Chapter 25

“She didn’t break me loudly.
She just breathed,
looked away,
and the quiet finished the rest.“

Aylin’s POV

I woke with a mind-numbing pain splitting straight through the center of my skull.

God, it wasn’t any normal headache. No, this one felt…inhuman, like someone had reached inside my head and twisted something vital with their bare hands. A slow, pulsing throb that threatened to knock me right back into unconsciousness.

I blinked up at the ceiling, disoriented.

The room was dim, the sheets were cold where warmth should’ve been. Cold, because Nathan wasn’t next to me.

For a second, I didn’t know why that bothered me. He is always up before me, up doing whatever unholy things make up his morning villain routine, preparing himself for violence, chaos, and general misbehavior, so it shouldn’t have shocked me.

I pushed myself up, wincing when the pain dragged behind my eyes like it was tethered to something deeper. My mouth tasted dry, like I’d fallen asleep too fast…or fallen into something deeper than sleep.

How did I even fall asleep?

I frowned, rubbing at my temple. I tried to pull my last memories back in order, Nathan’s hands in my hair, the way he held me, the stupid things he said that annoyingly made me smile, his heartbeat under my cheek, and then…then, I must’ve drifted off in his arms.

The asshole had the best of arms, his embrace so warm and safe that I seem to flail every time I am surrounded by them.

I exhaled sharply and shook my head, trying to shake the throbbing pain away, but failed. I was tired, probably. That was all. Yesterday had been a long day, full of noise and chaos and of Nathan being…Nathan.

I checked the time and groaned. I had to shower, change, and leave for work in an hour, but my energy was completely depleted. God, I was always such an early bird, but now I could barely peel myself out of bed. What’s happening to me?

I swung my legs off the mattress and stood, catching myself on the nightstand when the floor tilted a fraction under my feet.

Whoa, that’s new…

My vision steadied after a moment, though the headache didn’t budge, and I padded toward the bathroom. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, my hair in disarray, pillow-crease stamped across my cheek, my face all red, and my eyes looked like I’ve been sleeping for ages.

How did I sleep that deeply? I blame Nathan only. I seem to drop into some ridiculous, coma-level sleep whenever he’s around.

I didn’t want yesterday’s scene repeating itself, with me walking downstairs looking like this, only to come across one of Nathan’s guests, so I opted to freshen up and brush my teeth and hair before I attempted to go down in search of my psycho boy.

The throb in my skull deepened, nearly knocking me back a step. I gritted my teeth and turned on the bathroom light. The brightness stung my eyes, and I groaned.

But I lifted my chin anyway, leaned closer to the mirror, and whispered to my reflection, “Get it together.“

Once I was done, I made my way downstairs, wrapping my arms around myself when a chill crept over my skin. My eyes drifted around, impatiently searching for him.

A hint of movement from the kitchen caught my attention. I headed toward it, pausing quietly by the doorway.

Nathan stood behind the marble counter, a takeout coffee cup raised near his lips, his eyes fixed on a stack of papers spread out in front of him. He flipped through the pages with that intense focus of his, the one that made him look like he was plotting someone’s downfall rather than just reading.

He looked…god, he looked like he had just come back from the gym. He was wearing a black fitted T-shirt that clung unfairly to every carved line of his chest and arms. His jogger shorts hung low on his hips, and his hair was damp, wet from either sweat or a shower.

Soft strands fell over his forehead, darkened by moisture, and yet somehow made him look even more…him, so effortlessly, irritatingly hot.

The morning light poured in behind him, sharpening the angles of his shoulders, the curve of his jaw, the way his forearms flexed when he turned a page.

I leaned against the doorway without meaning to, just…watching him, admiring him because there was something about this version of him that made my breath catch in my throat.

I could easily get used to waking up to this sight every morning.

I forced myself to shut that image before it formed. I didn’t get to dream about futures, not with someone who openly admitted he didn’t believe in building them.

I didn’t make a single sound, but somehow Nathan felt my presence. His gaze lifted from the file, his eyes locking onto mine. On instinct, his face relaxed, his lips curving up, “Morning, sleepyhead,” He said.

My heart fluttered stupidly, and I pushed myself off the doorway, trying to look less like someone who’d just been caught staring at him like an idiot.

“Morning,” I breathed, stepping toward him until we met halfway. “Where were you?”

“Went for an early workout,” he said, then he reached into a small bag beside him. “Also got you this godawful green drink on my way back.” He added, extending forward my matcha drink, from my favorite shop, the one that definitely was not on his way. Not even close. It was practically on the opposite end of the town.

I blinked.

Did he…actually go out of his way just to get it for me?

I tried not to think too deeply about it, but my heart did that obnoxious flutter it did whenever this walking menace accidentally revealed he had a softer side. I wanted to thank him, but I knew he wouldn’t appreciate it.

So instead, I stepped closer, rising on my toes. My fingers curled around the collar of his T-shirt, pulling him down toward me as I pressed my lips to his, not a soft peck, but a deep, grounding kiss that I hoped would erase the pain in my head.

Nathan didn’t hesitate, not for a mere second.

He rested my drink on the counter and instantly kissed me back with a certainty that made my knees weaken, his movements slow at first, then deeper, hungrier, one hand sliding to the back of my neck while the other anchored itself around my waist. His fingers curled into the fabric of his own shirt draped over me, pulling me closer as if the space between us offended him.

The pounding in my head dulled beneath the warmth of him, the throb fading under the pressure of his mouth moving against mine. He kissed like he always did, like he owned every cell in my being, like stopping was a foreign concept he didn’t understand.

When I finally pulled back for breath, his eyes were already on me. They had darkened slightly, focused entirely on my lips as if they’d personally wronged him by leaving his.

He exhaled once, slowly, and tilted his head, “Well, looks like I’ll be getting you that godawful drink every morning,” He said, his lips twitching, “If it gets me kissed like that.”

I smiled back, my fingers lifting to brush the side of his cheek. They hovered there a moment too long, trembling slightly, because I was drawn to him in ways that transcended normal, in ways that felt dangerous.

In ways that scared me.

I almost pulled my hand back, almost stepped away, almost ran, because it terrified me to want him like this, to need him like this. I can’t do this again, hell no, I can’t…

Falling in love with Nathan was not an option. I needed to be careful. I was losing my footing here, slipping into him without meaning to, getting absorbed by every detail, memorizing every habit, craving every look, wanting to know every hidden part of him, and I shouldn’t. God, no, I shouldn’t.

I couldn’t survive going through that again.

Something tells me it will be even worse this time around, because what I have with Nathan is more intense than anything I’ve ever shared with anyone before him. It’s sharp, consuming, and impossible to control. If I fall for him, I know the drop will be devastating, catastrophic.

Almost as if he sensed it, sensed the retreat inside me before I could even move, his palm slid to the small of my back and pressed firmly, pulling me flush against him.

My chest collided with his, my breath catching as he crushed me against the solid heat of his body.

My thoughts scrambled.

I blinked up at him, trying desperately to steady myself, to not fall apart under the way he was looking at me, like he’d drag me back every time I tried to run.

There was a glint in his eyes, that impossible softness only he could make look dangerous. He had that carefree boyish smile that tugged at my heart. My lips twitched, and I found myself smiling back, hating how easily he knocked down every wall inside me.

I overthink everything. He overthinks nothing, and somehow, being in his arms felt like the safest place to stop running from my own head.

So, I let myself breathe. I let myself fall into the moment because that’s what he does to me…he helps me let go.

“You look so yummy,” I mumbled, because god be my savior, he looked like my sweet damnation.

His grin widened, all wicked like him. “Eat me, then.”

A breathy laugh escaped me at the mischievous glint in his eyes. “I’m planning to.”

My hand slipped from his cheek, ghosting down the warm line of his throat to his collarbone, “Wanna shower with me?”

I barely got the words out before an arm slid beneath my knees. Suddenly, I was lifted clean off the ground, a startled gasp ripping out of me as I grabbed his shoulder for balance.

“You crazy man—what—” When I say he gives me whiplash, I mean it. Literally.

His eyebrow lifted as he carried me straight out of the kitchen.

“Did you actually expect me to say no to that?” he asked, incredulous. “If I ever, ever, say no to such a sweet offer like that, know that I’ve been kidnapped and replaced by an alien.”

I shook my head at this insane human. “But my matcha…” I mumbled with a pout, watching my drink get farther and farther away as he carried me up the stairs.

“You’ll get it after I’m done with you,” Nathan said, his eyes only on mine, then his voice dropped lower, a bit rougher, “Who am I kidding? I’ll never be done with you.”

My heart punched my ribs at that, but I didn’t have time to process anything, because suddenly my feet hit cold shower tiles and his mouth crashed onto mine again. God.

I almost moaned out loud at the waves that crashed in me, at the way he kissed me like he was starving and I was the only thing left on earth worth devouring. He didn’t kiss with softness or patience or anything resembling normal human behavior. Nathan kissed like a man built to ruin, to annihilate.

He didn’t ease in. He took, and took, and took…but I don’t want him to take my heart, too.

His hand slipped under the hem of my shirt and ripped it upward, over my head. We broke the kiss only long enough to yank it off and throw it aside before he dragged me back in, lips claiming mine again, his fingers tangling in my hair, fisting the strands, pulling me closer and closer.

I wanted the pain in my head gone. I wanted him to erase it, so I matched his ferocity with my own.

My fingers clawed at his T-shirt, pulling, dragging, desperate, slipping the fabric off him while his mouth devoured mine. His lips confiscated every breath I tried to take, licking, sucking, biting. God, the biting.

He walked me backward until something cold pressed against my spine, and in the same moment, the rainfall shower burst to life above us. Hot water crashed over us in a sudden wave, steaming instantly, fog swallowing the space in a soft white haze.

A half-chuckle, half-moan slipped out of me, vibrating right into his mouth at the absurdity, the chaos, the sheer Nathan-ness of it all. This man…what is he doing to me? Will I ever be able to escape his shackles? Do I even want to?

He bit my lower lip in retaliation, not on the bruised side, no, but hard enough to make my breath hitch, then pulled back just a fraction.

The water poured over him, soaking his hair, dripping in streams down his jaw, rolling over his throat and collarbone, tracing the sculpted lines of his chest, sliding over every inch of him until it reached the V lines of his hips. Goddammit.

My fingers went straight for his zipper, tugging, needing every barrier gone, every piece of clothing, every inch of distance, everything.

My eyes fell on his thick, already hard cock, straining against the damp fabric of his briefs. My pulse spiked, my throat going dry as my nails scraped lightly over the waistband before I hooked my fingers into the elastic and yanked.

Instincts took over me…that happens a lot when he is around. I don’t think, I don’t seek control like I practiced my whole life, I just…be, I exist.

Those instincts had me wrap my fingers around the base, and believe me when I say, they don’t close all the way when I do…jesus, my thumb and middle finger did not even meet as I tightened my grip, just enough, a shy touch of painful, just the way I knew he liked, and I moved them up, feeling the veins throbbing, pulsing beneath my skin.

I nearly whimpered because the suppressed groan that rumbled from his throat went straight to my core.

My eyes lifted, drifting over the way his abs flexed, the way his chest rose and hitched at my touch. God. I loved it. I loved the way this man, the one who worshipped control, who held it like a weapon, came undone beneath my fingers.

But the pleasure burning in my chest shifted sharply, it dipped, and the pain in my head spiked when my gaze caught on those familiar scars scattered across his hard skin.

My free hand moved before I even thought about it. I traced one slowly with my fingertip, then another, terrified of how much I wanted to understand them, understand him.

I wanted to know their story. I wanted to taste the history in every line.

Before, it was just curiosity. Now…now it felt like a need, like if I knew where each scar came from, I could avenge it, erase it, and undo every sick hand that ever dared to hurt him.

It sounded ridiculous even in my own head, but I couldn’t stop the feeling from clawing up my throat.

Sometimes I think I see him for who he is, that I really know him. Other times, he’s this enigma, wrapped in danger and playfulness, impossible to decipher, impossible to predict, impossible not to want.

His fingers, still tangled in my hair, tightened suddenly, snapping me out of my messy thoughts. I gasped when he pulled at them harshly, forcing my chin up, tilting my head back so I had no choice but to look at him, at his dark eyes, at his expression that I could never fully read.

The water streamed down his face, dripping from his jaw onto my lips, mixing with my breath. His tight grip in my wet hair kept me exactly where he wanted me, so close, too close, and something inside me trembled, not from fear or pain. No, but from want.

I didn’t let go of him, but my strokes slowed down, my palm dragging up the underside of his cock before twisting slightly at the head, my thumb smearing the pre-cum in slow circles as I looked him straight in the eye, watching the way his control frayed with every press of my fingers, they way his muscle coiled tighter, his jaw clenching so hard I could see the tendons stand out in his neck.

He edged his face closer, his lids dropping, his nose brushing mine, his harsh breath slipping over my skin, mixing with the warm water that fell over us.

“Aylin…” My name didn’t sound like a name at all. It was a warning, a confession, a man on the brink of unraveling.

I tightened my grip the slightest, and that’s when it happened. Nathan snapped, unable to give me that much control over him.

A groan rumbled from his throat, and his hand shot out, clamping around my wrist so fast. He yanked me off him, spinning me around before I could even register what was happening. My front hit the tile with a wet slap, the cold shock of it against my heated skin made me arch, and my breath left me in a sharp exhale.

His body pressed against mine, all hard muscle and heat, his cock thick and insistent against my back as his lips found my ear, “What in god’s name are you doing to me?” His voice was strained, like he was panting, fighting something I couldn’t see.

His hands slid over mine, pinning them against the tiles, his fingers locking tightly over my wrists. “Hands on the wall,” he ordered. The edge in his tone made me squeeze my legs tighter, but he didn’t have any of it and nudged them apart with his own.

His free hand slid over my breasts, down my stomach, his fingers spreading over my mound before slipping between my legs, two of them pressing inside me without warning. A low whimper pushed off my mouth, my head falling back against his shoulder, my hips rolling into his touch, clenching around him.

His movements were pure roughness, twisting, curling, stretching me open with a precision that made me tremble. I could feel every ridge of his calloused fingertips, every deliberate press against that spot deep inside that sent sparks skittering up my spine.

My breath came in ragged gasps as I arched into him, helpless under his assault. He knew exactly how to play me, how to wind me so tight I could barely breathe. I couldn’t, really.

“Fucking hell, Aylin, breathe,” his voice was a dark rasp against the shell of my ear. His hand let go of my wrists and tangled in my hair, pulling my head back just enough to force my chest out. Oh dear god. “If you can’t handle my fingers, how the fuck will you take my cock?”

A whimper tore out of my throat, along with the words, challenging him back, “I can.”

“Of course, you can,” he muttered, “you were made only for me, weren’t you?” His fingers twisted again, rubbing that swollen bundle of nerves inside me, and my vision blurred at the edges. “You are my princess, after all, only mine, right?”

I nodded, my stomach tightening. I was so close, so fucking close. “Yeah,” I breathed out, “and you…you belong only to me, right?” My voice came out weak and so uncertain, because the mere image of him sharing this with someone else made me see red behind my lids.

“Fuck, princess, can’t you see it?” He growled into my neck, his teeth closing over my flesh, biting  hard enough that I was sure he’d drawn blood, rough enough to make me squirm. “You are so deep in me, I feel like I’d have to bleed myself dry just to get you out.”

My body betrayed me instantly, every last shred of self-preservation burned to ash, because god, I wanted that, to be buried in him, under his skin, inside his bones.

To ruin him for anyone else the same way he ruined me for everyone.

His fingers were gone in an instant, and before I could take my next breath, the head of his cock pressed against my entrance, no warning, no teasing, just one brutal, claiming thrust that stretched me open in a single stroke.

I cried out, unable to keep the sounds in. The pain and the pleasure, the heat and the cold, it all mixed into one. My nails dug into the tiles, scared I might just fall and crumble. My body seized around him as he bottomed out, going all the way in. The burn of it was exquisite, the stretch almost too much, but god, I loved it.

“Tell me, how the hell am I ever supposed to get you out of me?” He muttered, his arm circling my waist, his palm pressing my stomach, holding me as he pulled back and thrust into me again, slower this time, hitting that perfect spot inside me, making my vision blur.

His voice sounded tortured, wrecked, like he really wanted an answer.

I wanted to speak, to ask if he actually wanted that. Does he really want a way out?

But…but I don’t know what came over me. The pain in my head got louder, blinding. The dizziness swarmed my vision rapidly, mixing with the steam until everything warped.

My breath stuttered, then vanished. I felt my eyes roll back, and my knees nearly buckled.

“Nathan,” My voice came out breathless, thin, and broken. I reached for him blindly, my fingers trembling. “Nath…no, stop.” I managed to say in breathless gasps, my body falling limply back into his.

I felt the exact second he realized something was wrong. He froze, and his whole body tensed up. In an instant, he withdrew from me, turned me around so fast the world swung violently, his arms caging me from all sides.

“Aylin?” He whispered, breathless.

My vision blurred into nothing, the steam swirling into a dark haze as a pulse of agony ripped through my head. My body sank deeper into his hold, unable to stand still, unable to breathe.

Nathan turned off the water, then I was lifted off the tile, strong arms scooping me up, holding me tightly against his chest. “Aylin, what’s wrong?” I couldn’t see his face in the blur of motion and pain, but his voice sounded frantic.

I felt him wrap me in something warm and soft, a towel maybe. I felt cold water on my face as he palmed my cheeks, my forehead, checking and examining. “Princess, look at me,” His thumbs stroked my cheekbones, gentle and coaxing, “tell me, what’s hurting you?”

I blinked, once, twice, and the world sharpened slowly, until his face came into focus, and god, for someone whose expression rarely ever changed, he looked so agitated, eyebrows drawn, eyes so dark, jaw clenched tightly in terror.

I dragged air into my lungs and swallowed past the dryness in my throat.

“Talk to me, what’s wrong? What’s hurting you?” He whispered again, breathing into each word. His fingers brushed the wet strands off my face, tracing down my jaw like he needed to touch me.

“It’s better now,” I managed, my voice small. “I just—”

A sharp pulse lit behind my eyes, and I sucked in a breath, wincing, squeezing them shut as it sliced through me before it slowly started to diminish, but that was when I felt something warm trickle down to my lip.

Nathan saw it before I felt it.

“Fuck.” The curse wasn’t even spoken. It was exhaled, like the air had been punched out of him.

He carefully shifted me in his arms, one hand supporting the back of my neck as he grabbed something from the counter with the other. I heard a rip, fabric tearing, then something soft was pressed beneath my nose, catching the warmth there.

I felt him adjust me carefully in his hold, keeping me up straight. His hand cradled the back of my head. “You need to tip your head forward, princess,” he said so softly, holding me just right as the blood dripped from my nose into the antiseptic cotton he was holding under my nose.

His hand at the back of my head stroked gently, moving to the nape of my neck, trying to soothe me even when his jaw worked painfully with every drip of blood that left me.

He pulled the cotton back to check it, and his entire body went still for a long second. The fabric was soaked to the brim, too much crimson. My stomach dropped at the sight, but Nathan didn’t flinch. He grabbed another sterile pad and pressed it back, wiping ever so carefully under my nose.

I felt him edge closer, until his forehead nearly touched mine, his lips brushing my temple in a way he didn’t even seem aware of. “What else is hurting you?” he murmured into my skin, his voice so low.

I swallowed, forcing breath back into my lungs. “It’s…getting better,” I muttered, and it was. The pain in my head was still there, but it was shrinking, dimming enough for me to breathe again.

I tilted my head slightly so I could look at him. His expression was wrong, too tense, too sharp.

I tried to offer him a small smile, to shake this agitation off him. “So…you almost fucked me into unconsciousness, huh?” I tried to sound playful, anything to get him back to himself, because I didn’t know how to deal with this other version of him.

He didn’t find humor in my words. If possible, his jaw clenched hard enough to tremor, and his eyes dragged over my face like he was trying to tear it open and find the source of my pain with his bare hands. His thumb stroked my cheek once, so gentle it contrasted violently with the tension rolling through him.

“Hey,” His voice dipped. “Hold this.”

I brought my hand up obediently, pressing the cotton beneath my nose. He freed his hand and used it to tilt my head up slightly, studying me with a level of focus that made my breath catch.

“Look at my eyes,” he said.

I did.

He stared into mine with utter focus, like he was looking for clues, checking something specific. His brows pulled together slowly, the tension carving a deeper line between them.

The longer he looked, the more his expression shifted,  confusion sharpening into worry, and that frightened me more than the pain.

His throat bobbed. He pulled one hand back and lifted his index finger, “Look at my finger only,” he said.

My eyebrows pulled closer, not understanding a thing, but I did as he said.

“Follow it as it moves,” he instructed, moving his finger slowly to the right, then left…then right…then left again.

I followed it with my gaze, blinking slowly through the last remnants of dizziness, not understanding what he was checking or why he looked so damn serious.

When I finally looked back at him, the frown between his brows had deepened, and his jaw ticked, as if to suppress something within.

“What?” I whispered, clueless and a little scared.

He exhaled through his nose, brushing a damp strand from my cheek gently, “Let’s go to a doctor,” he said hesitantly, “you know, get you all checked up?”

I shook my head immediately. “No, no need, I’m already feeling better.” I pulled the pad away to show him. It wasn’t soaked this time, just a few drops of blood. The pain in my head was dull now, fading, and the dizziness was entirely gone.

“I think it stopped,” I added quickly. “And I have to get to work—”

“No,” Nathan interrupted quickly, his voice authoritative. “You’ll take a sick leave, the pressure in the plane will not help with this,” He said, his tone final.

He did have a point.

I sighed and nodded. “Okay, I’ll call them, see if I can.”

I leaned into him, “You know, it’s kind of hot when you play my doctor,” I said, joking around to show him that I was okay, so he’d stop looking at me like that.

His lips twitched, barely, but he didn’t fully smile. He cupped the side of my head again, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head, lingering there a second longer than usual.

“Aylin,” he breathed, “still…let’s go to the hospital,” He suggested again, “Just to make sure you’re okay?”

I shook my head. God no, I hated hospitals.

“No, really,” I murmured, looking up at him in reassurance. “I feel so much better. I just got dizzy, and the steam didn’t help, and I haven’t eaten anything yet…and you never go easy on me when we have sex,” I added, watching the way his brow arched, in that infuriating, sexy, offended-at-the-truth expression he got.

I winked, “My blood pressure probably went up or down or sideways or something. I’m fine now, really.”

I wiped under my nose once more, and thankfully, no more blood came, “See? All better.”

Nathan didn’t trust it. I could see it in his eyes, but he took the damp cotton from my fingers anyway, tossed it aside, then slipped an arm around my back and under my knees, lifting me again, not giving me a chance to resist or pretend I could stand on my own.

He carried me to the bed and lowered me onto the sheets with more care than I’d ever seen from him. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered before disappearing into the bathroom.

A few seconds later, he returned, his body dry now, joggers hanging low on his hips, still shirtless. He walked to the closet, grabbed the first sweatshirt within reach, draped it over his shoulder, and came back to me.

I was still damp, wrapped in a big towel, so I rushed to dry myself before he reached me, stupidly wanting to look less fragile because I seemed to have a knack for falling weak whenever he was around.

He sat on the edge of the bed and slipped the sweatshirt over my head, guiding my arms through the sleeves, smoothing it down over me with careful hands.

He had a smaller towel with him, and he used to dry my hair with slow, gentle strokes. Dear god, his sweet gestures were going to kill me. They kept making my heart flutter, traitorous and overly dramatic.

Get a fucking grip, Aylin. Get. A. Grip.

“You’re sure you are feeling better?” Nathan checked once more, his eyes examining me still.

I nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah, really. Just…could you get me some painkillers, please?” I muttered. “For the headache. It’s barely there, but it’d be better.”

“I’ll get you something to eat first,” Nathan said, slipping right back into that annoyingly serious tone that made me want to kiss him and throw a pillow at his head at the same time. He stood, jerking his chin at my phone. “Call them and take the day off, now,” he ordered, as if I was seconds away from crawling out the window to go to work.

“I’ll be back.”

I watched him leave, his back to me, and my gaze inevitably fell onto the ink beneath his shoulder blade, the one I’d only glimpsed once at the cabin. Considering he doesn’t let me properly revel in his hot naked body much, I never got another look until now.

The tattoo was a line of words, carved in dark across his skin, and definitely not in English. Damn, I couldn’t decipher a single thing.

Even his tattoo refused to give me straight answers; of course, it would be as ambiguous and infuriating and beautifully fucked-up as he is.

This man, this menace…he was born to drive me insane, I swear.

I huffed loudly and reached for the phone on the nightstand, assuming it was mine, but the second my fingers brushed it, the screen lit up, and my already fragile heart pulled another dramatic stunt.

It was his phone, and the screensaver was…our picture, from yesterday, probably the same one little Nathan showed him, the one I didn’t get to see.

The bigger part of the frame was me, and beside me was this menace, leaning close, his eyelids down, his lips on my cheek, as if surrendering all of his power to me.

Heat crept up my neck, spreading to my ears. My chest tightened with a ridiculous cocktail of warmth and panic, and hopeless longing as my thumb hovered over the screen like an idiot.

How am I supposed to keep my heart out of this? Seriously—how?

This man…he feels like he’d throw me to the wolves just to watch what I’d do, but at the same time, he looks like he’d tear the whole forest down if one of them dared to touch me.

I swallowed hard and set the phone back in its place. Shake it off, Aylin. Shake. It. Off.

I gathered my strength, called work, and reported my sick leave. They accepted right away, probably shocked I was even capable of getting sick, considering I barely took any days off since I started. Then I typed out an official email, pressed send, just as footsteps approached the room.

My eyes fell on Nathan as he walked back in, a tray in his hands. I blinked in shock as he placed it over my lap. I stared at an actual plate of perfectly done scrambled eggs, so fluffy and steaming. The savory buttery smell made my empty stomach growl in protest. There were some veggies on the side, cheese, and perfectly toasted bread.

I watched as Nathan rested a cup of tea on the nightstand. I looked up at his face, completely thrown off my axis. There is no way he ordered this. It came too fast, and it looked…homemade.

“You prepared this?” I asked.

He nodded, “Yeah, eat, come on,” He said, “I don’t want you fainting on me again.”

“I thought…you said you don’t do kitchen stuff,” I mumbled, still trying to adjust.

“I don’t,” he replied matter-of-factly. “But I saw you make eggs that one time. I’m a fast learner. Besides, it’s easy.” Then he shrugged, “Do try it though. I’m not sure if it’s edible, it’s my first time making it.”

Here goes my heart, the traitorous bastard, singing a song in my ribcage. Dammit…stop, stupid heart.

I tore a piece of bread, picked up the fork, scooped some eggs onto it, and brought it to my mouth. I sank into the warm buttery taste, the perfect mix of salt and pepper. Wow. Who knew something as simple as eggs could taste different? Because these were better than mine.

Which was offensive, honestly.

Nathan narrowed his eyes at me. “If it’s bad, don’t eat it. I’ll order you something. I just wanted it to be fast before you go fainting on me again,” he muttered.

I wanted to kiss the life out of him. Seriously.

“No, no, it’s perfect,” I said, my lips curling despite myself. “Thank you.”

His jaw clenched at those simple two words, and I shot him a glare. The way he makes me want to hit him and kiss him in the same breath.

I tore another piece of bread, loaded it with eggs, and held it out toward him. “Here, try it for yourself.”

His eyes flickered from my eyes to my hand, to my fingers hovering near his mouth, and then he leaned in.

He took the bite from my fingers, closing his lips around the food, and making absolutely sure to drag a kiss across my fingertips in the process.

I smiled at this ridiculous human, and he gave me a cocky little wink as he chewed. When he swallowed, he leaned back beside me, looking insufferably pleased with himself.

“Wow, this does taste good,” He said, casually complimenting himself. His eyebrow raised, ever so arrogant, “Well, is there a thing I don’t know how to do, huh?”

I resumed eating, side-eyeing him. “Seriously, is there? You seem to just…know how to do everything.”

I chewed on my food and went through the list. “You’ve got this medical degree you don’t care about, you also told me you got a business degree, you even write, way too well, by the way,” I was left in awe as I thought it all through, “You can speak two languages—”

“Four, actually,” he cut in, as if it were so casual. “Five if you count sign language.”

Damn him.

I narrowed my eyes at this anomaly, “You can drive a car and a motorbike, and you definitely know how to fight and come out as the winner,” I added, and his smile widened and he nodded proudly, “Sure, sure, fighting is a child’s game.”

“And now, you seem to know your way around food,” I leaned in and squinted my eyes at him, “What’s your secret?”

“You forgot the mindblowing sex?” He said, smiling ever so innocently, as if I had accidentally left out the most essential point on his resume.

I snorted. “How could I forget,” I muttered, “Your monstrous dick almost had me fainting a couple of minutes ago.”

He threw his head back and laughed, an unguarded, beautiful, real laugh that hit me straight in the chest. “Monstrous dick?” he repeated, arching an amused eyebrow.

I smiled, melting into that laugh of his,  my ears probably glowing red. “Uh-huh,” I mumbled, utterly doomed by this man.

He leaned closer, his eyes glinting with mischief and pure Nathan energy. “Tell me more,” he said, ready and hungry for me to feed his already skyscraper-high ego.

I swatted his chest and said, “That’s enough for you.”

I picked up a piece of cucumber and bit into it. “Seriously, though,” I said, squinting at him, “you don’t strike me as a nerd. How come you studied all that?”

“I am no nerd,” he said immediately, utterly offended, like I’d accused him of murder. “But the thing is, learning new things keeps my mind stimulated, and I need to keep it stimulated,” He answered.

“If it’s not stimulated,” he added, shrugging once, “well…bad things happen.”

My head tilted as I gazed at him, trying to fully understand the meaning behind every word.

“So I’m always searching for something new to learn. Something difficult, but the problem is…” He lifted a hand, motioning vaguely toward his head. “I’m a fast learner, so it gets easy, fast. And then I get bored, just as fast.”

“So, I keep needing to find more things to challenge it.” He added.

“That’s why you studied medicine?” I asked softly.

He nodded. “It looked like a hard challenge, something that would keep me stimulated for a long time,” He paused, a low sigh parted his lips, “It did, for a while.” He added, “Then it got easy, and therefore…I got bored.”

His words hit somewhere deep, in a very different place. My heart, which had been fluttering stupidly a moment ago, clenched so hard.

Nathan quickly read the sudden change in my expression. His eyebrows drew closer, “What?”

“Is that what I am to you?” I whispered. “Something to keep you stimulated…until you get bored of me?”

His frown deepened, like I spoke in some foreign language he didn’t understand. I looked away, feeling stupidly vulnerable all of a sudden, but he leaned in, his fingers sliding to my jaw, tilting my face toward him with devastating gentleness.

“Aylin,” he murmured, “I could never get bored of you.” He said, like it was a known fact, something inevitable, unarguable.

“You are not…something to keep me stimulated,” He added, shaking his head, “As if you’re temporary or replaceable, don’t ever say that again.”

My breath froze in my throat at his raw honesty. “Then…what am I to you?”

He brushed his thumb over my cheek, his lips curving in that small, devastating smile that only existed for me. “You’re my princess.”

He leaned even closer. “You’re the one thing my mind can’t outrun,” he said. “The one it circles back to, again, and again, and again.”

His thumb traced the faint bruise on my skin, then dragged slowly to the corner of my mouth, “You’re the thought I can’t kill even if I wanted to,” He said, “The fire in my chest that just refuses to die.”

My pulse stuttered.

“You’re not a distraction, Aylin,” he said, breathing into the words.

“You’re…the ache in my ribs, you’re the madness in my veins,” He added, “The only thing that makes my world feel like it’s not collapsing all over itself.”

He exhaled slowly, “You’re not something I’ll get bored of.”

There was a short beat before he added, “You’re the only person I’ll burn for, heck, even burn the whole fucking world for.”

He became a bit blurry as a few tears swarmed my vision, every word he spoke sinking teeth into me, dragging me deeper, deeper, deeper.

Well, rest in peace, my heart.

I tried to fight this battle for the sake of this heart of mine, god knows I did, but this menace of a man walked in with his wrecked honesty and unhinged tenderness, and like always, he won.

I was right before, there isn’t a fight Nathan gets into but comes out as the winner, and in this battle with my poor broken heart, he won again.

He won, and with each word, he nudged my heart closer to the edge…then watched it tumble off the cliff, falling, spiraling, crashing beautifully into him, catastrophically, and just fatally.

⊹˚₊‧────────────‧₊˚⊹

Nathan’s POV

My brain keeps glitching.

It’s lagging, buffering, doing that stupid spinning-wheel thing like it’s waiting for a better internet connection.

It’s driving me insane.

Fucking Nikolas could’ve helped me figure this shit out, but no, he was too busy being an insolent twat with father issues he pretends he doesn’t have. So why am I even surprised?

But one thing I do know, with absolute, infuriating clarity, is exactly what’s causing this lag.

Who, to be more specific.

One person.

One blonde, wicked princess who was probably designed in a lab specifically to sabotage my central nervous system. Only her, because who the fuck else would have that power over me?

My eyes flickered to her again, like a reflex I can’t reprogram.

She was walking beside me, her beautiful hair falling around her face, both hands shoved deep inside a ridiculous, fluffy beige vest she’d put on. Under it, she was wearing that brown sports set, tights, and a cropped top that hugged every curve, every line, every sinful detail of her body, leaving absolutely nothing to imagination.

I needed to hide that set. Burn it. Erase it from existence. Launch it into the fucking sun.

Because there was no universe where anyone else got to see her looking this edible.

No, absolutely not. Over my dead body, over their dead bodies, over everyone’s dead bodies.

After breakfast, she insisted on showering alone, which I’m still offended by. Of course, I scowled and sulked for a while, but I let her have her way this one time because she nearly fainted earlier and gave me a fucking stroke.

Seriously, at this point, with her around, I’m going to die young.

I probably need my heart checked. It keeps doing weird, nauseating, fluttery things in my chest. It’s disgusting. Truly revolting.

Anyway, after that, she suggested we come here, have a little walk by the marina, since the weather was better today, and it would help her get her energy back. So, of course, because I’m physically incapable of refusing her anything, I said yes.

Now, I was regretting it, because her attention wasn’t on me at all, but rather fixed on the sea, too quiet, too inward, too lost in thoughts I can’t access.

And I fucking hated that.

I wanted to pry open that pretty head of hers and read every thought. I wanted to tear into her brain with my bare fucking hands if I had to, anything to understand what was going on in there.

Every symptom she’d been showing kept sharpening the blade pressing against my spine.

Everything I talked over with Natalie, and everything I’ve watched unfold in real time. The nosebleed, the headache, the way her eyes struggled to smoothly follow my finger, god, even her abnormally deep, heavy sleep…those were all symptoms, and I could no longer pretend this was only psychological.

No, fuck, there was something biologically wrong with her brain, and every theory flashing through my mind made me want to scream into the goddamn world until something cracked open and gave me fucking answers.

I needed to find a way to get her to a doctor, soon. I just didn’t know how. It felt as if the moment I opened this conversation, she’d unravel. It was obvious she was avoiding the topic; either she was terrified of digging into it…or she already knew exactly what was wrong and was refusing to acknowledge it.

Both possibilities made me want to put my fist through a wall.

Just as my brain started glitching again, something small and fast, resembling a big rat, slammed into us, well, mainly against Aylin’s legs, forcing us to halt in our walk.

Aylin gasped, jerked out of her thoughts fast, and her hand shot out to steady the tiny creature before he faceplanted into the concrete. “Are you okay?” she asked, wide-eyed, and kneeling to the kid’s level.

He looked up at her in a haze, still trying to understand what had happened. He blinked, then nodded, “Yeah.”

Aylin offered him a small, warm smile before she pinched his rosy cheek. “Oh, you’re so cute,” She mumbled, before she straightened up fully.

Cute?

A smile crept up the gremlin’s face as he stared at her like she was a disney princess or something. “You’re so pretty,” He said, mesmerized.

The nerve of this fucking little shit…this pint-sized parasite.

I curled two fingers around the back of his tiny T-shirt in disgust and removed him from her orbit, pushing him back. He stumbled. I didn’t care. Honestly, I was disappointed he didn’t fall, “Shoo away, you peasant, “I grumbled.

“Nathan!” Aylin hissed, horrified.

The little fucker glared at me, so I glared right back, lowering myself to his level. “Shoo away, come on, return to your human makers before I send you to your eternal real maker above—”

My sentence cut off when Aylin yanked me back by the arm like she was afraid I’d hurl the kid into the sea. She wasn’t wrong. I absolutely was about to.

The gremlin kept glaring as he walked backward. “Mommy,” he shouted, looking over his shoulder once, “I found a real-life princess!” He smiled up at Aylin, then looked at me, stuck his tongue out, and added loudly, “But she’s with a homeless man.”

Then he spun around and ran off.

“What the fuck—” I muttered, going through the social rules in my head. Was hitting a kid frowned upon? If so, how much frowned upon?

Aylin tugged hard at my arm, pulling me back. “Nathan,” she said, her eyes widening, “He is a kid!”

“So?” I grumbled, still staring at where the little punk disappeared, but he was already far away, hiding behind his parents like a coward.

Aylin purposefully steered us in the opposite direction. “God, you are clinically insane, I swear,” she muttered under her breath, shaking her head at me like I was a lost cause.

I shot her a glare.

She met my glare with one of her own. Then, she tried, truly, to smother her smile, but it lasted only two seconds.

Then she let out a soft chuckle. “He called you a homeless man,” she said, tipping her head back as she laughed, like this was fucking hilarious.

She caught my rising exasperation and only smiled wider, sliding her arm around mine and leaning into me, “Aww,” she cooed, “you’re the most handsome homeless man I’ve ever met, really.” She said, and the thought of hurling her into the sea now was getting more appealing.

I huffed out a loud breath, desperate to change the subject. “Anyway,” I muttered, “what do you want to do today?”

“After this, I want to go and see Grandpa,” she said.

I snapped my head toward her so fast my spine cracked. She lifted one eyebrow, challenging me to dare speak.

“He’s been calling and texting,” she continued, “and I really need to talk to him. He’s so worried.”

“I’ll come with you, then,” I said, “I don’t trust the old fu…man.”

“No,” She shot back, “You won’t, you already did enough by punching him.” She glared at me, “I haven’t forgiven you for that, yet.”

I rolled my eyes, and she shoved my arm.

“Seriously, Nathan,” she huffed. “You can’t ever do that again. Grandpa is the most important man in my life. You will never come near him again, and you will never hurt him in any way. I won’t forgive you, really.”

Well, I already did…

And hold the fucking phone, most important man in her life? Great. More reasons to hate the old fucker. He’s the one I should hurl into the sea.

I inhaled slowly, tried some pathetic attempt at meditation inside my glitching brain, and forced myself to change the subject once again. “After you’re done with…him,” I said, looking at her, “let me take you out for dinner.”

She blinked at me, then smiled, “You mean a date?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Wasn’t that part of the ‘normal couple activities’ list you told me about before we started dating?”

She chuckled softly and nodded, “Yeah, I recall.”

“So,” I said, “you wanna have dinner with me outside?”

She shook her head, still smiling, “No.”

I paused in my steps and looked at her, taken aback. What the fuck…

Her smile widened. “I meant no for outside, not for dinner,” she said, licking her lips. “Let’s have dinner at hom—in your house, I mean.”

My eyebrows pinched. “Why?”

She shrugged, “Well, I know how much you hate being surrounded by people…you’re not a people’s person, I can see that, and you’d rather have me all to yourself—” She said, picking to do something that pleases me more than it does her, fuck, she’s gonna kill me, “So, let’s have our date inside.”

Fucking hell, my heart is the one…glitching now.

“Also, I am a really good cook,” She flipped her hair over her shoulder, all teasing and adorable, “I can prepare something for us, anything you’d prefer?”

My lips twitched. “Anything these perfect little hands prepare? I’ll devour the shit out of it.”

Her grin widened, “Okay, but don’t come back to the house until everything is ready. Let’s say seven?”

My eyebrows drew closer, “Why not before? I could help you prepare the food—”

She was already shaking her head. “No, no way, you helping me includes you pushing me against the counter and doing unholy filthy things to me,” She narrowed her eyes at me, “I know you, so no, you’ll be there at seven, or I am not letting you in.”

God, she knew me all too well.

“Unholy filthy things?” I repeated, raising a brow, “Don’t I love it when you talk dirty to me.”

She rolled her eyes at me, unfazed by my sarcasm.

“Unholy things with my monstrous dick, right?” I added, recalling her previous words.

Her cheeks reddened instantly, and she chuckled, “Stop repeating that!” She laughed, swatting at my chest playfully.

I smiled and stared down at her, dying to bite those lips again, eat her whole, drag her into me until I could breathe properly again. God, she didn’t have to be so fucking adorable.

I slipped my hand into her hair, twirling a loose strand around my finger. Her scent filled my lungs, sinking deep into the places I never let anyone reach, and for a moment, the glitching in my head made a kind of terrifying sense, but I refused to acknowledge it fully.

She noticed my silence. “What?” she asked gently, her head tilting, those green eyes pulling me in like gravity.

I tucked the strand of hair behind her ear, “I made you a couple of promises, right?” I mumbled, gazing down those green eyes, the only place I ever wanted to get lost in. The only place I wanted to lock up and keep just for me.

Aylin nodded, “Yeah, you did.”

“And you know I’m gonna keep every single one of them, right?” I said quietly.

The promise to never smoke again. The promise to never walk away from her without an explanation, not like that night at the cabin. The promise to figure out what’s happening to her, to tear apart the world until I know what’s wrong. The promise to never let harm touch her, not while I’m still breathing.

I intend to keep each one. Every fucking one.

Aylin nodded again, trusting me, believing in me.

So for once…for once in my goddamn life…I let my guard slip.

My voice dropped, “Can you promise me one thing only in return?” I muttered.

Her throat bobbed. Her eyes searched mine, terrified I’d ask for something she couldn’t give me.

“What?” she whispered.

“Promise me that you would never…leave me,” I muttered.

The words tasted like blood coming out of my throat.

The first time I let myself be vulnerable.

The first time, I let the monster inside me step aside so she could see the broken boy beneath.

She blinked, and it was over before it started.

Her eyes got glassy, a few tears swarming them but never slipping past the threshold. The tip of her nose got all red, and she looked at me for the longest, most excruciating minute, silent and still.

Her lips parted, “Na—”

“If you’re not going to promise me that,” I cut in, “then don’t…don’t say anything else now.”

Her throat bobbed, she swallowed hard, her lower lip quivered, and she turned her head away from me, purposely not meeting my eyes, and her silence gave me the answer. She looked at the sea before her eyelids fell, one tear trickling down her cheek.

The pain in my throat tightened until I couldn’t breathe, suffocating me. So I looked away from her, too, at the same sea, the same endless stretch of blue, at the waves smashing themselves apart against the rocks like they were addicted to their own destruction.

I tried to shove myself back into my body, to patch whatever cracked inside me, to delete this moment before it rooted itself where I couldn’t rip it out.

You see, pain can’t exist in my memory. It’s not allowed. If it stays, it will consume me whole.

And this, this moment, this silence, it felt like the second time she had reached inside me and twisted, hard, painful enough to leave fingerprints on whatever passed for my soul.

The first was…that night at the cabin, and the second was now.

I inhaled once, slow, mechanical, then looked back at her as if nothing had happened.

“Come on,” I said, my tone perfectly normal again, smooth and steady. “Let me drop you at your grandfather’s house.”

Aylin sniffled, wiped her cheek quickly, and walked beside me toward my car.

She paused when I opened her door, but she hesitated, her eyes flickering back to me, “Nathan, l—”

No, no…

I silenced her words by cupping the side of her neck and crashing my mouth against hers, shutting her up before she brings the topic up again, my lips bruising hers, warning her to never talk about this, and just let us resume everything the exact way it was.

I pressed her body against the car, my fingers sinking into her soft hair, tightening around it, cradling her head. She gasped into my mouth, breathless, my kiss stealing every last drop of oxygen she tried to hold onto.

Her fingers climbed up my hoodie, fisting the collar like she needed me to stay upright.

I pulled back only enough to breathe, then pecked her lips once.

“Any groceries you want me to get for our date tonight?” I asked, my voice light and easy.

She read every unspoken message, and her eyes held mine for a long, fragile second.

Then she nodded. “Uh…yeah,” she whispered. “I’ll send you a list.”

“Okay, cool, you’ll find them all in the house, ready,” I said, “And I guess I’ll drop by at seven?” I asked, and she nodded.

“You do realize it’s my house, right?” I added, raising a brow at how she is kicking me out.

Her lips twitched and she nodded, “At seven,” She whispered. “It’s a date.”

I nodded, sighing, “It’s a date.”

⊹˚₊‧───────────────────‧₊˚⊹

Author’s note:

So, what’s your thoughts on these two crazy kids? 🙂

Also, you can see, that a promise to Nathan is something he holds high. If he makes a promise, he keeps it. If someone makes him a promise, he expects them to keep it to, and if they don’t, well…we know what happened in BR xD

Anyway, should I update within the next two days (since I have a part of next chapter ready) or just wait till next week? 🙂

See ya soon ❤️‍🩹
(no grey heart, since this represents Nathan’s heart at the moment xD)