Chapter 6 – Mahalia's confession - 1932

A Letter by Mahalia (Date unknown – speculated to be August or September in 1632)

To who ever finds and reads this, you may have heard things said of me and what has been happening with the colony, and so I must confess the truth to anyone who will hear me. I had to leave the colony. It was my time to go, as my family needed me more than them. I have come to appreciate the love and friendship I have received where I could find it. I loved the children who’d come to me and ask me about the forest people.

No doubt you’ve heard things about me before I departed. One is true, but I write this letter to make sure people know the truth, and left clues to let a few with keen eyes and ears to find. No mater what happens to or is said of me, my word must be told. And I loved what they’d teach me of other people, lands and cultures, some even tried to guess what tribe my birth family came from. It matters not, because my true family is the forest people. And my true friends are few.

Over the years, Anya, one of the people who taught me English, was in turn one of many people who come to me to learn my language, and as her daughter Edith began to walk, she’d bring her to me every few days, and as Edith began to talk, she’d call me as “auntie”. The two have become my favourite students, as they took my warnings of the Gugwe, Genoskwa and the Dog Men seriously. I told them how even my clan was a dangerous one, and will attack when threatened. Anya would invite me to her and Erik’s home every chance she gets. “My little one, she needs as much of a good influence as she can get, and you’re probably the best she can get.“

I try not to speak of the Devourer, but Greeshawn Chase hasn’t been making it easy with what he’s preaching in his church. Speaking too much of it draws it’s attention. But I still felt it’s presence, sometimes as a whisper in the wind, sometimes with a movement in the trees, and we are to never pay it attention should we hear it. They have become especially overwhelming these days, but that’s not why I must go. I recently fell under a number of accusations, but not all of them slander.

It has been a few weeks ago when Angelica Chase approached me in the farmhouse. It was the only place I could stay. Mrs. Angelica was one of many who’d come to me over the years to learn what I had to teach. Days ago, she stopped for breakfast. While we were eating, she asked me “My husband’s faith has never failed him before. He’s been persecuted by his church, his own father looked down on him for not being his heir, and he’s gone through trials that would have broken lesser men. But these people, they did something different to him.”

“Do you presume me to be the cause ?” I ask her.

“You led him to those creatures.“

“No,” I say “I tried to lead him to my clan, and my clan helped save them from the others. Had Oskar Muller not tried to kill me, and took us off the path, none of the slaughter would have commenced. I would have shown them where to avoid the tainted.”

“The wrong path ?” She questions “What do you call the right path ? For as long as I was with my husband, the right path was following the lord by his will and example. It never steered us wrong, but to see what else is out there,” she pauses before she finally says “I never seen Benjamin scared, and the fear I have seen in him was comparable to that of a small child who witnessed the death of their mother. It was very the fear I felt after what happened to my sister.” She starts before she stops.

Reading her features, there was little fear, but plenty of shame and regret. It may not have been appropriate, but I asked “What happened to you ? What happened to your sister ?“

She took another moment of silence, and I read expressions of offence, confusion and anger, before her face shifted back to being solemn “I thought all here knew that story. It was my forgiven sin.“

“If you are forgiven, why do you still feel shame ?“

“It was when I was pregnant with Greeshawn, and my sister was still with us. We were whores when Benjamin found us and saved us, and we never separated until we came here, and Benjamin show us the way and path we were supposed to walk. And despite this, we still found the caves, and there me and Edith heard the wind, so we ran.”

“You heard the wind ? You heard the voice ?” I ask. I had a feeling I knew what was to come, and prepared myself for the worst of it.

“We were lost ourselves lost in those of caves, and Edith fell and was wounded,” she continued on despite tears forming in her eyes. I didn’t have it in me to interrupt. “She was sure to die, I could live and she knew it.” She kept pausing “And she knew food was scarce, and she too heard what the wind was speaking and told me that I had too do what it asked, that it would save my child; and so I gave in to the voices, and fed. Oskar Mueller was the only witness to what happened. When I told the Colony, my husband told me that both the Lord and my sister have forgiven me.“

“Then why is it you still feel guilt ?” I ask again, knowing there was more to her story.

“For the rest of my pregnancy, I still felt shame. I felt as if I did what God wanted me too, but at the same time, it felt like a parasite reached into my thoughts and wouldn’t let me go. So I prayed and prayed. I was hoping it was our lord answer, but to this day all I could do is doubt and wonder.”

I took her hands into mine and for the first time since I wrote my warning, I spoke of the unspeakable. “How much have I ever told you about my father ?”

“You always said your father was killed by the creatures.” She answers.

“No, he was my blood father,” I state as I prepare to teach this woman a lesson I have taught to others in her village. Being the ministers wife, it’s unlikely others have passed these teachings onto her “My forest father, the one who raised me. You probably couldn’t name him. Just like your people have colonies, the Forest people have clans. And like human villages, they have leaders or elders. Your husband met my father that night and he helped save his life from the giants.”

“I see,” she nods uncertainly “Well you know more of him than my husband, so what kind of leader was he ?” She sounded hesitant to question.

“He was among the oldest and wisest creatures I have ever known. He was old when I was young, and by then has fathered children of his own blood, and they had children themselves. But he was still strong, and it was that which kept him alive for such a long time, he may have been old even when you were young.” I start before I notice her smirk and chuckle a little.

“Can you please leave my age out of it ?”

“I apologize, didn’t mean any offence,” I smile back to her “But because of his age, the others feared warring with him. Often times, he’d be forced to keep the peace. Consider him one of the reasons your hunting parties or missionaries never run afoul of the likes of the others. He was an eager teacher to those who pass him by, and his knowledge included that of the spirit realm. Some Forest walk with one foot in our world, and another in the next. For example, he knew and taught me of a plant that if grown in a circle, or line, and it would keep the tainted from entering your land.”

“The tainted ?”

“I see that you’re confused,” I answer her “That’s what my father called those touched by the Devourer.”

“I heard you mention this devourer when you attended our church. You never try to talk too much about it.” She says, asking me for more to say.

“Your son would always have me thrown out when I brought it up,” I was hesitant to speak but I felt the truth had to come out “It’s almost a forbidden story; there is a creator and creation, but the true creation, our true selves are what is in our spirit. Some are dark, some are light, some are in between, but whatever is inside, our flesh bodies are only temporary temples. He told me of a time when man and animal alike looked out and protected each other, served each other in just the right way. Some of the greatest gifts is knowledge and wisdom, which is why it’s important to never loose it. Just as the strong was to protect the weak, the wise must teach the dull. And through this, those who were considered lesser, would become something better.”

“How uncanny,” Mrs. Chase starts, but stops herself before she could say more.

I continue “But just as there is a creator, my father told me of a wicked spirit. They called him Devourer because he never taught or shown how to give, but only what he can take. Consumption is all it cares for, and it prey upon the lust, greed, and hunger of others to serve its will. By giving in to wicked desires, kingdoms were built on the blood.” I silence myself as I felt a chill breeze drift through the room “All my life, I have been taught not to listen to it’s voice, and as long as I live here, I see people call it their God.” I try to read her face for expression

She looked uncertain, but not at me. She stutters before she gets up from her seat “I must inform my husbands flock.”

“Your husbands ? Your people haven’t been following your husband for two years, and he is right to be afraid. I believe he knows the truth about this land. Did you not say he left your house some nights ago and never returned ?” I ask her “Perhaps he is right to leave us.”

“Benjamin’s faith may have been shaken, but even he wouldn’t abandon his people. Perhaps he has been ministering to the sinners at the mining camp.” She says to me, still unsure of herself.

“Perhaps, but one thing I know for certain, is your people have been following is your son.”

“My son hasn’t made the effort to speak to me in some time,” she starts “But if you accompany me, he might have reason to believe us.”

“How do you know he won’t cast me aside ?”

“Because an unruly child always surrenders to his mother.” She answers, her smirk tried to convey confidence.

I joined her that noon, as we reached the mining camps. Neither of us were liking the looks that Greeshawn’s miners were giving us. It was almost like they have never seen a woman in a long time. Angelica was the one who spoke for us, as she asked where her son has been living. The pointed us to a small hut on a hill, just above the camp itself. When we reached the hut, Greeshawn was cutting pieces of wood to make a firewood pile, hacking it with an ax, and whenever the ax would get stuck, he would use only his hands to pull the wood apart. He glanced at us when he saw us approach and smiled. “Well, well, aren’t you two a sight for sore eyes.” He greeted, taking another swing “I take it you’re here to receive an out of church sermon, but as you can see, my hands are full.”

“We didn’t come here to,” I start before Angelica interrupts.

“Greeshawn, why haven’t you visited us ? It has been two years, and I hardly see you outside of church. Your father needed to see you.” Angelica asks her son.

“Father visited days ago. He’s a little busy, preaching to those beneath the earth.” We didn’t understand what he’s talking about and he must have sensed this and added “He’s down in the mines. He can’t speak to you at the moment, but I think his visit is just what he needed. I think he’s found his place in the world yet again.”

“That’s what we wanted to talk to you about.” Angelica starts, before she turns to me “Tell him what you told me.”

Nodding, I approach Greeshawn. “I try to warn you, I try to warn your people, but you always silence me.” I start “But you will hear me right now, this thing you call God isn’t what you say he is.” Greeshawn drops his ax, rolls his eyes as he glares at me. “You built you temple in worship of the Great Devourer. You are only leading your people to destruction.”

“Clearly your ideas are skewed. Do I have to remind you which one of us is the son of the Minister ?” Greeshawn states, picking the ax up and looking at the blade “He gave us prosperity. I think I have a better understanding of his will than anyone else here.”

“Than why is it you let me teach your children ?” I start, and he gives me a curious look, “I try not to speak of the Devourer for fear of his attention, but we live on his land. It is his very seed that birthed the giants, and his whispers that create the tainted ones.”

“Tainted. Do you know one of the beliefs of our church is that all are tainted, and all are offered salvation of this tainted race. All it takes is unconditional servitude and obedience to a savior and leader.” Greeshawn was using the blade of his ax to gesture to himself.

I shake my head at the absurdity of his statement “These creatures don’t care for your believes. They aren’t looking for a savior in a leader, they are looking for the strongest and wisest among them, but most of all the strongest.”

“Exactly,” he nods “Tell me, are you familiar with the term “Arcadia” ?” Neither Angelica or I answer, so he does so for us. “It is a Greek term; it is actually the name of a region in Greece. The pagans believe it to be the home of their false god Pan, but the idea of Arcadia is true; harmony with nature, between man and animal living in a perfect balance. That is my dream for this new world, but it will take some time and work, but it is surely upon us.”

“It is exactly because of your god, we can never have this Arcadia.” I say and he walks towards me, but my focus was on his ax blade and he patted his hand the blunt end of his blade.

“You know, I have been watching you for some time Mahalia, up close and afar. The people here come to you when they don’t come to me, For someone who is wise, you sure lack vision. You and I both know what it means to lead; strength and wisdom. In conflict, Arcadia is a lost ideal, but together our knowledge can find it.” I did not like the look on his face as he said it “We can make a sanctuary, a covenant together, and you will be able to share your knowledge, and I, my word and vision.”

It didn’t take me a minute to realize what he was suggesting “You want to make me yours.”

“My father always taught me the church was a marriage in on itself, so what better way to build a church than with a,” before he finishes his mother interrupts him.

“Greeshawn Chase that is enough!” she sounded impatient, before taking a moment to compose herself “I heard those whispers too my son, before you were born. Have I told you about your aunt Edith ?”

“I know she was weak, that she couldn’t survive the journey here. I’ve also heard how you did something unsavory to her flesh upon her death. But you shouldn’t dwell on these things, you’ve been absolved.”

“Do you know why she had me do it ?” She starts, by the sound of her voice, she has been holding this in for some time “So that you could live! She gave what little chance of life she had so that you could have a greater one! But most of all we heard that voice”

“Exactly,” Greeshawn nods “Don’t fret mother, my dear aunt served her purpose. The weak must be sacrificed for the survival of the strong. That is a law of the world, as true and constant as all that lives must die.” He points his ax towards me and his mother as he continues “You think me a fool ? You think I haven’t been reading and listening to every word of the book ? For seven years of my life I have listened prayerfully and carefully, and all I heard from them was yesterdays message. I was always taught that this new world was were God’s kingdom was gonna be built, but that kingdom would be built upon by scavengers stealing from the rich and righteous. When I heard the new voice, I knew how to build a worthy kingdom.”

“What did your father-?” Angelica starts before Greeshawn swings the ax down into the ground beneath him.

“If father was unconvinced, do you think he would not be here ?”

“I want to see him.” Angelica says sternly.

“Can’t happen without my approval, and your rejection of the truth shows me you are not ready to share it with father. That said, he had the camp cook make you a gift.” He says before turning to and walking into his hut.

“Your people never see this side of him in their church.” I whisper to Angelica “But his behavior, is very familiar to me.”

“This isn’t the first you seen him like this ? You’ve seen it too ?” Angelica’s question caught me by surprise. And so I confess.

“He’d sometimes visit me the night before church. He never attempted to hurt me, but he asked me for my wisdom. There was a time were I trusted him, but looking back all I could remember was his eyes. There was a hunger in them. He’d watch me like he was a predator and I was prey. Clearly, he hasn’t learned much from my lessons.”

“Has he hurt you ? Has he ever,” she starts before I shake my head.

“He never put his hands on me.” I answer “But he always gave me this look. I never felt safe around him.” His behavior towards made me question what his people saw in him on the pulpit.

My thoughts are interrupted when he walks out of his hut with a pie “Father had this made for you. A bit unorthodox I know, but he didn’t want you to worry. Accept this gift, it took some time to prepare, and it may be made by our cook’s hands, but father put all his heart into it.” Angelica opens her mouth to speak, but Greeshawn place his fingers on her lips “If I failed to move you with my words, you’d fail to move me with yours. So just go home, and enjoy your gift. In time, your eyes will be open to the truth.“

Greeshawn turns his mother around and gives her a small shove. I stood a moment waiting for her to do or say something, but she simply sighed and walked off with a sad look on her face. I didn’t know what else I could do or say myself, so I started to follow after her, when I hear Greeshawn speak up. “And Mahalia ?” I turn to face him, and see that hungry look in his eyes again “My offer still stands.“

And so I say to him “And what do you hope to get from me in this covenant ? I can’t think of anything to offer in return.” As he opens his mouth to answer I interrupt him “At least nothing I plan or intend to give to you in particular. If you seek compensation, perhaps you can find it tonight in your own hands.“

He didn’t say anything, or do anything. He just smiled, which didn’t change, but his eyes did. They turned from hungry to hateful. After a moment, he shrugged and replied “Very well, you made your choice as I made mine.” And with that, he turned around and walked back to tend to the woodpile, as I walked away from him and his camp, never paying his followers any heed.

I have always known how to read people, not by how you look at them, but by how they look at you. When you look into their eyes, deep down you can see their hearts. And when you look deeper, you can see their true self hidden behind their emotions. When I see something like that in Greeshawn Chase, I see a pit of darkness. It is quite like the hell I hear these people talk about. And the more I thought of Greeshawn in that way, the more I thought of someone else.

The only other person whose eyes I could see this deep into was Jaralath. When I look at him, I see the child he once was, the one he talked about in his tales about his past, buried behind years of isolation, and having to fight for survive, for no one to listen to him when he warned about the evil within our woods, and when they finally witness them, instead of turning to him for knowledge, they turn to either me or Greeshawn, and because the gugwe scarred him. This child was forced to grow before his time, and live among the beasts away from his people, much like me. Maybe that’s why we became such good friends, and for some time, I thought there was something more.

It wasn’t just seeing that boy still living within him, it was hearing him as he told me his tales. His enthusiasm and memory filled him with a joy he rarely shown to his people. In fact, he’s recently become more happy when he brought these books to the village, and he too shared my belief that wisdom and memory was the greatest gift one could give or receive. He even became more social with his community, and now it was like they never noticed his scars. They could see what I always saw.

And yet they couldn’t see it in Greeshawn. What would it take for them to see ? After hearing Greeshawn’s proposal, I spent the rest of the day thinking of what the price would be. I knew what he really wanted, and what wasn’t his he could not take. So once again, I thought more and more of Jaralath, before I came to a decision.

The next day I went out looking for Jaralath, and eventually found him at the Muller home. He was invited in for breakfast almost everyday, having become close with Erik during a recent hunting trip, and since that trip Jaralath was always eager to share something from those books they found. Anya spotted me outside and invited me in. Something was telling me that Edith where found Jaralath trying to entertain Erik, Anya and Edith at a table with one such tale. Edith paid me no attention.

“So the trap worked, and Grendel was once again roused by the festivities, only with this attack, Beowulf made sure he went home with one arm.” Jaralath tells little Edith with a dramatic tone in his voice.

“How he do that ?” Edith tried to say. She was just now beginning to talk.

“Beowulf took Grendel’s arm and he,” Jaralath playfully grabs and pretends to pull, before he noticed the look Anya was giving him. “So Grendel eating people is okay, but Beowulf pulling an arm off is crossing a line ?”

“You can loose an arm ?” Edith asks, grabbing her own arm defensively.

“He means, if you’re stupid it could happen.” Anya answers.

“Aye, and you’re clearly smarter than me little one.” Jaralath pats Edith on the head “You keep being smart and you won’t end up with a beauty mark like me.” He gestures to the scars marking the side of his face.

“If Grendel eats people, why didn’t he just spit them out ?” Edith asks innocently “I eat something I don’t like, I spit the out like this.” She tries to reach her hands into her mouth, and Anya had to pull them out “And if it’s people, I spit them out and say sorry.”

“Well think of it like this you know how you eat a piece of meat and,” Erik starts to answer before Anya glares at him “Dammit Caulfield, you’re a bad influence on me too!” Anya softly smacks Erik on the back of his head.

“I’ll do what’s left of your innocence a favor Edith, and tell you the moral of the story; Beowulf is a person you should aim to be. Don’t be stupid and go around eating people like Grendel, be strong like Beowulf. Or your mother.” Jaralath adds.

“You’re strong mama ?” Edith asks with astonishment.

“I may not be as strong as the man in the story but,” Anya starts. Jaralath interrupts her.

“Respectfully, bollocks. I saw you pull a pregnant cow out of a field in a snow storm. And speaking of strong mothers, tomorrow I’m gonna be telling you about Grendel’s mother.” He turns his attention to me “Sorry you missed half the story, the little one wasn’t satisfied with Der Ritter apparently.”

“Beowulf fights more monsters.” Edith nods at me.

“Really, and you think my stories will get boring ?” I ask her teasingly.

“It’s the same stories.” She shrugs, and I pretend to be offended.

“Well, it seems I am gonna have to go out and look for more. I’ll let you know what I can find.” I playfully pull on Edith’s cheek.

“I best be going too,” Jaralath excuses himself from the table “Arf is gonna be chewing my ear off if I don’t feed him this morning. I’ll send him your love Anya, the turkeys you discard kept him full for a week.”

“If he’s a good mutt I’ll let him have a sheep.” Anya says jokingly.

I get up from my seat and excuse myself “I must take my leave too, not gonna find more interesting stories sitting at a table am I ?”

As I follow Jaralath outside I ask “Surely Arf can find his own food ?”

“He can, just needed a reason to leave the homestead for a moment. Angelica talked to me last night, wanted me to check in on you. Is there a problem ?” Jaralath asks me back.

“I found something that might be of interest to you. You told me how stories and knowledge are the greatest treasure you could offer and share. I found something else that I can offer you, but only you. You have to follow me.” I take Jaralath by the hand, and lead him out of the village, and down towards the lake shore.

Along the lake, there is a river that the fishermen and colonists don’t normally travel, but if you were to follow the river, and endure the journey alone, you could find a spot that I made my own. It’s were I went when I wanted to be alone, with nothing but nature surrounding me. It must have taken to noon to get there, but we spent the time talking. He even told me the full version of the story he was telling the Mueller’s. But he grew tired of telling stories and asked me what was one my mind “So Angelica told me you two paid an unsavory visit to Greeshawn Chase, are you okay ?”

“I’m fine, but my concerns are with his mother. He hears what happened to his aunt, what his mother went through, and he shows her no sympathy. What kind of son does that ?”

“I’m not sure if you’ve been paying attention to the lad the last two years, but he isn’t exactly the most empathetic type. Do you remember that sermon he tried to give about the men we lost on the expedition ? It was like he was talking about wasted food.” Jaralath shakes his head “Maybe that’s just me talking, I mean, it’s hard to like man who introduces himself to you by beating the snot out of you ? And it’s not like I can’t tolerate someone being a condescending twat, but if they’re are a condescending twat with who treats his mother like shit, well frankly I’d be feeding him his own teeth.”

He must have realized the look I’ve been giving him before he stuttered and apologized “Sorry. Like I said, I may be speaking out of hate for the lad, but it’s his mother I have my sympathies for.”

Deciding to change the subject I bring up something else “Are you familiar with “Arcadia” ?”

“I think so, my parents told me about a kingdom in Greece. If I recall correctly, I told you about it around the time we first met.”

“What I heard of it was it was the home of this god,” I start.

“Pan.” He answers.

“Pan, and it was how all creation could live in a perfect harmony. Nature and mankind living as one. Do you believe such a place could exist ?”

“I believe in many things, but this Arcadia ? Is but a beautiful dream. The Arcadia my mother and father spoke of was the kingdom ruled by King Lycaon. I think I told you about him. May not be beautiful, but sure feels more real to me.” He answers again “Although maybe I considered myself more of a cynic than a romantic.”

“And yet we both lived that life. You with the wolf, and I with the forest people. Human and animal living together as one.” I answer back to him.

It had to have been hours before we reached my hiding spot, a small clearing, with a deep pool of water. Not as big as the lake the river was also part of, but just big enough to make due. Because it was untouched by humans, hunters or fishermen, this land was pure.

“You see that pool ?” I point and he nods to me “In the very depths in the pool I discovered a treasure. Perhaps the most important treasure one can give another, and I offer it too you.”

Jaralath looked to me confused “Don’t we need equipment ? Some extra people ? If you’re taking me on a treasure hunt-“

I interrupt him again “All we need is you and I, Greeshawn asked for this treasure yesterday, but I refused because I can only give it to one person. I can give it to who ever I choose and I choose you, so that no one else can take it.”

Jaralath’s look of confusion hasn’t left his face and he took a moment before he could find the words “I’m taking it you’re idea of treasure isn’t stories, isn’t it ?”

I smile at him “Not exactly, but the reason why I picked you is because you and I are one. We both lived off the land, in these very woods, untouched by man for years. Living among the beasts, before we lived among man. When you were taken to the Colony, you were taken out of your element. In the two years since you’ve known me, you were one who didn’t try to place me with a specific tribe, try to put a specific belief onto me. You saw me for me, and didn’t try to change me to something else. I think it’s because you see yourself in me, in much the way I see myself in you. And that is why I give you this gift. All it takes is a dive into this water. Will you join me ?” As I said this, I began removing my dress and he started to panic and look away. I take his face into my hands, and he tries to keep his eyes on mine “If you do not want this, you can walk away.”

He didn’t make a move to walk away, instead it took a moment to think before he places his mouth on mine. His kiss was quick and awkward but I pay it no heed as I try to pull of his shirt. He brushes my hands aside and hastily removes his clothes, before I take my hand into his and lead him into the water. We spent hours swimming, and when we didn’t, we’d try to dry off in the light of the sun. And yes, I did give myself to Jaralath as he gave himself to me. At first it hurt, but it lasted momentarily. The first time around Jaralath lasted moments as well, and as much as he’d deny it, in those moments when we’d warm up in the sun, he did have tears in his eyes. Regardless of how quick it was, Jaralath and I crossed a line together and I’d give up nothing in the world to uncross it.

“This is what I denied Greeshawn.” I say to him “This is what I give to you. You made me yours, and I’ll make you mine. No one can else can take you from me, and no one can take me from you.” I say as I climb back on top of him “It may not be a wedding as the minister puts it, but I want the eyes of this forest to know that you are my husband, I am your wife.”

“I am your husband.” He nods understanding “I’ll have no one else but you.” I smile back down at him, lean down and sink my teeth down into his shoulder causing him to shriek a bit “What was that ?” he yelps at me.

“Sorry,” I blush “Sometimes when the forest people find a life mate, that’s how they leave their mark.” As I explain this and point to my mark him. I offer him my shoulder, and taking my offer, he sinks his teeth into my shoulder, much harder than my bite. His teeth even drew blood from me.

“Sorry, I never done this before.” He apologizes.

“This is all new to me too.” I assure him. As he stares at the bite mark, he puts his mouth on it and tried to stop the bleeding. Licking one’s wound as an animal would. It may have been strange, but I didn’t question it. Neither of us questioned anything at the moment. For hours, we went back into the water, dried off in the sun and gave to each other more and more. When the sun began to set, and we figured we couldn’t use the sun to dry off and all we’d get at this point was a cold. We redressed ourselves and headed back to the colony.

And so this is my confession. Regardless of what Greeshawn has been accusing me of, I am not what caused this madness, my only sin was giving myself to another when Greeshawn wanted me. But I have no real way or power to defend myself. I have hidden this letter in a place where only few I know I can trust. Hopefully one of my witnesses can find it, and hopefully the truth will come out. Hopefully Jaralth will be the one to find this, and he seek me out.

But now I had to leave, it’s no longer safe for me with what I am being accused of, with the tainted living among us, and the Devourer has began his hunt.