’d open your eyes when you saw me… but no—girls before bros, Babubhaiya…”
he whispered, half-laughing, half-sniffling.)

I rolled my eyes dramatically. “Bhai, tujhe dekh ke toh main vaapas coma mein chala jaata.”

(“Bro, seeing you, I’d rather go back into a coma.”)

Subh stifled a laugh again and placing a hand over my chest to hug again, but by mistake pressed too hard on one of the burn dressings.

“Ah dheree…yaar!” I winced, glaring.

( Slow man)

“Sorry sorry!” Subh panicked.
When i smiled, so he wouldn’t be guilty he narrow his eyes and said

“Mujhe laga tu ab Ironman ban gaya hoga…”

( I thought you would be iron man by now)

“Yeh Ironman pehle wali battery pe chal raha hai,” I muttered. “Thoda sambhaal ke.”

( This iron man is working on old batteries)

Subh finally broke into full laughter and, without another word, leaned down and hugged me, careful this time.

“veere i missed you so much…. Thank you soo much, vapis aane ke liye” Subh murmured, his voice breaking.

( Thank you so much for coming back)

“ kahin gya hi ni tha mai buddhu.” I said.

( I didn’t went away, idiot)

Vani stirred.

Her eyelashes fluttered as she lifted her head groggily, her eyes first falling on Subh, then slowly turning towards me

And froze.

I gave her a half-smile, my voice dry but teasing.

“Hi… solnyska.”

She gasped, eyes going wide. her eyes glinsting but she didn’t let the tears fall.  For a second, the world stood still. And then–

______________________________________

Achaaa to hum chalteee haiiiii…..