Chapter 15

I“I… I am not fine,” Jungkook said in a broken voice, tears flowing.

Jungkook harshly wiped his tears while saying, “No, no, Kook, don’t cry. You shouldn’t cry. I-I am f-fine,” Jungkook said, trying to stop his tears but they wouldn’t stop.

Jungkook’s lips wobbled, he let out a loud sob, hid his face with his hands, and started crying. He was crying like this after years.

He curled up like a ball, crying hard. His body shook with each sob. “Why? Why? I d-don’t want to live. P-please leave me alone. It’s hurting a lot. All my body parts are hurting… especially my heart. I want to go to my e-eomma, I-I miss her a lot. B-because o-of me hy-hyungie d-died and e-eunie and noona is angry on me. I just wanted them to be happy, but they are also suffering still. Why did that monster have to do this? Wae? i am not fine. i dont want to feel pain. i want my noona and eomma, i want their comfort. i cant take it anymore, every single day it is like a nightmare. i miss them a lot. i want my family back…. p-p-please.” Jungkook cried hard.

he may always have a cold face, but now he was crying like a baby who was asking for love and care.

is it too hard to give him the comfort he want?

He broke down completely just by hearing “Are you fine?”. that one question after years made him broke down completely. he have’nt cried this hard for a while. but that only caring quesion from jin, who jungkook was hating made jk to open his emotion.

He cried and cried, at one point he started breathing heavily. He couldn’t breathe properly, trying to calm himself. His whole body ached, especially his stomach.

With great difficulty, he sat up and took the glass of water. He drank slowly, trying to calm himself. After drinking water, he started taking deep breaths, but the tears still flowed.

He just sat there, leaning against the headboard, while tears was flowing, he didnt mind to wipe those. Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain in his head. He held his head tightly, “Ahh,” he whimpered in pain. With the pain, some flashes came.

“Kookie hyungie will always be with you, we promise,”

“Your Jinnie hyungie, and Tae tae are there for you, Kook,”

“I love my hyungies a lot, a lot, they are my world,”

“Yoona, let’s t-take hyungies to Italy pl-please.”

Those flashes with blurred faces made Jungkook whimper more in pain, “Ahhhhh,” he cried out. The flashes stopped, but the throb remained.

Jungkook felt something tickling in his nose. He touched his nose, only to see blood flowing. He gulped and wiped the blood with his hand. With great difficulty, he stood up and went to the washroom.

He saw the blood still flowing. He took a tissue and wiped it. After a few minutes, the bleeding stopped. He put the tissue in the dustbin.

He splashed water on his face, looking at his reflection—a face flushed red, eyes bloodshot. He clasped his lips.

“How pathetic he am, I was right, I’m a fucking useless, pathetic idiot,” Jungkook muttered, fisting his hand. He went to his bed and lay down, thinking about the flashes he’d seen earlier.

“What were those?” he asked himself. “Were they memories or illusions?” he wondered. “Whatever, please don’t come back, it hurts too much.” A tear escaped his eye.

He picked up a photo frame from the drawer of the side table. It showed him, eunwoo, Hae-in, and Hye-suk, and a man older than jin was there, happy in the photo. (It was taken on jungkook’s 16th birthday)

He smiled sadly, a tear rolling down his cheek. “Mianhae,” he mumbled.

“Sorry for destroying our family. First, because of me, eunnie and Noona got dragged into the hell of the mafia. Then they suffered with me. By saving me, Eomma left us. Even after that, you guys were there for me, but what did I do? I broke your trust by being the reason Hyungie died. I regret it. The guilt is eating me. I know you both won’t forgive me in this life, but I want you both to be happy. Why did you both join the mafia again?”

“He was right, I’m selfish, a betrayer, a killer. I’m the most unlucky person in this world. I don’t deserve to get love and care. I’m just a fucking piece of shit,” he blamed himself, crying.

After a while, He picked up a chain and held it.

“Mianhae, Hyungie,” Jungkook whispered. He closed his eyes, another tear slipping down his cheek. Unknowingly, he fell asleep. When he slept the time was 1 in night.

—

Meanwhile, with Jin:

He was lying on his bed, looking through old photos of them, where Jungkook was present.

He smiled every time he flipped a page.

One picture showed a newborn baby Jungkook. There were pictures of Jungkook’s birthdays from age 1 to 8.

He saw Tae holding Jungkook for the first time, Yoona feeding Jungkook ice cream while jungkook was eating it happily, Jin giving Jungkook elephant rides, and Kim giving Jungkook piggyback rides.

Tae and Jin kissing Jungkook on both cheeks. Jungkook’s first steps. Jungkook’s first day of school. There were so many memories of Jungkook in that photo book.

Whenever Jin or Tae missed Jungkook, they would look at this book or play recordings of Jungkook with them. A tear slipped from Jin’s eye. “I missed you a lot, Kookie,” he said, caressing Jungkook’s picture. With tears in his eyes, he watched for some more time and then put the book away in the closet.

He lay back on the bed, closed his eyes, and a tear rolled down his cheek.

—

A few days after Jin and Tae returned from Italy:

Jin and Tae were terribly sad from the incident.

Tae often cried himself to sleep, and Jin stayed with him, offering comfort, but he himself was crying.

He was heartbroken. First, he heard his mom was no more, and then he heard Jungkook had barely escaped death but couldn’t remember anything.

Due to Kim’s protectiveness, Tae and Jin knew they wouldn’t be able to see Jungkook for a few days.

“H-Hyungie,” Tae called in a weak, broken voice. “Nae, T-Tae,” Jin asked. “I-I want K-Kookie. Can we go and meet him, p-please?” Tae asked, tears shining in his eyes.

Jin bit his lower lip, not knowing what to say to Tae. He just hugged Tae tightly. “N-nae, once Jungkook gets better, w-we can g-go,” Jin said, though he himself didn’t know if that would happen.

Tae just hugged Jin, crying silently. Jin’s eyes were shedding tears. Suddenly, he noticed Tae’s heavy breathing.

He broke the hug and saw Tae gasping for air. “H-hey, T-Tae, b-bear, w-what happened, baby?” Jin asked, worried and scared. “E-eo-eomma,” Tae said between his heavy breaths.

Jin panicked, seeing Tae struggling to breathe. “H-hey, b-bear, b-breath, please, d-don’t s-scare me, Tae, p-please b-breath,” Jin said, crying and trying to calm Tae. Tae’s face was red. Jin took his phone with shaky hands and dialed someone.

“U-Uncle, Uncle,” Jin said, panicked. “Jin, what happened?” it was Hyun Woo. “U-uncle, T-Tae, h-he c-can’t b-breath, p-please c-come.”

That day, Tae had a severe panic attack. He was under observation for a whole day. Jin was terrified and panicked, crying continuously. From that day on, Jin started living for Tae, taking care of him. Whenever Tae cried for Yoona or Kook, he was there for him, calming him down each time. But he cried secretly as he missed his mom too.

Jin and Tae missed Jungkook every day. They just hoped they would see Jungkook soon, but days turned into weeks, weeks into months, and months into years. Still, they hoped they would meet.

Each time Kim spoke to them, they always asked about their maknae. Kim always said Jungkook was doing well and happy. Jin and Tae believed that, trying to stay happy knowing Jungkook was happy.

Tae continued to have panic attacks over the years.

After 12 years, Jungkook returned. But even though Jungkook had returned, they were unable to fully express their love and care for him.

The days they missed him and hoped he would return. When Jungkook finally came back, they were overjoyed. Even when they tried to approach him, he kept his distance, making them increasingly sad.

They still felt like Jungkook was distant from them.

—

Jungkook woke up with a throbbing headache. He groaned loudly and slowly opened his eyes. He checked the time: 4 AM. He sighed, picked up his phone, and scrolled through it to distract himself.

He was thirsty but there was no water on the glass. He sighed, stood up, wincing in pain, and went to the kitchen to drink some water. Afterward, he sat on the couch in the living room and turned on the TV, channel-surfing.

Just a few hours ago, he had cried hard, feeling hurt. But crying after a long time had allowed him to relive a little bit. He didn’t want to remember anything now, so he focused on watching TV. Whenever he was overthinking, he would either go to the gym to work out or watch TV and scroll through his phone. It was his usual routine.

Jungkook comfortably lay on the couch and continued watching TV. After a while, he unknowingly fell asleep.

—

Jin woke up at 7 AM. After freshening up, he went downstairs and heard the sound of the TV.

He went to the living room and saw Jungkook sleeping on the couch with a cute pout, the TV still on. Confused, Jin wondered, “Why is he sleeping here?”

He went near Jungkook and sat beside him, smiling at his cute sleeping bunny. Gently, he caressed Jungkook’s hair. “Cute!” Jin adored his maknae.

After a while of admiring him, he stood up, turned off the TV, and went to his room to get a blanket for Jungkook. He draped the blanket over Jungkook, who snuggled into it.

Jin smiled and went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, as he had taken charge of cooking for the day.

Kim had already left the night before.

It was almost 9:30, and Jungkook was still sleeping on the couch.

That’s when Tae came running downstairs, making noise. Jin immediately stopped him with a gesture to walk slowly. He looked at Jungkook, who was shifting in his sleep.

Tae noticed Jungkook sleeping and smiled. He went near him and whispered to Jin, “Why is he sleeping here?” Jin whispered back, “Don’t know.” Tae smiled and kneeled in front of Jungkook. He looked at his cute, sleepy bunny.

“He’s so cute while sleeping, Hyungie. See, he still has that habit of pouting while sleeping,” Tae whispered, smiling. Jin chuckled and nodded, both brothers admiring their maknae.

Tae took out his phone and took some pictures of the sleeping Jungkook. Then, he stood up and adjusted Jungkook’s blanket.

“Hyungie, what’s for breakfast?” Tae asked, excited to hear that Jin was cooking. “Our favorites,” Jin replied as he cooked everyone’s favorites.

Tae grinned. “Okay, come on, help me with the chores,” Jin said, asking Tae to help him.

Tae nodded and started helping Jin.

Meanwhile, Jungkook finally woke up. He groaned in pain as his head throbbed. Blinking a few times to adjust to the light, he looked around. After a moment, he realized he was on the couch.

He looked out the window and saw the bright sunlight. With a wince, he got up, feeling the pain in his head.

Jin and Tae noticed his movement. They smiled and went to him. “Good morning, Kook, you’re awake,” Tae said warmly.

—

Hey guys how was the chapter?

I am not satisfied with the chapter…

Anyway any guesses for upcoming clapters?

Guys pls do COMMENT pls. Its my motivation.

Bye bye!