Chapter 23

“This is the only way I know how to touch her,
through ink,
through madness,
through the art that devours both maker and muse.“

Nathan’s POV

Fear.

I’ve watched it all my life in the whites of people’s eyes, in the tremor that ruins their last breath, in the way their body folds under the weight of knowing it’s over.

It used to fascinate me.

The way it smelled, almost metallic, like blood before it hits the air. The way it sounded, so quiet and desperate.

I used to think fear was beautiful because it didn’t belong to me. It tasted sweet, addictive even. It fed the sadism in me that was born out of survival.

But now…now it breathes beside me. Fuck, not just that, it’s inside me, burning, clawing, whispering her name over and over again, and only now do I understand why people break under it.

Aylin was curled against me. She’d been like this for the past half hour, since I’d scooped her up when she flailed and sat down on my bed, then told her about the hours she missed.

Her cheek was buried against my chest as if I were something…safe.

Safe, ha, really? That’s the part that fucks with me.

Because I’m not, I never was. I never will be. I don’t do safe. If I were safe…I wouldn’t be planning to ruin her imperfect little family till they spilled out everything I needed to know. If I were safe, it wouldn’t take every ounce of control in me to stay still and not go kill her grandfather for the bruise he left on her face.

Still, despite it all, she was in my embrace, so small and trusting.

My hand cupped the side of her neck, my thumb brushing softly over the skin, feeling her pulse, that sweet, warm thing that gave me a clue whether she was here or not. If it falters, so do I, apparently.

Fuck it, I used to think I was made immune to things like this…This fear, this sickening type of care, or whatever name these fucked up emotions in me hide under.

Turns out I’m cursed with it too, because every inhale and exhale of mine feels like the edge of a confession I can’t make to her. What could I say when I don’t even understand half the fucked things banging in my skull or pressing under my ribs?

My gaze drifted over her face, desperate to break the silence. I don’t do well with silence; it starts whispering things I don’t want to hear. “Hey,” I muttered.

Her eyes flicked up to me, those watery green things that could undo me without trying. I moved my hand from her neck to brush her temple. “How about I make us something warm to drink?” I suggested, needing to shake her back to herself. “A cup of tea, maybe. The proper way,” I added, trying to sound playful, “not that blasphemous swamp water you served me the other day.”

Her brow twitched, the faintest ghost of a glare in her eyes.

I smiled, I couldn’t fucking help it. “There it is,” I murmured. “That’s my bratty princess.”

Her lips twitched, a whisper of life back in her face. She slowly untangled herself from me, her voice hoarse as she whispered, “Okay.”

She leaned back against the headboard, and I bent down, pressing a light kiss to her lips, as careful as ever because of the split there. When I pulled back, my thumb brushed over the cut, tracing it like I could will it to heal. If it didn’t, well…an old man might accidentally lose his hand soon.

“I’ll be back,” I said, getting to my feet.

I left the room and padded down the stairs. In the kitchen, I flicked the kettle on, its soft hum filling the air. My eyes drifted to the stairs, half-expecting her to follow, half-hoping she wouldn’t.

Before I could think twice, I pulled out my phone. My thumb hovered over the screen for a second, then I hit call.

We weren’t exactly on let’s have a chat terms, so when her voice came through, it felt wrong.

“Hello?” Natalie answered.

“Hey, Natalie, it’s me,” I said.

“Nathan?” she said, surprised. “Uh…hey.”

My eyes stayed fixed on the staircase, every creak in the wood making me tense. The last thing I wanted was for Aylin to hear any of this. “Are you alone?” I asked.

“Uhm, hold on.” A few shuffling sounds, then the soft click of a door. “Alright. What’s wrong?”

My hand went to the back of my neck, gripping hard enough to hurt, like pain might keep me grounded for once. “It’s getting worse,” I muttered. My voice didn’t sound like mine. It sounded…defeated.

Fuck it. I didn’t care. I just needed an answer. I’d told her that I wouldn’t let anything bad befall her, and despite every dark thing in me, I meant that. I need to know what’s ailing her, and I need to find a way to fix it.

“What happened?” Natalie’s voice softened, carrying that strange mix of worry and clinical curiosity.

“It was different this time,” I said, threading my fingers through my hair, tugging at the roots till it hurt. My gaze stayed locked on the stairs. “She fell asleep…and when she woke up, she didn’t remember a damn thing. The past few hours…just gone, like they never existed.”

There was a short pause on her side, “You said she fell asleep before it happened?”

“Yeah.”

She exhaled quietly. “Well, sometimes the mind uses that transition between consciousness and sleep as a trigger point. It’s the safest way for it to, you know…switch off.” Her voice dipped lower. “But if it’s happening this frequently, I have a feeling it’s only going to escalate.”

My eyelids fell shut. The room tilted around me for a second, and the sound of the kettle boiling behind me was getting too fucking loud.

My other hand pressed against the counter, my knuckles turning white.

“You need to let her get a check-up soon,” she added.

“I know,” I said, my voice rough. My hand went back to my hair again. “I just—” I stopped, forcing out a low breath. “I feel like if I bring it up, she’ll spiral.”

“That’s possible,” Natalie said softly. “You know, acceptance is the hardest part in all of this, but her health is at stake here.”

She paused, as if thinking it through. “Look, I have an old friend who majored in neurology. Let me consult with him, describe her symptoms, her case, and see what he thinks.”

I nodded before I could stop myself, clinging to the first thread of logic.

“And till then,” she continued, “try to talk to her about it. Gently, Nathan.” Even she knew I wasn’t built for gentle. “If I can get his input, we’ll arrange an appointment with him soon, alright?”

“Okay, yeah,” I said, sucking in a deep breath to keep my lungs from collapsing.

“Okay,” She said back.

Then, there was that long, silent pause. What the fuck am I supposed to say now?

“So…we’ll talk then, I guess,” I muttered, not sure how to carry this conversation forward, which was so not like me, because usually, I wouldn’t know how to shut up.

“Yeah, I’ll tell you what happens…” Behind her voice, I heard a faint little voice that made me smile beyond my control. It sounded like, “Mommy, are you here?”

“Is that Maria?” I asked.

Natalie sighed, the sound of a door opening behind her. “Yeah. Apparently, I can’t get a moment alone in this house.” She added, and I heard the little girl giggle.

“Uh, do you want to talk to her?” She asked.

“Yeah, give her the phone,” I said, and heard her little voice say, “Who is that?”

Then she gasped, “Uncle Nathan?” She said in utter delight, her voice now coming clearer.

“Yes, it’s me, little one. Missed me already?” I said.

“Yes, so much!” She said, “Where are you?” I could literally imagine her little pout. “You said you would always tell me a story before bed, but you didn’t come again,” she said, literally scolding me. “I waited for you.”

My smile widened, the war in me subduing slightly. “Yeah, I know. I’ve been busy,” I said, refraining from telling her that her father kicked me out.

“Hmm, but you will come see me, right?” She lowered her voice, “We need to go to the hospital, remember?”

I chuckled, “Yeah, how could I forget?” I said.

“Mommy, stop telling me what to say, I know how to speak!” Maria said, apparently talking to her mother, and I chuckled again, totally in love with her little attitude.

She huffed again, then brought the phone closer. “So, you’ll come to my party, right?”

“What party?”

She gasped, as if offended that I didn’t know. “My birthday’s tomorrow!” She said, “Bring me a big gift too, okay?”

I smiled wider. “Yeah, sure. The biggest ever.”

She giggled, “Cool,” She mumbled, then there was muffled talking in the background before she whined, “Okay, mommy stop,” She mumbled, then told me, “I should go sleep.” She huffed, like sleep was some tragic fate. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?” She said, as if to make sure.

“Yeah, deal,” I said, switching off the kettle and reaching for two cups. “Sweet dreams, little one.”

“Love you, uncle Nathan, don’t forget my gift, bye!” she said in a rush before hanging up.

The line went dead, and I just stood there, staring at the phone for a moment too long. Then I set it down on the counter. The noises in my head went quiet, for the very first time tonight.

I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, then finished preparing the tea.

By the time I made it back upstairs, the calm in me had started to crack again.

I paused at the doorway, my gaze finding her.

Aylin was exactly where I’d left her, sitting still on the bed, her eyes fixed on my notebook on the bedside table. She was studying it like it held something dangerous, something she shouldn’t want but couldn’t resist. She bit her lower lip, anxious as her hand moved closer to it, her fingers hovered, brushed the cover once, almost ready to open it, right as I stepped in.

She jumped slightly, startled, her eyes darting up to mine. Guilt flashed across her face. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, her cheeks blooming pink as I handed her one of the cups. She took it with both hands, looking at the steam as she mumbled, “I didn’t mean to.”

I shook my head, “It’s okay,” I set my own cup down, reached over, opened the drawer, and slid the notebook into it without looking.

When I glanced back, she was still avoiding my gaze, her fingers tracing the rim of her cup like it might give her courage. She swallowed, then looked up at me. “I still have the…uhm, the poem you wrote me. On the plane,” she said, her lips twitching at the memory.

My eyebrow raised, “So, you did find it?” I said. I wasn’t sure she would.

She nodded, “Yeah, it was in the pocket of your seat,” She mumbled, brought the cup to her lips and took a small sip, “Back then, I thought I might never see you again,” She said, “But I kept it for some reason, it’s just…” She shrugged, “It was the first time someone wrote something just for me.”

If only she knew.

Every word in that notebook is about her. Every page, stained with the shape of her name. I tried to write other things once, but somehow, she always bled through the ink.

The moment I started writing her, I knew I was done for. I couldn’t stop.

She’s the poem I can’t finish, the line that keeps rewriting itself in my head. Every breath she takes adds another verse, and my ruined mind keeps scribbling her into everything I touch.

She is, after all, my beautiful muse, my living metaphor, and my one unfinished masterpiece.

She tilted her head, those green eyes full of quiet curiosity. I’d take that, anything but the lost, pained look she wore an hour ago.

“Do you write often?” she asked.

I nodded. “It helps.”

“With what?”

“There are too many words in here.” I tapped a finger against my temple. “It gets loud sometimes, too loud.” I explained, “Writing shuts it up for a bit.”

Her brows pulled together, a faint frown of understanding. Her thumb brushed along the cup before her gaze flicked to the table where my notebook had been. “Would you ever let me read it?”

I shook my head. “Not all of it.”

Her frown deepened. “Why not?”

“It’s a way into my head,” I said, arching a brow. “And trust me, princess, you don’t want to get that deep into my head.” I wouldn’t let her, anyway.

“Why not?” she pressed, making me want to shut her up with one of my more creative methods.

“Because it’s messy.”

She shrugged. “So?”

I studied her for a long moment, the corner of my mouth twitching. “Believe me, if you could read everything that goes on in here, you wouldn’t be sitting in my bed right now.”

True enough. She’d danced with the edges of my darkness, flirted with it, maybe even liked the thrill of it, but that was only the surface.

If she goes any deeper, she’d go running for the hills, and I can’t have her do that yet.

She narrowed her eyes at me, defiant as ever. “You can let me be the judge of that.”

I shook my head, “I am not risking it.”

She huffed a low, annoyed breath and brought the cup to her lips, sipping on the warm tea to busy herself. After a moment, she muttered under her breath, ever so begrudgingly, “Your tea does taste better.”

I smiled. “Told you,” I said, taking a sip from my own cup, leaning back beside her, “Nothing like that thing you tried to poison me with, huh?”

She flipped the tag on the tea bag, squinting at the label. “You’re making me like tea,” she admitted with a sigh, and I realized she was talking just to fill the air, to keep from thinking about the memories she lost, so I let her.

“I was always more of a coffee person,” she added.

I slipped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her gently against me. “Such an American thing to say,” I said.

She rolled her eyes. “Okay, you posh British boy,” she mocked, “we get it. You’re more sophisticated than the rest of us peasants.”

I nodded solemnly. “That’s not arrogance, that’s a fact.”

She narrowed her eyes at me, her lips twitching into that half-smile I’d kill to keep. I leaned closer and brushed a kiss against them. She was impossible to resist. It was ridiculous how easily she made gravity feel optional.

“Do you ever think about going back?” she asked softly. “To live there again?”

I shrugged. “It crosses my mind sometimes.”

Something flickered in her expression, that quiet sadness I hated seeing on her face. So I added quickly, “Not anytime soon, of course.”

She smiled, a little too quickly. “Cool.”

I wasn’t sure if I imagined it. I’ve never been good at reading these types of emotions, but could it be that my princess was getting a little attached to me, too?

Her gaze drifted down, and she started fiddling with the hem of my T-shirt hanging loose on her. “Did you change my clothes?” she asked, squinting her eyes at me in accusation.

I nodded, “You were passed out when I carried you in,” I said. “You didn’t look comfortable in what you were wearing.” A grin tugged at my mouth as I gazed down at her, the oversized shirt drowning her sweet body. God, she looked edible.

“Besides, I’ll take any excuse to dress you up in my clothes.”

She lifted her eyes to glare at me, all indignant innocence, “Still—you…you took off my clothes?“

“Yeah, so?” I shrugged, perfectly unbothered. “Did you forget how many times I’ve seen this perfect body of yours naked?” I tilted my head, smirking. “I could sketch it from memory. Probably even while blindfolded.”

Her neck flushed a deep shade of pink. “Still,” she mumbled, glaring at me, “you shouldn’t do that. I was sleeping.”

“Well, I only changed your clothes,” I said lightly. Then I grinned, unable to resist. “Didn’t do anything else—unless you wanted me to? Because I’m fairly certain I’d be up for that.”

Her eyes widened. “Nathan!” She said with that beautiful whiny voice I’d kill for.

I chuckled, leaning in till my lips brushed the side of her neck. “God, I love that sound,” I murmured against her skin, my words ghosting over her pulse. “Say my name like that again, maybe I’ll behave.”

She scoffed softly, melting into me despite herself. “As if you even know how to behave.”

“Nah,” I said, pulling back just enough to meet her eyes. “I think you prefer me like this, anyway.” My grin widened. “So…sexsomnia, huh? Didn’t know you were that kinky, princess. Tell me, who corrupted you? Was it me?”

Her face went crimson. “Nathan, stop!” again with that beautiful whiny voice that could make a saint sin.

I laughed under my breath, and before she could say another word, I plucked the cup from her hands, set it on the nightstand, and caught her by the waist.

“Come here,” I murmured, tugging her forward.

She let out a soft gasp as I quickly pulled her into my lap, till she was straddling me.

“God, you’re insane,” she mumbled under her breath at how quickly I pulled her. She settled against me, her knees bracketing my hips, her warmth spilling straight through my skin. She shifted, instinctively, and I almost groaned at the friction she didn’t even realize she was causing.

“Accurate,” I said, resting my hand over her waist, keeping her in one place so she doesn’t drive me mad. “But you keep coming back to me, so maybe you like insane.”

She shook her head at me, with that helpless smile she always tried to hide.

“Now,” I said, ever so serious, “tell me which part of your face hurts so I know where to avoid while I devour you whole.”

Her lips curved higher, so heartbreakingly soft. Then, without a word, she was the one who leaned in.

Her hand moved from my shoulder to my jaw, her fingertips tracing every line before she dipped her head down, and her lips met mine, slow at first, then deeper, until everything else ceased to exist. God, this wicked princess, she was made only for me, wasn’t she?

Her fingers slid into my hair, gripping tight, pulling me closer until breathing was no longer a priority.

I pulled back just enough to speak, my thumb brushing over her bruised skin. “Hey—careful,” I murmured.

Her brow arched, that playful glint back in her eyes. “When were you ever careful?”

I sighed, leaning in until my lips hovered over hers again, my nose brushing hers. “I’m learning,” I whispered. “Tragic, isn’t it?”

She laughed softly. “So tragic,” she murmured, her fingers sliding lazily through my hair.

“Never mind, you don’t need your lips for this,” I said, “mine will be enough for what I have in mind for you.”

Before she could say anything, I slipped an arm around her waist and flipped her over. Her back hit the mattress with a soft thud, a startled little sound escaping her lips.

“You just like toying with my body, don’t you?” she grumbled, glaring up at me as I hovered over her, calling me out for always moving her around as I pleased.

I nodded, dipping my head to taste her sweet pulse. “Yeah, I love it,” I said, my teeth aching to carve themselves into her sweet skin. 

I felt her fingers in my hair again, softer now, tracing little circles as my lips travelled up the curve of her jaw, kissing her softer, more reverent over the bruised skin, trying to replace the bad with good.

“Nathan,” she breathed, so quiet it almost wasn’t a word. I lifted my head and met her eyes. They were almost watery, glassy, full of too many things. “Thank you,” she whispered, though she didn’t sound sure what she was thanking me for.

I brushed her hair back from her face and kept my hand there, my thumb stroking her cheek. “You know I hate that word,” I muttered, though my chest ached with it.

She touched the side of my head, her fingers ghosting over my temple. “I keep feeling like I’m losing my mind,” she said, her eyes following her own touch. “But when you talk to me, that feeling goes away.”

Fuck…again with that. That look in her eyes, the one that makes me want to run and stay all at once, like I’m something safe, like I’m her anchor, her only shelter…I wasn’t that.

I swallowed, trying to shove down the burn crawling up my throat. Her brows furrowed as her fingers moved higher, brushing the cut at my hairline.

“What happened?” she asked, her gaze flicking up to meet mine, completely unaware that she’d asked me that before.

I hadn’t answered then. So I did now.

“Someone attacked me,” I said casually, “so I cracked his skull with my head.”

Her eyes widened, and she pushed up on her elbows, alarm flaring in her expression. “What?”

I raised a brow, half a smirk tugging at my mouth. “You should see the other guy,” I said, pausing just long enough to add, “well…the other three guys, technically.”

She blinked, her voice softer now. “Who attacked you? And why?”

I shook my head, already knowing I wouldn’t give her that piece of truth. She still loved that old man for reasons beyond me, and she’d already been through enough today.

“No one important,” I said lightly, brushing it off. “Just some people who thought they could mess with me.”

Her lips parted, the worry already pooling behind her eyes. “You could’ve been hurt,” she said.

I shook my head, brushing it aside. “I don’t get hurt that easily.”

“Don’t joke about it, Nathan,” she muttered, sitting up a little straighter, her fingers still resting on my temple. “You just said you are learning to be careful.”

I nodded once. “Yeah. With you.”

She frowned, her hand dropping from my face to my chest. “So, you’re careful with me,” she said quietly, her voice tightening. “But not with yourself?”

I let out a low breath before I pressed my lips over hers, putting an end to this unnecessary conversation as I muttered. “Guess I’ve got my priorities straight, then.”

⊹˚₊‧────────────‧₊˚⊹

I was getting used to this, loving it, even…more than I should’ve.

Waking up with her tangled in me was becoming a habit, a necessary one, another addiction I didn’t fucking need. Apparently, I can function on caffeine and violence, but not without her draped across me like this.

Sure, her hair ends up in my mouth, my eyes, occasionally trying to suffocate me in my sleep, but honestly, a small price to pay.

She was curled against me now, fast asleep like a little baby, her head tucked in the crook of my neck, her arm slung lazily across my waist, and breathing so softly against my chest.

I watched her, wondering how the hell she could sleep this peacefully after everything when I hadn’t had more than an hour or two of it. My brain refused to shut up, too busy building theories, connecting dots that didn’t fit, and plotting how I was going to convince her to see a doctor without her trying to claw my face off.

My hand moved of its own accord, smoothing her hair down, and that’s when I felt it again…that thing I still refused to name, that fear, maybe, it was residing deep in me now. I felt it again as I thought of her waking up one day and just forgetting all about me.

Well, fuck it. I’d just remind her of me all over again then. Every day, if I had to.

I was many things, but forgettable wasn’t one of them.

I glanced around for my phone to check the time, but didn’t see it. Right, I left it downstairs last night. I sighed and shifted, carefully trying to untangle myself from her.

Christ, she was such a heavy sleeper. I’d changed her clothes last night, and she hadn’t even flinched. Now, as I slipped free, she just curled into herself, a soft hum escaping her lips as she buried her face into the pillow. I caught myself smiling as I gazed at her, disgusting, I know. But how the hell was she this adorable?

I tucked the blanket under her chin, brushed my thumb over the bruise on her cheek. It looked much better today—thanks to the ice packs I kept pressing to her face while she slept, and the ointment I’d reapplied frequently through the night. Thank fuck for that. But still, the thought of killing her grandfather hadn’t fully vacated the premises.

I headed downstairs to grab my phone, but the second my foot hit the floor, a loud knock echoed through the house. Confused, I walked toward the door, opened it, not sure who to expect at this time, only to find…Nikolas there.

Well, well. I thought the era of him showing up uninvited to ruin my mornings was over.

He flashed me a bored look, his favorite expression apparently, and, without any greetings, he brushed past me and walked straight into my house.

I exhaled slowly, glaring at his back. “Yeah, good morning to you, too,” I said. “I’m fantastic, thanks for asking. How are you? Come right in, please, don’t let basic human decency stop you.” I said to myself, pretending to carry out the conversation he failed to start, considering he has no manners whatsoever.

I shut the door and followed him in, already wondering if homicide before breakfast was frowned upon.

God, it was too early for him. Or anyone besides my princess, really.

I ran a hand down my face to kick myself in as he turned toward me, and before I could stop myself, the words came out. “I know you’re probably ancient,” My eyes squinted at him, “I’m not sure how old you are exactly, but we kids these days call before dropping by unannounced.”

I arched a brow, “I could’ve been indecent, you know.”

He rolled his eyes—his second-favorite expression, I guess—totally not bothered by any of my words. Then he dropped a file onto the table, sliding it closer to me.

“What’s that?” I asked.

He gave a small nod toward it. “Open it.”

Confused and mildly suspicious, I edged closer and flipped it open. A few pages in, and my brows shot up. Well, fuck. It was all information about…Aylin’s mother and grandfather.

My eyes flicked up to him. “Care to explain,” he said evenly, “why you’re so interested in these two people?”

How the hell did he know?

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of looking surprised, though.

I faked composure and looked back down at the papers, my lips twitching. “You know, this is called stalking,” I said, clicking my tongue, “Very unhealthy behavior. Some might even say obsessive.” I lifted a brow, feigning disappointment. “Did your wife never teach you that?”

He ignored my theatrics. He’s getting better at not taking my bait.

“I asked you yesterday, I’ll ask you again, what trouble are you trying to stir?” His voice tightened; the authority in it made my fingers ache to meet his face. “Who are these people, and why are you after them?”

“Like I said yesterday, and let me say it again,” I answered, “This doesn’t concern you.”

“When they start attacking you near my wife and kids,” he said, addressing the little drama in the parking lot yesterday, “then yes, it concerns me.”

Before I could throw another verbal knife at him, a soft, sleepy voice cut through the tension.

“Nathan?”

My head snapped up.

Aylin was halfway into the living room, yawning and rubbing at her eyes like a kid who’d just woken up from a deep dream. Her hair was a glorious disaster, and she was drowning in one of my sweatshirts, the one I slipped on her at night when she got cold, the same one that had no business looking that good on her.

My first instinct? Hide her, somehow shove her back up the stairs, and lock the door.

She paused, blinking her eyes, her sleepy gaze landed on the scene, first me, then Nikolas. She froze the moment she realized I wasn’t alone.

Her eyes widened, then the blush came fast, spilling all the way to her neck. “Oh—uh, I’m sorry,” she stammered, stepping back a little. Her throat bobbed as she looked at me. “I thought you were alone.” Her gaze flicked to Nikolas, and she smiled shyly. “Uh, good morning.”

Nikolas gave her a nod before his eyes fell back on me, his eyebrow raised, knowingly, and for the first time since he entered my house, his expression shifted into something else entirely. I shot him a glare and snapped the file shut before Aylin’s eyes could land on it, and moved.

Leaving him standing there, I crossed the room and caught her gently by the arm, steering her toward the kitchen and away from him.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled guiltily, anxiously biting her lower lip like she’d done something wrong.

I shook my head, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face. “No, it’s fine,” I said quietly. “Just wait for me upstairs, yeah? I’ll be up soon.”

She nodded, her eyes flicking toward Nikolas again, curiosity flickering through her soft expression. “Isn’t that…” She hesitated. “Lilly’s uncle?”

I nodded my head.

“Oh,” she murmured. “I remember him. Wasn’t his son hurt that time? Did he get better?”

My eyebrows pulled together, taken aback by her knowledge of that specific fact. “How do you know that?”

“I was there when it happened,” she said, then gave me a guilty little look. “I was with uhm…you know who.”

My jaw ticked, not sure which part of her words to get furious at. She was there?  Well, good thing I hadn’t burned the place down like I originally planned. My anarchy would’ve cost me my princess.

Aylin, blissfully unaware of the murder forming behind my eyes, glanced back toward Nikolas, who was scrolling through his phone as he waited for me. “God,” she said suddenly, “I always envied Lilly’s family for their genes.”

My frown deepened, “What?”

She nodded toward Nikolas, her eyes bright with admiration. “Look at him. My God.“

I blinked, “Huh?”

What the actual hell.

She shot me a knowing look and explained, as if this topic was so fucking casual. “He is really handsome, so is Lilly’s father, and that other uncle of hers, god, they really won the gene lottery, didn’t they?”

What the actual fuck?

She kept staring, her head tipped, like a fangirl ogling a movie star. My hand twitched, and I snapped my fingers in front of her face to stop her from looking at him. “Hey!” I snapped.

She blinked at me, annoyed. “What?”

“He could be your father’s age!” I warned, my voice flat and very, very dangerous under the surface. The urge to rearrange Nikolas’s features with extreme prejudice flared up and refused to die down.

She rolled her eyes like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I’m not saying I’ll date him, Nathan,” She huffed, “I’m just stating the obvious.”

I shot her a hard glare, my jaw ticking, the pulse in my temple threatening to explode. “Yeah, well, sorry to break it to you, but he’s happily married and has two kids—well, three, even,” I grumbled.

Her lips tilted up slightly, and she snuck another look at him. “Well, he does look like a daddy.”

Fuck, I think I am losing feeling in my right arm…isn’t that how a stroke starts?

Aylin read my horrified expression, and her eyes widened. “Oh my god, he is the one married to your sister, isn’t he?” She asked, covering her mouth in shock.

I nodded, my jaw ticking, my fingers twitching to murder a specific someone. She swallowed hard, muttering a quiet curse under her breath. “I’m so sorry,” she said, giving me a cute, guilty look that absolutely didn’t work this time.

I shot her a glare, “Go to my room and stay there,” I grumbled, leaving no room for argument.

She flashed me one last apologetic glance, tiptoed, and quickly pecked my lips before scurrying off like a scardy cat.

I returned back to Nikolas’s side, who, to my growing irritation, looked more amused than he had any right to. His expression had shifted, smug in that quiet way that made my hand twitch again.

“Well,” he said, eyes dropping to the file, “apparently, I missed a generation.” He tapped his fingers over the file. “So they’re her mother and grandfather, huh?”

My eyes flicked to the phone in his hand. “You sure work fast,” I muttered.

He nodded, the corner of his mouth twitching. “It all does make more sense now.”

My jaw clenched so hard I was surprised my teeth didn’t crack. I didn’t bother hiding the irritation anymore. What’s the point? Subtlety’s overrated.

I stared at Nikolas for a very long minute, my eyes flicked all over his features, analyzing his face some more.

His brow lifted. “What?”

My own knitted together as I leaned in a little closer, then shook my head. “You are not…that handsome,” I stated.

He blinked, thrown completely off balance. “What?”

“Yeah,” I went on, edging closer to him. “How old are you?” I asked, squinting my eyes at him; his hair had a whiff of grey on the sides, but not enough to reflect his real age. “You’re pretty old, aren’t you?”

He flashed me a baffled look and took a step back. “You’re acting weird. What do you want?” He grumbled.

I gave him a once-over and rolled my eyes, unimpressed. “I don’t know what Natalie sees in you.”

His brow shot up. “Here comes Ronald number two,” he muttered in annoyance.

“Wait—Ronald told you that, too?” My lips twitched. “Wow. Guess we’ve just confirmed who my favorite sibling is.”

Nikolas rolled his eyes so hard, then exhaled a long, suffering breath. He looked at the file and said, “I’m gonna leave this here. You might find something useful in it.” He said, being helpful for some unknown reason.

He turned to leave but paused halfway to the door. “Also, Natalie’s throwing this birthday party thing for Maria this evening,” he said, already regretting his words. “She wants you to come.” He added, “Maria wants you to come too, for some unknown reason.”

“What about you?” I asked.

“What about me?” He said back.

“Do you want me to come?” I asked. “Last I checked, you said as long as I cared for Isaac, I didn’t have a place in your house, ring a bell?”

His jaw ticked. “That’s not what I said.”

“Well, I’d just like to inform you,” I said, shrugging, “nothing’s changed on my side.”

He glared, exasperated. “Just come to the damn party, and don’t be so difficult. God…” He grumbled, ever so annoyed, “I swear he sent you just to punish me.” He muttered under his breath, and I smiled.

He reached the door, opened it, clearly dying to escape me fast, then paused and looked back at me. “By the way,” he said, tone a little less homicidal now, and he even dared to give me a somewhat teasing look, “you can bring a plus one.”

⊹˚₊‧────────────‧₊˚⊹

In the evening…

“So wait,” Aylin said, her brows furrowing as we drove, “their son is named Nathan too?” She looked genuinely lost, which was fair; even I needed a diagram to keep track of this family tree from hell. “Like…you?”

I nodded for what felt like the hundredth time. “Yeah.”

“But why?”

I shrugged, “Because they liked me too much, apparently. I don’t know.” I grumbled.

She gave me a look. “You mean they named their kid after you?”

“I don’t know, princess,” I muttered, not liking this whole damned conversation. “Ask them when you meet them.”

Her confusion only deepened. “And the birthday girl’s name is Maria, right?”

“Yep.”

She repeated it under her breath like she was cramming for an exam. Her excitement was ridiculous. For reasons beyond me, she was thrilled about this little kid’s birthday. When I asked her to come, I was secretly hoping she’d say no, spare me the family reunion with people I share DNA with but zero patience for. But no. She lit up like I’d invited her to tea with the queen.

Next thing I knew, she’d dragged me to the mall hunting for a gift, then disappeared into her house to change, and now she was sitting next to me, smelling like vanilla and my favorite thing in the world, looking far too good for a children’s party.

She wore a soft grey pleated skirt and a matching knit sweater that made her look dangerously irresistible, enough to make me seriously consider turning the car around. Why go play nice with family when I could just stay home and rip her sweater instead?

She carried a small burgundy bag, too tiny to hold anything but that lipstick, the same crimson shade painted over her sinful mouth. My second-favorite color.

Fuck. Remind me again why we’re going?

The color matched the deep red thingy tied into her golden hair, something like a bow, loose at the ends where her waves fell down her shoulders. A few strands framed her face, begging to be fisted in my hand and pulled back until she forgot how to breathe.

She’d done a good job covering the bruise on her cheek, but the faint split on her lip still lingered, a reminder of how easily the world had dared to touch what was mine.

I rested my hand over her thigh, my fingers brushing her skin, grasping for control to keep driving ahead.

She was mumbling under her breath again, barely audible over the hum of the car. I glanced at her. Her lips were moving, counting on her fingers like she was revising for an exam. “Nathan, Maria, Nikolas, Natalie, Ronald…“

She whispered each name carefully, as if afraid one of them might slip away if she didn’t keep saying it.

When she realized I was watching, her eyes flicked to me, and even with her makeup, I caught the faint flush spreading across her cheeks. “Uh…Maria is such a cute name,” she said quickly, purposely deflecting.

I nodded, my eyes back on the road. “Yeah,” I said. “It was my mother’s name.”

“Oh.” Her voice softened, small, like she hadn’t expected that answer.

Then she rested her hand over mine, where it sat on her thigh, her fingers brushing over the back of my hand in that gentle way that always made me forget the world had sharp edges.

She looked up at me again, her brows pulling together as she asked, “Who’s older? Ronald or Natalie?”

My brows furrowed. I glanced at her, confused. “I told you they’re twins, didn’t I?”

I felt the way her body tensed slightly, but she shook it off immediately. She forced a nod, “Yeah…uh, yeah, you told me, twins, right,” she murmured, and turned her face toward the window.

That’s when it hit me.

Fuck.

The way she’d been counting the names under her breath. The quiet repetition of her questions…it all made sense now. She’s scared she’s going to randomly forget something, just like what happened now.

The thought carved straight through me; it tightened this useless muscle beating beneath my ribcage.

I kept driving, my hand tightening under hers, because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know how to fight something I couldn’t see, something that was taking not just her memory, but also her peace of mind.

When we stopped at the red lights, I leaned closer to her and pressed a kiss to her temple, “Don’t be nervous,” I mumbled into her skin.

She looked at me, her lips twitching, “I am just excited to meet your family.”

I wanted to tell her that I didn’t exactly consider them my family, but then again, I didn’t want to ruin her little excitement, so I nodded my head. “Yeah, well, they’re gonna love you.”

Her smile widened at that. Her hand stayed over mine, holding on like she needed the contact to keep steady.

When we pulled up to the house, I parked in the driveway. A few cars were already lined up. Great, more people to meet. Fuck, again, why did I agree to this?

I stepped out first, rounding the car just as Aylin stepped down. She grabbed her bag and the little gift bag she’d insisted on buying. I’d told her she could just share mine, but no, she wanted to get her own.

I rested my hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the door.

“How old is Maria?” she asked, glancing at me with genuine curiosity, like she needed to know every detail before stepping inside.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Five, six…maybe? I’m not sure. I don’t really understand how kid ages work. She’s a small little thing.”

Aylin chuckled under her breath, shaking her head at me.

I rang the bell, and a few seconds later, the door swung open, and there stood Ronald. His gaze flicked from me to Aylin, then back to me. Instead of a hello, he groaned, “Dammit. Now I owe Nik a hundred bucks.”

My eyebrows pulled closer, “What?”

He was already fishing a folded bill out of his pocket, huffing and puffing. “I made a bet that you wouldn’t bring her,” he said, completely unbothered, “and Nik said you would, and well, apparently he won. The bastard.“

My jaw ticked, and I shot him a hard glare, hoping he’d shut up soon. He sighed, then turned to Aylin, and his whole demeanor flipped to charming mode. “Hey,” he said with a warm grin, holding out his hand. “I’m Ronald, the older brother and, according to most, the favorite.”

Aylin, being my sweet princess, actually shook his hand, smiling. “I’m Aylin,” she said softly. “Nice to meet you.”

Ronald’s grin widened. “Believe me, the pleasure’s all mine,” he said, throwing me a teasing look that made my jaw twitch. This was a bad idea, I knew it. Is it too late to back out?

He stepped aside. “Come in, come in,” he said, all mock hospitality, as if he owned the house.

I shot him another look that promised pain later. I swear to God, I’ve never met anyone with a more punchable face. I could only assume Nikolas had tested that theory more than once throughout the years.

He led the way down the hallway toward the back room that opened into the yard, and the second I stepped in, I was assaulted by an ungodly amount of pink. Every-fucking-where. Balloons in every shade of it floated near the ceiling, ribbons, confetti, glitter. The whole place looked like a cotton candy bomb had gone off.

God, it was too much.

I ignored the chaos and scanned the room for the only kid worth this migraine.

My lips curved when I spotted her at a close distance. In a frilly pink dress that looked like it had been stolen straight out of some fairytale, her hair tied up in two messy pigtails with pink ribbons that bounced every time she jumped.

She was surrounded by a pack of other miniature humans, probably her age, laughing, spinning, and waving some type of wands in the air.

When we stepped outside, her head turned, and when her eyes landed on me, they widened in delight. “Uncle Nathan!” The next thing I knew, she was sprinting toward me, all pink tulle and tiny shoes slapping against the floor.

I scooped her up when she was near and kissed her pretty face. She giggled and waved her glittery wand in my face, “You came to my party!”

“Of course I did,” I said, kissing her cheek. “Wouldn’t miss it, birthday girl.”

“Did you bring me a gift?”

I chuckled. “Obviously. What kind of monster do you take me for?”

Her eyes went wide, her lips parting in awe. “Is it big?”

I nodded. “Yes, very.”

She gasped, clapping her hands with enthusiasm. Her glittery wand smacked me in the face, repeatedly. I winced, blinking through the assault. God, she’s lucky she’s so adorable.

I set her down, and her curious eyes immediately landed on the woman next to me. She tilted her head, inspecting Aylin, “Who are you?” she asked, soft curiosity in her tiny voice.

Aylin crouched down to her level, that soft smile lighting up her face. “I’m Aylin,” my princess said gently, brushing a bit of glitter from Maria’s cheek. “Happy birthday.”

Maria tilted her head, “Thanks,” Her eyes went to me, then back to Aylin, “Are you Uncle Nathan’s wife?”

Aylin froze, her eyes widening slightly. “Uh, no, I’m—”

I crouched beside them, cutting her off. “But she will be soon,” I told Maria, deadly serious. “And she’s gonna make me a bunch of cute, adorable little babies just like you.”

“Nathan!” Aylin hissed at me, her eyes widening in absolute horror.

Maria gasped, her eyes sparkling, “Really?” she squealed, clapping again. “Yes, yes, make me babies!”

I grinned and looked at Aylin. “See? She’s already on board.”

My princess looked like she was about to spontaneously combust.

We straightened up, and Maria, bless her tiny, judgmental soul, turned to Aylin and asked, ever so seriously. “Did you get me a gift?” she asked, like the answer would decide if Aylin was allowed to stay at the party or not.

Aylin nodded with a soft smile and extended the bag in her hand toward the girl. “Yeah, of course I did,” She said.

Maria’s eyes sparkled. “Thanks!” she squealed, hugging the bag to her chest before sprinting off across the yard. “Mommy! Look what Uncle Nathan’s wife got me!”

Aylin froze, mortified. “Oh my God,” she groaned, dragging a hand down her face.

I laughed, completely unbothered. “Well,” I said, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer, “no use fighting destiny, princess.”

She shot me a glare, her cheeks pink and eyes fuming, but it didn’t stop me from pressing a kiss to her temple. “Welcome to the family.”

Before she could swat me, movement in my peripheral caught my eye. Natalie stepped closer, smiling so softly and warmly, which, honestly, threw me off. For once, her warm smile didn’t feel…fake. I am not sure why.

“Hey, welcome. I’m so glad you made it,” she said, her eyes flicking between me and Aylin, then glanced over her shoulder, where Maria was sitting cross-legged on the floor, tearing through wrapping paper like a tiny savage. Natalie sighed, shaking her head. “I’m that little energy bomb’s mother,” she said, amusement slipping into her voice.

She extended her hand toward Aylin. “I’m Natalie, by the way. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Finally? Seriously…

Aylin smiled, shaking her hand. “I’m Aylin.” She said, looking at Maria, “She’s such an adorable little kid.”

Natalie sighed fondly. “She is a little monster,” She said, shaking her head tiredly, “People think she takes after me, but no, she is a little devil like her father.”

My eyes flickered around then, falling on Nikolas, watching as Ronald handed him the hundred bucks. God, they should get other hobbies, seriously. Nikolas looked smug, sipping on his drink as his eyes fell on me. He flashed me a look, a knowing kind of smirk that made my blood pressure spike.

I shot him a glare that promised future violence.

He just lifted his glass in a toast.

I seriously hate these people.

Natalie excused herself when the doorbell rang, and I used the moment to guide Aylin away from the crowd, a hand at her back as I scanned for the furthest possible place from all existing human life.

Then she froze. “Oh my God,” she murmured under her breath.

“What?” I asked.

She nodded toward the far end of the room. “Those are Chase’s parents,” she whispered, her voice dipping low.

I followed her gaze, and, sure enough, there they were. My jaw ticked. Perfect. Well, at least Prince Charming himself wasn’t here. A little small mercy. The only good thing about this party, I guess.

“I should go say hi,” she said softly, glancing up at me like she was checking if I’d decline.

I nodded, “Yeah, sure,” I grumbled, because what other choice did I have?

Just then, as if fate was playing tricks on me, and because the universe has a personal grudge against me. I watched as Maria suddenly shot up from the ground and bolted across the yard like a pink missile.

“Lilly!” she screamed.

I turned just in time to see her fling herself into Lilly’s arms. Lilly crouched to catch her, laughing as she hugged her tight and said. “I missed you so much!”

“Daddy said you weren’t coming,” Maria said, pouting.

“Well, how could I ever miss your birthday, huh?” Lilly scrunched her nose and hugged her again, and I thought, okay, fine, cute moment, sure.

And then the universe decided to make it worse.

Because right behind Lilly came him, prince-fucking-charming himself.

Maria jumped so quickly, “Chase!” She said,  practically leaping into his arms. He laughed and picked her up effortlessly.

I really wanted to slam my head into some fucking wall.

Just perfect.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the cherry on top of my miserable, glitter-infested, emotionally scarring night.

⊹˚₊‧──────────────────‧₊˚⊹

Author’s note:

Another day, another update from your awesome author 🙂

This was a light cute chapter, hope you liked it. Thought I’d make it lighter before we dive back into drama 😉

Aylin is finally meeting our chaotic family.
She already met half of them before but it’s much different now xD

So, who do you want to see her interact with?

Anyways, see ya next week, hopefully 🩶