Chapter 1 – Chap 1

I suppose it all happened about twelve years ago. I’d hoped to have purged the memories from my mind by now, and that once seemed like a possibility with enough time and effort. I did everything in my power to forget about it, to pretend those things never happened. Hell, I tried every drug there was just to burn the thoughts away.

I’m mostly clean now. Besides, it didn’t work.

The memories are still there, haunting my every waking moment and even seeping into my dreams. After over a decade of trying to run from it, I can still feel this dark and immense weight upon my shoulders. But it’s more than just a weight.

It has a name.

It has a shape.

Sometimes I can still feel it in my head, probing with icy fingers. Back then we called it Raphael, but I’ve only ever thought of it as the angel.

What an absurd name. There was nothing angelic about that fucking thing.

–

We stood beneath the aged wooden roof of our “basecamp” – an old decrepit shed located in the woods behind our neighborhood. Elijah and Isaiah stood in front of me playing rock, paper, scissors. They’d already tied three times in a row, but the game finally ended when one of them opted for rock, handily beating his brother’s measly scissors.

“I win. That means you’re it.”

I scrutinized them and tried to determine who the winner was. Elijah and Isaiah were identical twins, and even after knowing them for six months, I still had trouble telling them apart. They were completely indistinguishable in every respect, from the mop of curly red hair on their heads to the freckles that dotted their faces. On days like today, they even opted to dress the same, which only made my task more difficult.

“Dammit,” the loser snapped.

I nodded. That meant Isaiah had won. Elijah was the only one who cursed. Though he was slightly more rebellious than his brother, they were both rather reserved for a couple of fourteen-year-olds. Their parents were intensely pious Christians, and the two boys were almost equally religious. I felt sorry for them in a way.

Born to a preacher and an ardent missionary, they spent their entire lives being dragged around the country before finally settling in the house that neighbored mine . Their parents claimed that this would be the last time they moved, but the twins knew better. They lived with the constant knowledge that their parents might hear “God’s call” again, and they’d be whisked away with only a few days’ notice.

Still grumbling about his loss, Elijah moved to face the shed and covered his eyes.

“No peeking,” I called. “If I catch you cheating again, I’ll tell your parents about those vulgar images you were looking at on my computer.”

He stiffened and glared at me. “Godspeed,” he said then turned back to the shed and began counting out loud.

With that, Isaiah and I darted off to find sufficient hiding places. He sprinted to my left, likely heading toward a cluster of fallen trees that he habitually hid in. Shaking my head, I moved deeper into the woods, looking for a tree to climb. I was tall, one of the tallest people in my class, and my long limbs made climbing particularly easy. There was a thicket of pine trees nearby, and they would provide perfect cover. Elijah wouldn’t be able to spot me through their dense needles.

Within minutes, I found the perfect tree and began my ascent. My body fell into a sort of rhythm as I dragged myself from one branch to the next, moving farther and farther upward. I was about halfway up the tree when I noticed something different about the forest to my left. It was difficult to see through the dense branches, but it looked as if there was a crater in the earth.

I shifted around to get a better view and gaped in amazement. A large hole marred the forest, surrounded on all sides by a ring of toppled trees. It was unlike anything I’d ever seen. The forest was only a short walk from my home, and I’d explored it countless times since childhood. I was absolutely certain that the crater was a new feature.

The game forgotten, I scrambled down the tree and sprinted toward crater. As I moved through the forest, I pondered what could have caused such a thing. Had a meteor landed in the forest? Just the thought of it sent tingles of excitement down my spine. Although, my excitement dulled when I considered that it was likely something more mundane like a burst gas line.

Finally, I reached the outskirts of the crater. With the ragged hole laid out before me, I realized that I’d drastically underestimated the scope of the damage. The crater was at least thirty yards wide. Large clods of dirt and debris littered the surrounding area, and numerous trees lay on their sides, felled by the force of the blast. The impact had disrupted a small creek, and water flowed into the depression, filling it up like a pond.

Something floated in the accumulated water at the center, and I squinted at the strange object, attempting to discern what it was. It floated just beneath the water’s surface, bobbing slightly to and fro, so it definitely wasn’t a meteor. Also, it seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. Rainbow hues glinted and faded with the motion of the object.

I stood there for a while, fixated on the shifting colors and tranquil movement. Even in the midst of utter carnage, there was something tranquil about it. The shape was strange, and there appeared to be some limp protrusions extending from its center.

My trance was broken by the sound of pounding feet nearby. Figuring it was the twins, I turned and shouted to get their attention. The footsteps grew louder, and I was greeted moments later by two bobbing points of red bursting through the foliage.

“Really? You’re worse than him,” Elijah shouted, pointing to his brother. “You didn’t even try to hide.”

I shook my head and gestured toward the crater. “Forget about the game. I found something even better.”

The two boys turned, and their eyes widened in surprise.

“What is it?” Isaiah asked.

“It’s a crater.”

Isaiah fixed his brother with a cold stare. “I know that. But what caused it?”

I shrugged. “I have no idea, but there’s something in the water down there. It’s floating around, and it looks shiny.”

The two boys peered closely at the crater, and they grinned when their eyes fell upon the bobbing shape.

“What do you think it is?” Elijah asked.

“I guess we’ll just have to find out,” I said.

The twins stiffened and shook their heads. “I’m not going down there,” Elijah said.

“Me neither. What if it’s radioactive or something?”

I turned my gaze back to the crater. “I’m sure it’s fine.”

Despite my words, I didn’t want to investigate the strange object either. The new topography posed numerous dangers, and I didn’t relish the thought of exposing myself to them.

“You’re the one that found it, so you’re the one that has to investigate it,” Elijah proclaimed.

“That’s not fair,” I said. “Let’s play rock, paper, scissors to see who goes.”

They shook their heads again and planted their feet. “Not gonna happen. Either you see what’s down there, or we spend the rest of our lives wondering what it was.”

I sighed and glared at the twins. They were reserved, but they were also incredibly stubborn when they wanted to be. “Fine,” I said, turning on my heel and making my way down the slope. “But if it’s valuable, then I get to keep it.”

They didn’t respond, and I glanced over my shoulder to see Isaiah making the sign of the cross. I shook my head and chuckled. Man, they really needed to hang out with someone other than their parents. One friend wouldn’t be enough to tear them away from years of being raised like monks.

I turned my attention to the slope and began carefully picking my way down. It was steeper than it looked, and I almost fell several times. I kept my eyes fixed on my feet, wary of the loose terrain. Slipping and tumbling into the pool below was the last thing I wanted to do.

As the water’s edge rose to meet me, I turned my eyes from my feet and gazed into its depths. The pool was murky, and I couldn’t quite make out what it contained. The object still shimmered as it bobbed about, but it remained just under the surface, obscured by the dark water.

Just then, I noticed something strange about the surrounding area. They were previously indistinguishable, obscured by the debris within the crater, but black feathers littered the ground around its center. They looked strangely large, too large to have come from any bird I’d seen before. Rainbow shimmers played across them, just like the thing in the water. Was it some kind of giant crow species? Had it been struck by whatever caused the impact?

I cupped my hands around my mouth and called back to the twins. “Come down here. It seems safe enough.”

They remained rooted in place and regarded the crater suspiciously.

“Just do it,” I prodded, waving them forward. “There’s some big ass feathers down here. I think it’s a giant bird or something.”

Spurred by curiosity, Elijah reluctantly began making his way down the slope. Isaiah hesitated for a moment, then crossed himself again and followed suit. After only a couple steps, he stumbled and fell as gravity took hold and sent him careening toward me. Elijah just barely managed to dodge the Isaiah-missile, and I dug my feet into the earth, prepared to catch him. Fortunately, he managed to grab an exposed root and stop his haphazard descent.

“Maybe you should have crossed yourself a few more times,” I quipped.

“You’re going to burn in hell one of these days,” Isaiah said as he stopped beside me and occupied himself with brushing dirt from his clothes.

“All in good time,” I responded, turning back toward the crater’s center. “But let’s focus on the demon crow floating in the water.”

“Crow?” Elijah asked.

“Demon?” Isaiah said, his voice higher than usual.

I pointed to a nearby feather. “Based on the size of those feathers, we have a crow that could pummel Dwayne Johnson into the dirt.” I paused and thought for a moment. “I guess it’s probably more like a raven since they’re bigger.”

The twins stared at me like I’d just spoken in tongues.

“Dwayne Johnson?” Isaiah asked, mystified.

I sighed. “You guys really need to get out more.” Baffled by their complete ignorance of pop culture, I turned my attention back to the thing in the water. “Should we touch it?”

“Do you want your fingers to melt off?” Elijah said.

“Fair point,” I muttered, walking around and scanning the dirt. Finding what I was looking for, I knelt then stood to brandish a long stick. “Behold, the poking stick.”

The twins watched as I stood by the water’s edge and prodded at the strange form. It met something solid, but the object refused to turn. Whatever it was, it felt heavy.

I poked harder, trying to turn the thing over several more times, but it wouldn’t budge. Annoyed, I began smacking it with the stick. The twins gasped at my sudden violence and stumbled back as if afraid the thing might retaliate. I grinned at their skittish response and began putting more force behind my blows.

Thwack.

Thwack.

Thwa-

Suddenly the thing thrashed about, flinging water everywhere and spattering me with mud. I dropped the stick and leapt back, noting that the twins had done the same. My heart pounded in my ears, and my breath came hard and fast as I watched the turmoil in the water. We slowly backed away from the flailing form, attempting to put as much distance as possible between ourselves and the commotion while remaining close enough to satisfy our curiosity.

The thing seemed to gain its bearings, and a soaring figure rose from the water’s murky depths. My hands trembled as more of its body became visible. The creature was impossibly large, standing at least eight feet tall. I’d retreated several feet up the slope and stood on much higher ground, but I was only barely at eye level with it.

Brown water dripped from its pale white skin, and two long, spindly arms hung at the creature’s sides. It was somewhat humanoid, seeming to have the correct number of appendages and similar proportions. However, there were two stark differences between the creature and myself.

The first difference was its face. Rather than typical human features, the thing’s face was entirely smooth, comprised of flat, pallid flesh interrupted by a single enormous eye situated at its center.

The second difference was less ghastly but perhaps even more surprising: two enormous black wings protruded from the creature’s back. Obsidian feathers shimmered in the sunlight, and – though they were bent and twisted – the wings spanned at least twice the creature’s height.

I tried to speak, but the words caught in my throat. Every instinct told me to run, to sprint away before the creature could attack, but my legs were rooted to the earth. My entire body trembled, aching to flee, but my legs simply wouldn’t respond to my command. The twins seemed equally afflicted, and they stared at the thing with a mix of awe and horror.

We waited, frozen in silence, expecting the dreadful creature to lurch forward and grab us at any moment. However, the seconds ticked on like hours, and the creature remained in place, seeming to silently study us with a curiosity that mirrored our own.

“What…” I trailed off, unable to finish my question as fear gripped my throat like a vice. What if my words caused it to attack?

To my surprise, Isaiah relaxed and took a step toward the creature. He gazed at it in awe, his hands trembling slightly. Then he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

“It’s an angel.”

I glared at him, silently willing him to shut up and keep his religious fervor to himself. The creature cocked its head slightly in response to his words, fixing him with a steady gaze. While I gritted my teeth, frantically trying to think of a way to escape, Elijah stepped forward and stood beside his brother.

“It is,” he said, his mouth agape. “It’s a real angel.”

The creature’s gaze turned to him, and it stared unblinking. I suddenly found myself wondering if it even had eyelids. Fear still roiled in my gut, but I managed to relax slightly and consider the situation from a logical perspective. The creature didn’t seem violent, and it bore no predatory features despite its size. The thing’s fingers lacked claws, and it didn’t have a mouth, so there was no way it could bite us – at least, I hoped that was the case.

Breathing deeply, I managed to work up the courage to speak. “You think that fucking thing is an angel?” I hissed at the twins.

They nodded in unison, their eyes fixed on the creature.

“It looks nothing like an angel.”

“Actually, it does,” Elijah said. “You just don’t know what angels really look like.”

“They’re elegant, pretty dudes with giant wings and human features,” I said. “That thing only checks one of those boxes.”

Isaiah shook his head. “That’s just the image of angels portrayed in media. Real biblical angels are supposed to be terrifying and inhuman. It inspires awe in their holiness.”

I glanced back and forth between the creature and the twins then took a hesitant step forward. “You’re telling me that the bible describes angels as looking like that?”

Both brothers crossed themselves and bowed their heads slightly in deference to the creature.

“Interpretations vary, but mostly yes. They’re supposed to be humanoid but with some differences that set them apart from mankind.” Elijah’s eyes were wet, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. “It’s beautiful.”

Isaiah nodded his agreement. His eyes were misty as well, and his lip trembled.

I glanced at the eerie creature, scrutinizing its features as curiosity began to overshadow my fear. I wouldn’t describe it as beautiful, although there was a certain elegance to it. The thing’s body looked as if a normal human had been stretched. It was thin and spindly, almost gaunt, and I briefly considered that its narrow form might be streamlined for flight.

Black strands protruded from its head where hair would normally be, but they seemed more like tentacles than real hair. They were slightly wider than a grown man’s finger at their base but narrowed to a fine point further down. A thin silver line spiraled down each strand, as if the creature had meticulously wrapped them in fine wire.

“I think it’s hurt,” Isaiah said, nodding toward its twisted wings. Patches of dark skin glistened where feathers were missing.

“We should take care of it,” Elijah added.

I looked back and forth between them. “Are you two crazy? We’re not taking care of that thing.”

Their eyes hardened and they glared at me. “It’s an injured angel,” Elijah said. “It would be a sin not to help it.”

His brother nodded as he spoke.

“That’s not a fucking angel,” I said, resisting the urge to shout. “It’s a monster.”

“It doesn’t seem to be acting very monstrous,” Isaiah said.

“It’s not like you would know the difference between a monster and an angel anyway, atheist.” Elijah said the word like it was a curse.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, acutely aware that I was losing the argument. They were right. The thing, whatever it was, didn’t seem violent. It was just standing there, watching us as we debated. I wasn’t sure if the twins’ claims about biblical angels were true, but they obviously knew more about religion than me. The entire basis for my argument was that it looked scary. What did I know?

Suddenly, Isaiah stepped toward the thing so that they were only a few feet apart. I resisted the urge to sprint forward and tear him away from the creature.

“Are you hurt,” he asked with a gentle smile.

The thing cocked its head at his words but didn’t respond. I wondered if it was even capable of speech. There was no indication of a mouth or anything that could produce sound. Although, it seemingly heard Isaiah despite its apparent lack of ears.

The boy took another step forward and held out his hand toward the creature. “Do you need help.”

It glanced down at his outstretched hand, and I could have sworn there was hunger in its eyes. But, instead of snatching Isaiah’s arm and tearing him to shreds, it merely regarded him with curiosity.

“Come on,” Isaiah said, moving away from the creature and gesturing for it to follow. “We’ll take care of you.”

Elijah mimicked his brother’s motion and began moving away from the crater’s center. The thing stared for a moment, seemingly confused by their actions. Then as if struck by realization, it gave a small nod and began lumbering forward. As it did so, I became fully aware of its enormous size. I’d accurately estimated its height at around eight feet, but I hadn’t fully processed just how tall that was until it stood before me, its lower body no longer obscured by pooling water.

Afraid of the creature, I scrambled up the slope in pursuit of the twins. They were slowly ascending the crater, stopping intermittently to wave the angel forward. I kept my distance, walking several feet ahead of them and glancing over my shoulder to watch the thing as it followed us. It didn’t seem malicious, but something about the tall, spindly thing sent chills down my spine.

“Do you really think we should be bringing that thing with us?” I whispered to the twins.

Elijah sighed and fixed me with a hard stare. “For the last time, it’s an angel. Stop calling it a thing.”

“You don’t know that for sure,” I objected.

“What else could it be?”

I tried to come up with a response, but anything I said would sound ridiculous. I didn’t know what it was. An alien? A mutated human? Calling it an angel was absurd, but I didn’t have any better ideas. Besides, the twins were resolute in their belief. There would be no convincing them.

“Fine,” I relented. “It’s an angel. But I still think it’s dangerous.”

“Angels don’t hurt humans,” Isaiah proclaimed as if it were natural law. His brother nodded in agreement.

Defeated by their unshakable belief, I kept my mouth shut and continued walking. The angel followed close behind, taking long strides while gazing upward into the trees.

Eventually, we made our way to the shed that operated as our basecamp. The twins goaded the angel forward, urging it to enter the shed. It stood before the door for a moment, looking curiously at the structure. Then it ducked into the dark interior. I followed close behind, my body still tense in anticipation of a sudden attack.

Once we were inside, Elijah gazed up at the tall creature. “You probably need to rest.” He moved to a corner of the shed and began clearing away some fallen debris. “I’ll make some space for you to sit.”

The angel watched him move the old hunks of wood and metal that littered the shed. It was a miracle the dilapidated building hadn’t fallen down yet. Elijah lifted a thin sheet of metal and leapt back in surprise. Before I could see what had caused him to flinch away, a snake lashed out from under the sheet metal and bit him.

Everything after that seemed to happen in slow motion.

Elijah cried out in pain, kicking his leg out to ward the snake away. Then the air was filled with a sudden buzzing sound. It’s hard to describe, but the closest thing I can think of is the loud, grating buzz they put in soundtracks for science fiction movies. The kind that seems to penetrate your skull and vibrate your teeth. It came from no discernible location, but I somehow knew that the angel was causing it.

The creature raised a lanky arm and pointed at the snake. Suddenly, the reptile froze, its fangs bared and poised to strike. Then it slowly pressed its head to the floor and began to curl in on itself. The motion was strange looking, as if someone had physically grabbed the snake and twisted it into a circle. Then, to my surprise and horror, it bit its own tail. The reptile continued gorging on itself, slowly choking its way forward.

We watched in fascinated disgust as it began to writhe while continuing to swallow itself. It got almost half of its own body down before going completely limp. The buzzing sound came again, but it was different this time, not as violent or ferocious. In a way, it almost sounded satisfied.

Without warning, the angel lurched forward and grabbed Elijah by the shoulders. I started to move forward but stopped myself. What could I do against that thing? It was enormous, not to mention the fact that it just forced a snake to eat itself. Isaiah seemed equally surprised, but his brother put up no resistance. Instead, he looked up to the creature in reverence.

To my surprise, the creature didn’t attack him. Instead, a dull glow began to surround Elijah’s body, seeming to emanate from the angel’s hands on his shoulders. The glow moved down his body until it reached the wound on his leg. Two ragged marks dotted his calf, and blood ran from them, staining his sock red.

When the light reached his wound, the holes appeared to grow smaller. The skin knit itself together until all that remained was smooth skin stained by blood. Elijah glanced down at the miracle, his eyes growing wide with surprise and religious ecstasy. Once the healing was done, the angel removed his hands from the boy’s shoulders and stood there looking down upon him. The air around us buzzed once again, sounding somehow self-satisfied.

“Raphael,” Elijah whispered, tears rolling down his face.

His brother seemed equally emotional. “You’re right,” he gasped. “It’s Raphael.”

They looked to me as if expecting confirmation of their claim. But I merely stared back in surprise and confusion. “What?”

“Don’t you see?” Elijah said, looking upward to stare into the angel’s one large eye. “Raphael is the angel of healing.”

Once again, I was at a loss for words. Religion was not something I was particularly well versed in, and the twins knew far more than me. The creature had protected Elijah from the snake and healed him. Maybe it was an angel after all.

As if in response to my thought, the angel moved away from Elijah and stooped to pick up the dead snake. Then, like a child, it sat on the ground and held the creature in its hands. It toyed with the snake, seemingly fascinated with the way it moved. The action was innocent and childish, almost cute in a way.

Then, something about the angel’s eye changed. It was no longer curious or childlike. The expression conveyed by the creature’s gaze was one of hunger. A crease formed above its chin, and its face split open to reveal a gaping, slimy mouth. Holding the snake up to its face, the tentacle-like protrusions on its head reached out and began to shovel the reptile into its mouth. It didn’t seem to have teeth, and it swallowed the snake whole with greedy hunger.

Then its singular eye turned to me, and I saw that it was still hungry. It looked at me in the same way it had looked at the snake, as nothing more than food, nothing more than another morsel to swallow whole.