Chapter 107

THUD

Jungkook fell with a loud thud.

A while ago, With Eunwoo:

Eunwoo drove through the busy streets, his jaw tight, his eyes scanning every face, every corner, every shadow. He stopped near a row of large buildings and stepped out, approaching strangers one by one, holding up his phone showing Jungkook’s picture.

No one had seen him.

He kept moving. He stopped in front of an elderly woman carrying a bag of vegetables and asked, his voice coming out more desperate than he intended, “Halmoni…. Did you see someone around my height? Black hoodie… his hands were wrapped in bandages.”

The old woman’s eyes brightened. “Oh! Yes, yes, a boy bumped into me a little while ago. He even helped me pick up my vegetables after. Ahhh… he looked so sad, that one…”

Eunwoo’s chest flooded with relief. He quickly pulled up Jungkook’s photo and held it out. “Was it him?”

“Yes, yes, that’s him! He looked just like Mr. Kim’s son, I just come to think of it!” The old lady said, “Which direction did he go?” Eunwoo asked, already shifting on his feet.

“He went into the next street over,” she said, pointing. Eunwoo bowed quickly and ran.

He ran and ran, weaving through people, his eyes cutting through every face he passed. Then he spotted a figure, black hoodie, similar build, and rushed toward him, grabbing his hand.

The boy turned around with an annoyed expression.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” Eunwoo stepped back, breathing hard, heart sinking. Wrong person.

He kept searching. He checked every street, every alley, every corner he could think of. But Jungkook was nowhere.

Eventually he stopped in the middle of the road, chest heaving, hands on his knees, completely out of breath. “Where the fuck did you go, Kook…. Please…. Please be fine….”

He straightened up slowly and looked at the sky. At the moon hanging quiet and still above the city. “Eomma….” he whispered. “Where did he go….”

He stood there for a moment, the city noise washing around him. Then, something caught his eye. He looked up. High above, on the rooftop of one of the tallest buildings on the street, there was a figure. Standing at the very edge. Black hoodie.

He couldn’t see the face. But the fear that shot through him was instant and absolute. “No…. No no no no…”

He was already running before the words had fully left his mouth. He burst through the building’s entrance, bumping hard into strangers, not stopping, not apologizing. It was a hotel. He scanned the lobby in one sharp look, the elevator doors were closing, already full.

He had No time.

He spotted the emergency stairwell and threw the door open, taking the stairs two, three at a time, his legs burning, his lungs screaming.

“No no no no…. Please…. No… Not Jungkook…. Not him please….”

He kept climbing. Twenty floors. His breath came in ragged gasps. His legs felt like they were on fire. But he didn’t slow down, not even for a second. He just kept climbing.

He reached the rooftop door and stopped for just a fraction of a second. “Jungkook….” he whispered. He pushed it open. And there he was.

His best friend. The one who always had the brightest, most beautiful smile, standing at the very edge of the railing, his back to the world, ready to leave it.

“JUNGKOOK!”

Eunwoo’s voice tore out of him like something broken. He launched forward, and the moment Jungkook’s foot lifted to take that final step, Eunwoo’s hand closed around him and yanked him back with everything he had.

THUD

They crashed down together onto the rooftop floor with a loud, heavy thud.

Eunwoo had managed to get his hand behind Jungkook’s head but the impact was still brutal. Jungkook’s head knocked hard against the ground despite it, a pained groan ripping from his throat. “Ahhhhhh”

Eunwoo’s own head hit the floor hard, splitting open at the front. Blood immediately began to seep through. He groaned, “Arghhh” squeezing his eyes shut for a second against the blinding pain.

But his arms didn’t let go. Even on the ground, even bleeding, his hands stayed, one at Jungkook’s waist, one cradling the back of his head. Then Jungkook’s eyes opened.

The realisation hit him slowly,  then all at once. He looked down at the hand holding him. Something dark and desperate moved across his face. He jerked the hand away and forced himself upright on trembling legs. Then he turned, and walked straight back toward the railing.

Eunwoo was on his feet in an instant. “YAHHHHHH” He grabbed Jungkook’s hand and held on tight, pulling him back from the edge.

Jungkook stood there, eyes squeezed shut, chest heaving, trying to compose himself. Then he jerked Eunwoo’s hand away, hard and walked toward the railing again.

Eunwoo grabbed him from behind and pulled him back sharply and yelled “YAHHH!! ARE YOU CRAZY?!”

Jungkook spun around to face him. His eyes were red and glassy, tears streaming freely down his face. For a moment they just stared at each other and then Jungkook shoved him. Hard. Eunwoo stumbled backward and hit the ground with a thud.

“Mind your own fucking business,” Jungkook said, his voice cold and hollow in a way that didn’t sound like him at all. He turned back to the railing. He reached for it. Started to climb.

Then Eunwoo’s hand closed around him again and yanked him back, and this time, when Jungkook turned, Eunwoo pulled back his fist and punched him. Hard. “YOU FUCKING MORAN”

The impact snapped Jungkook’s head to the side. He stumbled, groaning, his hand flying up to his face.  He stood there, breath heavy, staring at the ground.

Then, Jungkook looked at him for a moment then punched back. Hard.

Eunwoo stumbled, nearly losing his footing. Before he could recover, Jungkook grabbed him by the collar and pulled him close, his voice breaking even as it came out cold.

“Wae? why the fuck are you doing this, huh? Why won’t you let me diw? That’s what you wanted, right?” His grip tightened. “You must have wished for my death as well—-“

Eunwoo shoved him off and punched him again, more harder this time.

Jungkook fell. He hit the ground and groaned, the air knocked out of him. For a moment he just lay there.

Then Eunwoo dropped to his knees beside him and grabbed him by the collar, and when Jungkook looked up, he saw that Eunwoo’s face was completely soaked with tears. No more anger in his eyes. But maybe hurt? Disbelief?

“Yahh….” Eunwoo’s voice came out shaking, raw, barely held together. “You think I wished for your death, huh?”

Jungkook said nothing.

“How can you even say that?” Eunwoo’s voice cracked wide open. “You really thought, after everything , after all these years, that I wished for your fucking death?” He let go of the collar. His hands fell away. “This is what I am to you? This is what I’ve fucking been to you all this time?”

He couldn’t finish. He broke down completely, sitting back on the wet ground, his face crumpling, crying hard the kind of crying that had no performance in it, no control, just pure devastation pouring out.

“H-how can you say that I wished…. F-for your death…” he sobbed. “How can you say that….” Jungkook sat there on the ground, staring at him.The anger drained out of him all at once.

“You didn’t?” he asked, barely above a whisper. Tears falling. Voice cracking completely. Eunwoo looked at him through his tears. And slowly, quietly shook his head.

Then he moved forward and pulled Jungkook into his arms. Jungkook didn’t resist. He didn’t say a word. He just leaned in. Let himself be held.

“I could never….” Eunwoo said, his voice muffled, his arms tightening. “I could never, Kook. Not even for a second.”

Something cracked open inside Jungkook’s chest at those words. The tears came all at once fast and uncontrollable. His lips quivered. He pressed his face against Eunwoo’s shoulder and just broke.

“Ahhhh wae….. What the fuck am I supposed to do….. Ahhhhhhh waee” He wailed. Loud and broken and completely unguarded every wall he had ever built coming down all at once on that rooftop.

Eunwoo didn’t say anything. He didn’t try anything. He just held him tighter and cried with him.

Jungkook wailed for everything. For years of pain he had swallowed alone. For years of guilt he had carried in silence. For everything he had held so tightly inside himself for so long that it had slowly been crushing him from the inside. He couldn’t hold it anymore. His heart simply could not carry it anymore.

“I’m sorry…. I’m sorry….” Jungkook sobbed.

“No.” Eunwoo shook his head, his own voice broken. “You did nothing wrong…. I’m sorry…. I’m the one who’s sorry, Kook….” Jungkook only cried harder.

Minutes passed. Jungkook didn’t calm down. If anything, he cried harder, like something that had been locked away for years had finally found its way out and refused to go back. “It’s hurting a lot…..” he choked out between sobs.

Eunwoo pulled back from the hug. He held Jungkook by both shoulders and looked at him, really looked at him his voice tight with worry. “What is hurting, Kook? What hurts?”

Jungkook looked at him. His eyes were swollen, his face completely wet from tears, he tried to take a breath. Then another. Trying to find words inside all that pain.

“E-everything…” he said. Barely a whisper.

Eunwoo stared at him.

This was the first time. In all the years they had known each other… half their lives spent side by side… he had never once seen Jungkook like this. Not crying. Not broken open like this. Not like this.

Because Jungkook never showed it. That was the truth Eunwoo was only now fully understanding. He had been right there always right there and somehow he had never seen this. How much Jungkook had been carrying. How long he had been carrying it completely alone.

Jungkook slowly looked down at his hand.

The bandaging was soaked through dark and wet, blood seeping through the layers. Eunwoo’s eyes landed on it and his breath caught in his throat.

“My hand…” Jungkook started, his voice fracturing on every word. “My head…. My chest….. My back… My legs… My ribs…. My stomach…. It’s all hurting so much… It’s like it’s burning…. It’s constant…. It’s everywhere…. It’s just—” his voice broke. “It’s so painful…. I don’t want to feel it anymore…. I just don’t want to feel any of it anymore….”

Eunwoo couldn’t speak. He just stared, his tears falling freely, his chest caving in with every word.

And then Jungkook said the thing that completely wrenched his heart.

“And… And especially….” Jungkook pressed his hand against his own chest, right over his heart. His face crumpled. “My heart…. It hurts the most…. Like… like someone is always there…. always stabbing it…. over and over…. and it never stops….” His voice dropped to almost nothing. “I just can’t take it anymore…. It’s too much…. I can’t… I fucking can’t—” He couldn’t finish.

He broke down completely, collapsing inward, sobbing hard, both hands clutching his chest as it ached again. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. In every way a person could hurt all at once.

It was too much. It had always been too much. He had just never let anyone see it.

Eunwoo pulled him back in without a word. He wrapped his arms around him as tightly as he could and held on like if he held on hard enough, he could keep Jungkook from falling apart completely.

He was in shock. He had never imagined this. Not even close. He had never imagined that behind all of the smiles, Jungkook had been this broken. So broken that he had stood on the edge of a twenty floor building tonight and almost….  Eunwoo squeezed his eyes shut.

“I’m here….” he said, his voice cracking. “I’m here, Kook…. I’m not going anywhere…. I’m so sorry…. I’m so sorry I didn’t see it sooner…. I’m here. I’m still here. I’m right here with you….”

He said it over and over, not because he thought it would fix anything. But because it was the only true thing he had left to offer.

And around them, the rain started to pou.

As if the earth itself had heard everything Jungkook had held inside for years, and finally, quietly, decided to cry with him.

The rain had already started. But Jungkook didn’t pull away. He just stayed leaning into Eunwoo, face buried against his shoulder, crying and crying as the rain soaked through both of them.

“I am a fucking killer….” he wept. “I killed hyungie…. I killed eomma…. I made your life hell…. And now…. And now I find out that Suho hyungie was Jin hyung’s best friend…. And they were searching for him all these years…. All these years, Eunwoo…. And I was just…  I was fucking laughing with them. Giggling with them. Eating with them. Like nothing happened. Like I didn’t do anything.” His voice broke completely. “I don’t deserve any of it. I don’t deserve them. I don’t deserve to be  fucking alive…. Just kill me already…. Please…. I don’t want to live….”

“No.” Eunwoo’s voice came out firm even through the tears. “No, Kook. You are not a killer.”

“I am” Jungkook broke.

“You are not.” He tightened his hold. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was yours. It was your father’s mistake. Your father’s deal. Your father’s choices, not yours. You didn’t kill anyone, Kook.”

Jungkook shook his head slowly. When he spoke, his voice was quiet, and that quietness was somehow worse than the screaming.

“I clicked the trigger, Eunwoo.” A pause. “I aimed at him. I shot him. I killed him.” He said each word separately, like he had rehearsed them ten thousand times inside his own head. “That was me.”

Eunwoo pulled back just enough to look at him. His jaw was set. His eyes were red but certain.

“Your father made a deal with that bastard. They planned it. They set it up. They used you and hyung as pawns, as weapons and you were a child, Kook. You didn’t know. You didn’t choose that.” His voice dropped, low and firm. “They killed hyungie. Not you. You were just a victim in all of it, just like he was.”

Jungkook stared at him for a long moment. Then spoke. “You said I killed him, Eunwoo.” His voice was hollow. “You said that. You said those exact words to me. And appa said it. And today—-” his breath hitched. “Today my hyungs found out. And they just…. they looked at me and they just—-” He stopped. Swallowed.

“T-they’ll abandon me too.” He said it like it was simply a fact. Like he had already accepted it. “That’s what always happens. You always say I’m selfish, Eunwoo, and you’re right. I am. Look what I did four years ago, I left you and noona. I said horrible things. I abandoned you both, just so I wouldn’t have to stand in front of you as a killer. Just so I wouldn’t have to hear you call me one.” His voice cracked. “And now I want to do the same thing again. I want to disappear from their lives too. I want to abandon them… but this time by ending myself…. so they never have to look at me again…. And I fucking hate you when you care for me…. I don’t want anyone in my life…. I don’t want you or noona or anyone right now…. And even now all I say is I fucking don’t want you to care for me and get hurt because of me again….”

The words hung in the rain between them.

Eunwoo opened his mouth, but before he could speak, a crack of thunder split the sky.

Jungkook flinched violently. His whole body jerked. And immediately, a sharp, blinding pain tore through his head. He grabbed it with both hands, squeezing his eyes shut, struggling to breathe through it.

Eunwoo reached for him instantly. His hands closed around Jungkook’s arms, steadying him. “Yahh, what’s wrong? Is it hurting?”

Jungkook just exhaled slowly, long and shaking, rain streaming down his face, hands still pressed against the sides of his head.

The rain poured harder around them both.

Jungkook just sat there. Still. Hollow. The rain falling on him like he couldn’t feel it anymore.

“Come on let’s go to a hospital,” Eunwoo said, already reaching for his phone. “Don’t need to. I’m fine.” Jungkook said it flatly and stood up.

Eunwoo was on his feet instantly, his hand closing around Jungkook’s. “Kook…. No, please….”

Jungkook stood there for a moment. No more tears. No expression. He just slowly removed Eunwoo’s hand from his and walked toward the stairwell door without a word.

Eunwoo followed him.

“Jungkook, everyone is out searching for you. Come on, let’s go home—” “I said I don’t fucking want to.” Jungkook’s voice cracked like a whip in the stairwell. Eunwoo flinched.

“I don’t fucking want to go home.” His voice broke slightly despite itself. “I just want to be alone. Please. Just leave me alone.”

Eunwoo looked at him at the way he held himself, at the way he was shaking, at the way his eyes were red and swollen and completely empty now and couldn’t say a single word back.

Jungkook sniffled quietly. Then he just sat down. Right there on the wet rooftop floor, back against the wall, knees pulled up, eyes falling shut. No more tears came. There were simply none left to fall.

He sat in the rain. Unmoving.

Eunwoo stood a few feet away, watching him. And the guilt hit him like a wave slow at first, then all at once, crushing. He should have been there. All this time, he should have been there. Instead he had blamed him. He had said those words you killed him and he had meant them to hurt. And they had. God, they had. He had hurt him. He had contributed to breaking someone who was already barely holding together.

That guilt settled into his chest and didn’t move.

He quietly took out his phone and typed a message to Kim. I found him. He sent it before he could think too much about it.

Then he heard it, a phone ringing. Jungkook’s phone, still in his pocket from earlier. He walked over and held it out.

“It’s been ringing for a while,” Eunwoo said quietly.

Jungkook looked at it for a moment, then took it without a word. He glanced at the screen. Unknown number. He slipped it back into his pocket and closed his eyes again.

“It’s raining a lot…. You’re going to get sick if you stay out here–” Eunwoo started.

“It’s none of your business….. As I said I hate it when you care for me…” Jungkook’s voice came out sharp and cold. “Just leave.” He sighed at the end.

Eunwoo felt the tears rising again. He pressed his lips together and looked away, blinking hard.

Jungkook leaned his head back against his knees and shut his eyes.

Then the phone rang again.

He exhaled slowly. Pulled it out. Stared at it for a second,  same unknown number. He answered it, his voice coming out low and hoarse.

“Yeoboseyo.”

A beat of silence. Then a voice came through male, unhurried, carrying the kind of easy mockery that belonged to someone who was never caught off guard.

“You are kindly requested to check the message that was just sent to you and leave a reaction below it.” The voice was almost mocking.

“Yahhhh, who the fuck are you—-” The line went dead.

Jungkook stared at the phone for a moment. Then he lowered it slowly and said nothing. He didn’t check the message. He didn’t react. He just sat there in the rain, phone in his hand, eyes drifting shut again.

As if even curiosity had run out of him tonight.

Eunwoo tried once more, his voice small and breaking. “L-let’s go to your house, please…. You’re not well, Kook….”

Jungkook sighed. He stood up slowly, his body heavy, and walked toward the stairwell. He stopped at the door without turning around.

“Don’t follow me.” His voice was quiet. Final. “It won’t be good for you.”

And then he was gone. Just like that. Disappearing down the stairs and leaving Eunwoo standing alone on the rooftop in the pouring rain.

Eunwoo stood there. Not moving. Just standing in the rain, watching the empty doorway.

Then something inside him crumbled.

“It’s my fault….” he whispered. Then louder, “It’s my fault. I should have been with him. I should have been there all this time. I shouldn’t have blamed him. I shouldn’t have said those things. Ahhhh waeee??”

He pressed his hands over his face and cried. Standing alone in the rain, soaked through, sobbing into his palms. Regretting every word. Every moment he had looked at Jungkook with blame instead of reaching for him. Every second he had wasted.

Meanwhile, Jungkook climbed down the stairs slowly.

Each step felt like it weighed a hundred kilograms. His body ached. His head throbbed. His hand burned. He just kept moving one step, then another with nowhere to go and no feeling left inside him to care about that.

Then his phone buzzed.

A message. Unknown number the same one from before.

He stopped. Leaned his back against the cold stairwell wall and stared at the screen for a moment. He felt completely, utterly exhausted, the kind of exhaustion that lived in the bones, not just the body.

He opened it anyway. It was a voice message.

He brought the phone to his ear and pressed play.

Static at first. Distorted, crackling,  like the recording had been damaged or buried for a long time. It stuttered. Stacked. Then… A voice broke through.

Jungkook’s breath stopped. “Appa?” he whispered.

It was Kim’s voice. Unmistakably. Speaking in fluent, unhurried Italian.

“I don’t want anyone to find out about this. Do it quietly. No mistakes. Make it look like an accident.”

A pause. Then another voice, also in Italian, careful and formal.

“When should it be done, sir?”

Kim’s voice again. Completely calm. Like he was giving instructions for something completely ordinary.

“Tomorrow. She will be going out with my son to the amusement park. Only Hyesuk should be involved in the accident. I don’t want a single scratch on my son. Not on anyone else. Understood?”

Jungkook felt his entire world tilt.

The recording crackled again. Then Kim’s voice returned, quieter this time, but harder.

“Keep this away from Suho and Haein. And I repeat nothing happens to my son. Even a single scratch to him, you are dead.”

And then the message ended. Silence. Jungkook slowly lowered the phone from his ear.

His grip loosened. The phone slipped from his fingers and hit the stairwell floor with a hollow thud. The sound echoed up and down the empty staircase.

So all! Its 3 in the morning and I am updating without sleeping….

Anyway, is it good? Did I write it bad? Ahhh I don’t know y, but I feel soo disappointed in this chapter….

Anyway, eunwoo realised his mistake! Some may have not like eunwoo in this chapter…. I am soo sorry for that. But this chapter was needed for sure…. For me I needed euwnoo in this scenes so the upcoming chapter will go smoothly!

I cried again…. I literally cried like I am Jungkook while writing! And guys I don’t hate him! I swear after Kim SeokJin, Jeon Kookie is my bias!

Still…. Jungkookie… I am really sorry for making you cry and feel this much pain…. I hope you get a happy ending…. But…. Still…. Who knows?

80+ comments before TMR 2 pm, DOUBLE UPDATE for sure! I know I am greedy…. Still I want to feel what it feels like to have plenty of comments… Hehe